I opened my friend's Xmas present early and I wish I hadn't...

[Destinysdaughter]

Because it's a box of fucking Thornton chocolates! I spent ages looking for a pretty necklace for her that cost £13 And a box of Hotel Chocolat chocolates and this is what she gets me? I've known her since I was 16 so she is my oldest friend. It's not even about the money, its about the lack of thought and care that's gone into it that's upset me tbh. I feel like sending her a message tomorrow saying, let's not bother with Xmas presents any more if this is the pathetic amount of effort you're going to put into it. And she's not poor either, she's on a good salary. She's always been a bit unreliable but this feels like such an insult when I've always gone out of my way to get her something lovely. Pissed off!!

I know there's nothing anyone can say really, I just wanted to vent.

I had this happen with a friend. I didn't say anything but scaled back on the present budget for the next year.

You sound ungrateful to me, sorry.

Vent and then reset your expectations!

Don't be so materialistic,

I don’t think you sound ungrateful, a box of Thornton’s is the quintessential ‘couldn’t really be arsed’ present

Just let it pass, but don't forget.

Perhaps she is very wary because of the virus and hasn't been out to the shops much? I get that she could maybe have got something online, just trying to look from another angle x

Well you know what to get her next year!

Actually go the whole hog and get her a box of Family Circle biscuits.

I’d say the only difference between hers and your present is a £13 necklace. It’s not exactly a huge discrepancy is it?

You are not coming across well in your post OP. You sound like a spoilt 10 year old. Maybe you should send the text then she has the chance to drop you as a 'friend' and can save on the money and effort next time. For what it's worth, me and my friends don't do presents full stop.

Oh Thornton’s and hotel chocolate are miles apart!

Yeah don’t bother next year. You’re a little ungrateful but I think it’s fair enough if you’ve gone to trouble and she clearly hasn’t!

A £13 necklace? If I was your friend I'd be considering telling you not to bother in future too.

Don't send that message to her, you will look materialistic and petty. Better to just scale down your budget next year if you still feel unhappy about it. You don't give presents just to get something equal back, but it's natural to be hurt if you get something that makes you feel appreciative. Could it be that she doesn't think gifts are as big a deal as you do?

If this is the final straw in a history of her upsetting you, that's a different matter.

YANBU

This is such a weird post What's so bad about a box of Thornton's and what's so good about a £13 necklace?

You’re going to get flamed, but I TOTALLY understand why you’re pissed off. It’s never about the money, it’s the lack of thought or care. I hate getting crappy supermarket presents and was glad when I could suggest to my SIL that maybe we could just buy presents for the children.

Honestly? In the year we are having? Be grateful you have friends who buy you presents. Getting hung up on the value of gifts is very bad form.

Is this what Christmas has come to? Nit picking over presents. Bloody hell but you'd think after all that 2020 brought us that this really wouldn't matter. Unless there's a massive back story that you're going to drip feed then don't guage a whole friendship on one aspect of one day on the year.

I think I’d prefer a box of chocolates to a £13 necklace to be honest.

You sound materialistic and petty, you got her a £13 necklace not something from Tiffany

I made my best friend a Christmas cake, been making them for a few people since Sep, cost more time & effort than your £13 necklace and you know what she got me?

Nothing, cos I said don’t, because I don’t care about presents but I wanted to just make something nice for people because it’s Christmas not fall out about whether sodding Thornton’s is better than Hotel Chocolate

I'd prefer a box of Thornton's to a cheap necklace tbh.

You sound as though you've given her an incredibly expensive present.

Perhaps she’s having financial difficulties? Has something about her circumstances changed? What if she gave you nothing? You sound very materialistic and entitled. If my closest friend gave me that, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. At least she remembered.

£13 for a necklace is cheap IMO , I'd prefer a more expensive one without the chocolates .