*Explicit sexy stuff*. Don't open and whinge that it's about sex because you have been warned

[ChristmasSexyTime]

I posted in the sex topic before (under a different name) and had some pervy guys write to me so I'd rather just post in chat, I want some practical advice from actual females!

So here's my issue... Sometimes, during sex, if I'm not getting anywhere, my DH will place my hand on my ladybits so I can DIY it. I'm always on my back when this happens.

This is all well and good but I actually don't get off that way. I always masturbate on my front ('humping' my pillow for want of a better word). Thing is, we've been together for a while now and I haven't demonstrated because I'm worried that it looks really frickin weird. (I'd have to have my back to him so that would be really antisocial) .

Anyhoo, three questions:

1. straw poll - does anybody else do it this way? Or am I the weirdest woman in the world?

2. How, after all this time do I casually bring up that the way he thinks I do is not the way I actually do it?

3. If you use this method, do you do it in front of your partner? I don't know but to me, it seems odd.

This isn't the sort of thing I can bring up in real life with anybody and the Internet is not helping. So any advice would be super appreciated!

You are normal, nothing unusual about doing it this way at all.

Would also recommend a mini vibe to use whilst DTD.

You could be hanging from the ceiling and you'd still get there in under a minute.

I'm going to google them immediately.

@Tolerable That's a frickin' hilarious non-intentional pun

@zzizz agreed. I now view it as a creche/barrier for corralling the perves. I haven't been on it in a while though so maybe its improved but I doubt it.

Satisfyer.

Thank me later.

@Chanandlerbong01 love the username btw. And also, good suggestion. I don't want it to seem like something I've hidden. Be good if 'we' somehow 'discovered' this together.

I could practice my surprised face.

@daisyjgrey

Just looked them up - reasonably priced! Which do you have? The 'pro' looks good. But maybe the curve is what a 'grinder' might need? I'll take your advice.

Christ, my bank balance will be empty by this evening

I'd definitely suggest toys- perhaps even a vibrator you can lie on (prop it on a pillow perhaps ) or get DH to hold it?

If you want to try your way the only thing you need to do is suggest it to your DH in the moment. You may find he has his own suggestions too if the two of you aren't particularly open about your sex life. I'd recommend having a chat to see if there's anything else you want to try or do differently. It may open your eyes and make you feel more comfortable if you find masturbation tricky enough to talk about!

Hi Christmas, just posting to also say you're not alone. I do it on my front and have also felt unusual about it.
I told my DH about it after many years! I just though life's too short! He was unfazed.

Since my divorce I've told anyone I sleep with about it. Have not had anyone run screaming yet!

@Hangingover

Get a bodywand

You could be hanging from the ceiling and you'd still get there in under a minute.

Can confirm OP the ceiling part I mean

Oh, I would just tell him! Next time you're having a bit of a sexy conversation, tell him that you'd like to incorporate your method in the couple action. He would rather see you genuinely getting off, and openness is sexy. I can't imagine he will be put off. I don't do it your way but have heard of it many times! It's not shocking or weird.

Your DH might like it too by the way...
Perhaps invite him to your little shopping spree and see if there's anything that tickles his fancy?

[quote ChristmasSexyTime]@daisyjgrey

Just looked them up - reasonably priced! Which do you have? The 'pro' looks good. But maybe the curve is what a 'grinder' might need? I'll take your advice.

Christ, my bank balance will be empty by this evening [/quote]

Get the pro. I am the same as you and it's life changing.

@PickAChew them fucking Percy guys! That made me howl I don't know why!!

Has anyone bought one of them sucking vibrators? They are very expensive! Just wondering if it's the new rabbit

The wand needs a plug. It's that powerful lol

It has a long cord though

I'm going to potentially deplete your bank balance further by suggesting a Womaniser.

You can use it any which way and it's virtually impossible not to get there

You buy new pillows every 6 months?

Also I recently bought a subscription to OMG Yes - a massive survey about women and sex, and all kinds of ways are common

It's a bit border terrier tbh.

Hump his leg or face. Really works for some women.
And the reason there are male perves on MN is because they get the thrill of "interacting" with ordinary women.

This is a very common way to masturbate. This and the thigh clenching technique, I’m sure you wouldn’t have to do a lot of googling to find that out. You can learn to orgasm in other positions it’s just takes experimentation and practice. I would also suggest thigh riding if your partner wants to be involved.

@MacDuffsMuff

I'm just hoping you wash your pillow often and robustly.

Haha! ''Robustly'' washing a pillow.. But I think you can get good liners for pillows.

I saw an ancient 'Taschen' book of Georgian and Victorian 'Erotica' and there were illustrations women who used 'Bolsters' as dream partners in there.

Bolsters never took off in UK..Maybe we are too prudish? 😂

@TheChampagneGalop

Hump his leg or face. Really works for some women. And the reason there are male perves on MN is because they get the thrill of "interacting" with ordinary women.

Do these blokes admit to being blokes? Or do they pretend to be female?

I looked at Piston Heads once, when a high profile legal case was happening, and they referenced 'Mumsnet' as 'The Enemy'....But even admitted some of Mumsnet agreed with them.

@YoniAndGuy

It's a bit border terrier tbh.

Haaaaaaahaha!!!!!!!!

I had to think for a minute...Or a bit ''Yorkie'' humping the Vicar's leg''.