*Explicit sexy stuff*. Don't open and whinge that it's about sex because you have been warned

[ChristmasSexyTime]

I posted in the sex topic before (under a different name) and had some pervy guys write to me so I'd rather just post in chat, I want some practical advice from actual females!

So here's my issue... Sometimes, during sex, if I'm not getting anywhere, my DH will place my hand on my ladybits so I can DIY it. I'm always on my back when this happens.

This is all well and good but I actually don't get off that way. I always masturbate on my front ('humping' my pillow for want of a better word). Thing is, we've been together for a while now and I haven't demonstrated because I'm worried that it looks really frickin weird. (I'd have to have my back to him so that would be really antisocial) .

Anyhoo, three questions:

1. straw poll - does anybody else do it this way? Or am I the weirdest woman in the world?

2. How, after all this time do I casually bring up that the way he thinks I do is not the way I actually do it?

3. If you use this method, do you do it in front of your partner? I don't know but to me, it seems odd.

This isn't the sort of thing I can bring up in real life with anybody and the Internet is not helping. So any advice would be super appreciated!

My advice is also to get on top and grind against whatever you need to. Try all sorts of angles. Works for me when DH just puts his thumb/finger (dunno what it is actually!) between us and keeps it still and lets me find my position and grind against it as I wish while he is inside me.

ps doesn't he try to get you off himself in a variety of ways, though? Does he really always just move your hand for you to sort yourself out??

nancyblotwinbloom...i do.
not a £80 shot...i'll have to go find it see if remember where got..am sure it sorta oscilates too..as to sucking..pussypump...or indeed,improvised suction..and i think my wand is off amazon less than £20. wireless waterproof and ..well..just do it

For equipment related, Although the bullet can be good the device know either as a magic wand or a wand massager on eBay, with the plug in Mains rather than battery is very good,

Sometimes, during sex, if I'm not getting anywhere, my DH will place my hand on my ladybits so I can DIY it. I'm always on my back when this happens.

I missed the part where he puts your fingers on your crotch. Why doesn't he want to please you? Why do you have to do it yourself?

The satisfyer Pro uses suction. Difficult to stop though...

@PerhapsOverlyWorried

I’ve never got off on my front before but could you try him playing with your clit while you’re on your front and his hand kind of between your legs? I’m not a fan of sex that way either so no idea if that’d even work! Might need abnormally long arms...

And I’m really sorry to hijack your thread, but a PP said it’s possible to get off through penetrative sex, could someone possibly explain how that works please? I’ve never been able to reach climax like that tbh think I do it wrong anyway because I don’t really enjoy the feeling of a penis inside me and usually end up thoroughly unsatisfied

You need

1. to be turned on enough before penetration starts - it's ok to tell your partner you're not ready yet

2. clitoral stimulation. And before people jump up and down at this, google 3d print of clitoris to see how extensive it is. That's how it's possible to orgasm during penetration.

I find if I orgasm before penetration then I'm almost certain to orgasm again during. If I don't orgasm before then I am much less likely to.

@Eckhart

Your main problem is that you think there's something odd and unusual about you. There isn't.

You need to be able to share what you want with him, otherwise everything is geared to what he wants, including how you get your pleasure.

Do you really want sex with him to be that one-sided?

This

For me the orgasm through penetration isn’t a clitoral one, it’s entirely different and a different sensation. It comes from stimulating a specific spot on the back wall of the vagina , and it’s a much more powerful orgasm than the clitoral one which gives the tingly feet/ electric sensation.
Imho there are loads of different orgasms though, and I can get there by breast play alone too (again, different). It wasn’t until I was in my mid thirties that I experienced a clitoral orgasm, and it was only after a lot of experimentation (alone). I had partners through my teens and twenties rubbing away emulating what they’d seen in porn vids , totally oblivious to the way my body responded to their touch.

Pop on top and use his dick instead? If I'm on top I can guarantee an orgasm by using him that way but if he's on top I'm unlikely to orgasm.

Buy a womaniser - bit pricey but worth every penny. I am difficult to please, however this hasn't failed me yet and it's been over a year. You can use it solo or together and I will probably give mine a state funeral when it eventually dies (through overuse) but not before ordering a replacement and maybe a spare 😂

Cant believe I've got to 45 and thought I wasxweird doing the pillow thing!

It was how I started out as a teen but I sort of trained myself to do fingers lying on my back and using toys later with a partner.

Very different orgasms with the two techniques!

Recently I've enjoyed fingers but on my front, dh likes watching that way to or he'll do himself and grope my bum at same time.

Just get a small rechargeable vibrator or woamnizer (best thing you'll ever spend money on!) so when you are together you can whip it out and use it while still being with him. Lots of fun

@tolerable

nancyblotwinbloom...i do. not a £80 shot...i'll have to go find it see if remember where got..am sure it sorta oscilates too..as to sucking..pussypump...or indeed,improvised suction..and i think my wand is off amazon less than £20. wireless waterproof and ..well..just do it

@tolerable if you can find me the link i would appreciate it.

My partner (same sex couple) can only climax this way. I thought it was unusual at first but as long as we both enjoy ourselves that's all that matters.

Watch a movie together, the one you mentioned earlier and say oh wow she enjoyed that, should we give it a try.

to my channel,wavy phone "hallo boyze.."lol..ok i have this one www.amazon.co.uk/Wireless-Massager-Classic-Oliver-James/dp/B08JP8TQPX/ref=sr_1_33?dchild=1&keywords=recharge+body+wand&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1609307240&sr=8-33.
introducing it /by pulling from under pillow and use like microphone whilst cilla blackesk accesnt says..lets see..tonight,your stugglin...probli wouldnt work for everyone..i fortunately hink im hilarious..laughing in penetration is a shared experience..kegals for ever""

Tell, show, do! Communicate.

It’s important that you do what works for you. Ideally, let him hold you, while you show him. There is no standard female model, beyond the obvious and men do not have a full working knowledge of the female form. If someone tries to learn from porn, it can be a great fake informer and make things worse.

I can get off in a variety of ways/angles by myself but l can’t expect someone else to pick it all up by themselves.

As an aside, l assume this man has got a tongue in his head?

I assume he has got fingers too, so why isn't he using them?

females? ffs, god help anyone who gave a genuine reply to this.

Oh be quiet witchfinder general. It's just a turn of phrase. I'm very much 100% woman/female/whatever is the preferred term to use.

Stop looking for problems that don't exist.

Watch a movie together, the one you mentioned earlier and say oh wow she enjoyed that, should we give it a try.

Another great idea, I'll have a look for that film later

Really glad I started this thread, thanks for all the responses. There's loads that I want to reply to but I'm in the middle of some significantly less interesting tasks as we speak!

Shall reply more later on today but thanks again. I genuinely think its one of the more useful threads I've started in terms of the responses potentially making a HUGE difference to my life.

You guys are awesome