*Explicit sexy stuff*. Don't open and whinge that it's about sex because you have been warned

[ChristmasSexyTime]

I posted in the sex topic before (under a different name) and had some pervy guys write to me so I'd rather just post in chat, I want some practical advice from actual females!

So here's my issue... Sometimes, during sex, if I'm not getting anywhere, my DH will place my hand on my ladybits so I can DIY it. I'm always on my back when this happens.

This is all well and good but I actually don't get off that way. I always masturbate on my front ('humping' my pillow for want of a better word). Thing is, we've been together for a while now and I haven't demonstrated because I'm worried that it looks really frickin weird. (I'd have to have my back to him so that would be really antisocial) .

Anyhoo, three questions:

1. straw poll - does anybody else do it this way? Or am I the weirdest woman in the world?

2. How, after all this time do I casually bring up that the way he thinks I do is not the way I actually do it?

3. If you use this method, do you do it in front of your partner? I don't know but to me, it seems odd.

This isn't the sort of thing I can bring up in real life with anybody and the Internet is not helping. So any advice would be super appreciated!

Yes I do and my dh watches and enjoys it. I just lie on stomach and he can enter you from behind as you use your fingers on your clitoris whilst rotating your hips against him as he thrusts. Invest in a bullet though and you can use that in any position going forward.

Apparently it was Marilyn Monroe's special move to do that against her partners back. She must have had a lot of patience.

I’m the same, always did it on my front, always thought it must look a bit weird. Still told boyfriends about it though, none were ever fazed. If you’re actually married to this man just tell him. How long are you going to go on pretending?

I would also agree with the posters saying try to retrain yourself. It took me years and years to realise that I had become accustomed to this way from a young age at the expense of other options. It is possible. I would suggest not doing it your usual way while you try out other ways. It’s too easy to give in half way through and just resort to old habits.I was in my 50s before I managed to get myself off on my back. Don’t waste any more time!

It's going to be way better for both of you if you communicate what works. So orchestrate it, tell him what position to assume. You don't have to do a solo demo!

In my younger days the only way I could come was me on top but laying down rather than sitting if that makes sense and then grinding my pelvis against him while he thrusted. Gave me great orgasms. Now I'm fat and have a dodgy hip
It doesn't work so well but would that be worth a try?

I do it that way - it hits the spot. I’ve only ever shown a partner with my current one; after doggy he kind of spooned me on top so I slipped my hand down and showed him, and then he tried. Works for us.

OP, yes, I masturbate in the same way as you, and no, I don't pleasure myself in front of a man because he can't see anything! However, if we have sex where I am laying on my front, I can touch myself/rotate my hips against him as he thrusts. I often put a pillow under my hips and have the man kneel.

Re. number 2 and how to tell him, just tell him, or rather show him!

@MintyCedric
Are they worth the money? I’ve been contemplating buying one for a couple of weeks they are just so expensive!

@zzizz

No comments on the actual issue but yes I noticed the frequent perve factor in the Sex topic. On the plus side it keeps them all there I guess.

There are so many male 'sexperts' over there, all gagging to overshare their sex lives and what their DW likes (or more to the point what they like all described in huge detail). Bleurgh. It doesn't surprise me OP got some dodgy PMs.

I used to use a similar technique in my twenties but sort of sitting on the edge of the bed. I did tell my exh when we had been together a while and got engaged. I was a bit tipsy and he was desperate to see me do it 😀... o would never have dared if I hadn't had a few drinks. He loved it tbh.
When I got with current DH (over 40) I suddenly could do it the more traditional way, I'll be honest it was way more intense than my 'old' method.

1 - never tried it or heard of it before, but it doesn't sound weird. I might give it a try some time!

2 - how about mentioning it as if you've only just discovered it and found it so amazing you had to share?

3 - n/a but I wouldn't rule it out.

On my front is my usual position yeah, I thought i was weird so I'm glad I found this thread

I’ve never got off on my front before but could you try him playing with your clit while you’re on your front and his hand kind of between your legs? I’m not a fan of sex that way either so no idea if that’d even work! Might need abnormally long arms...

And I’m really sorry to hijack your thread, but a PP said it’s possible to get off through penetrative sex, could someone possibly explain how that works please? I’ve never been able to reach climax like that tbh think I do it wrong anyway because I don’t really enjoy the feeling of a penis inside me and usually end up thoroughly unsatisfied

Your main problem is that you think there's something odd and unusual about you. There isn't.

You need to be able to share what you want with him, otherwise everything is geared to what he wants, including how you get your pleasure.

Do you really want sex with him to be that one-sided?

Actually scrap my last comment, just realised how dodgy it looks asking folk to explain how to orgasm! I swear I’m not a hairy handed wanker will just google!

@PerhapsOverlyWorried

tbh think I do it wrong anyway because I don’t really enjoy the feeling of a penis inside me and usually end up thoroughly unsatisfied

Why do you think that's to do with you doing it wrong? Did you mention that you weren't getting anything out of it at the time (each time?)

So no one has one of these new sucking vibrators? Ffs they are £80!!

I need to know before I buy one

@oakleaffy. Ahh Jesus Christ on a bike. I have just remembered that my mother had a bolster when I was a little kid. (My mother was the biggest prude ever). I must tell my older sister next time we are on the phone. This is definitely not a thought I should have to endure by myself. 😵

@summersolstice43

On my front is my usual position yeah, I thought i was weird so I'm glad I found this thread

Same here! If I'm using a toy I'll be on my back but myself it's on my front. I feel much better from seeing this thread

Honestly worth learning the front way. I'd say there's a lot more control and a lot more intensity ultimately. So much to explore! Definitely the way to go. You are still in kindergarten my dear if you are humping pillows. Get yourself to secondary/uni/phds and beyond asap. Your body and mind will thank you for it.

Left side is hurting, let me just change positions.

So much better, definitely prefer it that way.

Done. Easy.

[quote notthemum]@oakleaffy. Ahh Jesus Christ on a bike. I have just remembered that my mother had a bolster when I was a little kid. (My mother was the biggest prude ever). I must tell my older sister next time we are on the phone. This is definitely not a thought I should have to endure by myself. 😵[/quote]
Its ok though because we all know mums and dads don't do sex!

Not read everyone’s responses yet but my advice would be for you to be on top and grind on him in the same way as you would do alone.

How you get off is actually really normal and natural way.

Why don't you ask him why he always moves your hand? Obviously it hasn't come from you so I'd be asking him and then telling him how you would like it. So much easier and everyone is happy. Sex like everything else in life is about communication