Breastfed baby and sleeping?

[Decembertojanuary]

Not sure where to put this!

Baby is breastfed, and I’m also expressing. Obviously this takes a lot of time overnight.

I’ve been sitting up in the lounge with baby from midnight until whenever he sleeps (usually around 7am.)

How do others manage this? Just struggling with it but on the other hand I don’t want OH getting no sleep either.

It also probably sounds way in the future right now, but just so you see the difference.

0-4 ish months my baby was feeding on and off all day, some days more, others less. But basically he ate, a lot. But I think the first 4 weeks of that was the struggle the most of not knowing if he was getting enough or if he wanted feeding again.feeds were 10-30 mins. But he grew fine.

Now, he’s almost 8 months. He’s still a terrible sleeper ( sorry), but he now has more of a routine. And he feeds 2-10 mins at a time so it’s far more efficient.

So basically, it changes every day at this age, so what you did yesterday won’t mean today or tomorrow is the same. Just try and go with the flow although that’s hard. I nearly threw the phone out the window using a stupid baby app that told me every feed or sleep was too long or too short!

You are right weall Sorry

He’s back on the breast and I’ve finally got rid of OH which makes life ten times easier.

And now had 60 ml formula.

@Decembertojanuary I really think you might be complicating things for yourself giving formula too. I know you want to ensure baby is eating but if they’re having lots of non breast feeds your breasts will be producing less because they don’t think the milk is needed. Breast milk is completely supply and demand. Could you try just offering breast all day and seeing what happens? It’s normal for little babies to be on the breast loads and on and off, on and off.

@saynotodietcoke what a completely shit, useless and irritating comment to make when reading through this thread since it started and I was feeding DC in the early hours it’s quite clear, repeatedly being reconfirmed by OP, that she absolutely wants to breastfeed and is giving her absolute all in the quest to get it right.

You saying essentially ’just quit your baby is hungry’ is useless and possibly damaging to the journey OP wants.

I’ve been reading @Decembertojanuary and you’ve got good advice. Here’s another vote for you’re certainly not alone. I am the first in 3 generations of my family to breastfeed. Nobody seemed to know anything about how it worked and what it takes. I take my hat off to every woman that has or tried to breastfeed, it mentally and physically takes everything from you.

Reading your last few comments, the formula after a breastfeed will be hindering your progress here. Baby can’t help but eat it from a bottle. We went through lots of cluster feeding patches too and I just cried some nights because he wouldn’t get off.

If your baby is a healthy weight at present, would you be happy with dropping the formula top ups for 2 days to see how you and baby adjust?

I do understand the bottle issues but I also really can't let his weight drop. He’s had much less formula today than normally. And breastfed more than he usually does.

Remember most newborns loose weight after birth and regain gradually over 2-3 weeks. So it’s normal they would have lost a bit and are just regaining birth weight

He’s had much less formula today than normally. And breastfed more than he usually does.

That’s brilliant, I hope you get a chance to rest now too.

@Decembertojanuary

I do understand the bottle issues but I also really can't let his weight drop. He’s had much less formula today than normally. And breastfed more than he usually does.

That sounds really positive, glad you've had a better day!

I'm having similar difficulties. My baby (now 5 weeks) spent her furst week in NICU being bottle fed. I was allowed to try to breastfeed but due to her health wasn't able to for more than once a day. Now she prefers the bottle. She does latch on half the time but then doesn't drink enough. Other times she point blank refuses. I've spoken to I think 7 or 8 lactation consultants (there was always one present in NICU (not uk)) and saw two once we were home. I'm doing everything correctly, she doesn't have tongue tie (has been checked several times), my milk comes in but she just really refuses. Nipple shields make no difference. The lactation consultants were out of extra options unless just letting her go hungry unless she feeds at the breast.Well, I'm
not going to let her go hungry. I also don't see the point in both DH and my getting up at night when I'm already up to pump. I will not stop bf because I really want to and feel I need to. Bf for 6 months lowers the chance of ovarian cancer which my mum and gran died from. So I'm doing it for my health as well.

I rent the double medela symphony pump. It means that I can pump two breasts at the same time which saves me time. I pump for 15 minutes because that's when my milk dries up. My routine is to sometimes (not at night) try to get her to latch - then give bottle of expressed milk- new diaper- more bottle milk- pump- go to sleep (or eat or shower). It's really hard work isn't it? I'm doubting between putting more effort and energy in bf orswitching one or two feeds a day to formula to give me a little rest. Longest stretch of sleep was 2.5 hours. 1.5 hours is more usual though. I try to nap sometime during the day so on a succesful day I manage to sleep for 6,5 or 7 hours. Doesn't always work out though.

I try not to make a big deal out of her breastfeeding/latching on. I'm trying to make it comforting for her by stroking her back and whispering to her. She is worse when one of us gets stressed so no point in forcing her. If she refuses she gets the bottle. If she does bf she doesn't drink enough so we stop around the 20 minute mark. I tried bf for longer but ended up with an overtired unhappy baby who then didn't want to latch on for days.

No idea if we'll ever establish proper bf. I haven't totally given up hope but do have my doubts. NICU and her being so sick really mucked up the breastfeeding. I have read that some women do still manage to make that transition after two or three months.

Hope the night went OK OP x

Kind of. Thanks for asking.

I’ve worked out the issue is he isn’t getting much milk through the shields. I’m going to try a different way of putting them on I found when I searched on here. I certainly have milk - woke up covered in the stuff!

Have you tried recently without the shields? Baby may be a little better now. When I struggled to get my daughter to latch as she was thrashing around, I squished my nipple and areola into a flatter shape and she latched much better. Maybe worth a try?

bornandfed.com/sandwich-hold/

You may have already tried these. Worth a go again now he's older.

OP at this stage I was feeding around the clock. I didn't look at the clock or have any kind of routine. My lo fed for hours at a time. Actual hours. I just sat with a tit lopped our all day on the sofa; dh sorted the food and house. Even after a good hour feed, my lo would still root and fuss. He lost 12% in his first 10 days and had jaundice so I was literally doing nothing but feeding. It was hard but I just told myself it was completely normal. When do you next have him weighed? For what it's worth I agree with others that you're putting yourself through the wringer but I honestly have no answers that could help. I just made myself give myself up to feed for weeks months on end. It ended, and now I've a thriving 21 month old, but it was hard as fuck and I will never get that lost sleep back. My biggest advice would be that men aren't as soft as we give them credit for and can survive on as little sleep as we do. Use and abuse DH for absolutely everything. Have him make you snacks, get bottles of water and a flask of tea ready before he goes to work every day so you don't have to do anything at all. It feels hard and like you can't cope I know but it helped me so much, so I could just sit and feed all day long (basically all I did). Baby would go to the loo with me, lay in Moses basket in bathroom if I could face a shower but otherwise was just stuck to the boob. It ends, I promise. You will feel more like you and your baby will feed whichever way you decide. Also - whatever you decide will be right for you. All the luck in the world. It will get better, I promise.

Sorry for lack of paragraphs - my toddler is sitting on my head pretty much.

Crying and fussing at the breast and falling asleep on the breast is completely normal baby behaviour as is a 20 min feed. My DD often fed for only 10 mins at a time. She was little and often. That was just her needs. You should be judging the success of a feed not by any of these factors but by the amount of wet nappies produced.

I would give up the pump and get rid of the formula. Allow baby unrestricted access to the breast while you are getting established. Set up camp on the sofa with your top off and watch some TV. Get DH to bring you supplies.

Practise breastfeeding lying down in the day time and then start to cosleep to encourage night time feeding. It's difficult at first but it works!

Good luck OP.

Thanks. The thing is that after just being breast fed he doesn’t have wet or dirty nappies. I think he gets enough to take that immediate ‘I am ravenous’ feeling away but nowhere enough for full and thriving.

I try without the shields every day - just doesn’t happen! He’s just had an expressed breast milk feed (he was too tired to latch)

The midwife is coming today to weigh him and I’ll ask for further support but I’m starting to think it will have to be expressing.

Assume you've tried the sandwich/taco technique? That helped my first latch on after shields.

There are some exclusive pumping groups on Facebook but reality is pumping is a lot more gruelling then BF as it doesn't stretch out from every 2-3 hours.

Definitely speak to the midwife she can also refer you to the infant feeding support team for more help and to check that the tongue tie hasn't reattached.

Can you set up camp on the big bed and just give into learning together? He will get enough over the course of the day. I think, kindly, you both need to be patient with the process. You really are so early into all of this feeding malarkey. As a previous poster said, babies are often still sleepy from birth and drugs for the first few weeks anyway.

He won’t another trust me

You could try using formula instead of expressed milk?

Well. Yes 😂 but the whole point is I want to breastfeed him.

Op my first born stopped breast feeding as I was expressing because I was worrying about how much milk he got and I didn’t have/ ask for any support. I exclusively pumped until he was 4 1/2 months old. How long is it taking you to express? What sort of pump are you using? I could express a full bottle on a single electric pump mostly in between 10 and 20 minutes. Are you using a Hakka for your let down? Could you rent a hospital grade pump to speed up the process or invest in an elvie so you can pump as your doing other things? Just trying to suggest a few things that may make it a bit quicker/ easier for you. Exclusively pumping is hard I remember feeling like a failure every time someone told me to just give my baby formula; I didn’t want to. X