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Original poster

I opened my friend's Xmas present early and I wish I hadn't...

258 replies

Destinysdaughter · 24/12/2020 20:30

Because it's a box of fucking Thornton chocolates! I spent ages looking for a pretty necklace for her that cost £13 And a box of Hotel Chocolat chocolates and this is what she gets me? I've known her since I was 16 so she is my oldest friend. It's not even about the money, its about the lack of thought and care that's gone into it that's upset me tbh. I feel like sending her a message tomorrow saying, let's not bother with Xmas presents any more if this is the pathetic amount of effort you're going to put into it. And she's not poor either, she's on a good salary. She's always been a bit unreliable but this feels like such an insult when I've always gone out of my way to get her something lovely. Pissed off!!

I know there's nothing anyone can say really, I just wanted to vent.

OP posts:
JillyCareful · 24/12/2020 21:26

I bought my bf a book that I know she will love. She just sent me a card. This hasn’t changed our relationship one bit.

FuckOffDailyFailure · 24/12/2020 21:26

I don't think there is the much difference between your present and hers. It isn't like you spent hundreds. I wouldn't think too much of it.

PhoebeSnow · 24/12/2020 21:27

This type of post reminds me of a story in Rod Stewart’s autobiography where he gives Elton John a mini fridge and receives a Rembrandt drawing!!!

Thehollyandtheirony · 24/12/2020 21:29

I've known her since I was 16 so she is my oldest friend.
Understandable, the last 9 months have been tough Wink

SpeckledyHen · 24/12/2020 21:30

Thornton’s are revolting. Please don’t give them to a food bank , we only like nice stuff :)

Mrgrinch · 24/12/2020 21:31

@SpeckledyHen

Thornton’s are revolting. Please don’t give them to a food bank , we only like nice stuff :)
Are you taking the piss or not?

You must be.

BeeDavis · 24/12/2020 21:31

A £13 cheapo necklace that’ll probably leave a mark on my skin or chocs? I know what I’d prefer!! Jesus Christ.

Original poster
Destinysdaughter · 24/12/2020 21:32

This isn't about the money! This is about our relationship and how unvalued I feel. This is someone that I have supported or decades, like when she was thinking about having an abortion, throughout her crap relationship, the time when when she was having an affair with her neighbour, the time when when her mum had a stroke and was dying. I've spent hours listening to her problems, invited her down to Dorset for free holidays at my sister's house, helped her choose clothes that suit her etc etc. And after this difficult year when I've been living alone, this is the amount of effort she puts into our relationship?

And no, I'm not materialistic, its just symptomatic of how I feel about our relationship right now and how she's always late and frequently cancels plans and how it feels very lopsided.

But hey, thanks for all the judgemental responses, that's really helped.

OP posts:
Justbrutallyhonest · 24/12/2020 21:32

Grow up

user1494055864 · 24/12/2020 21:33

@SweetGrapes

a box of Thornton’s is the quintessential ‘couldn’t really be arsed’ present

Really?? I have sent some to people before!! Didn't mean it that way! Blush

Thorntons are my favourite chocolates, so I'd be happy. Although I'm also fine with Bayliss and Harding or anything from boots, unlike so many people on here!
Keratinsmooth · 24/12/2020 21:33

Give her a break, what’s she normally like? I’ve struggled with shopping this year, avoided it and super busy with work,!kids etc. It doesn’t mean that I don’t like my friends,

ddl1 · 24/12/2020 21:34

Send them to me! I love chocolates and it's one thing people do tend to give me as presents, because they know I like them.

Sorry that you didn't get a gift you like, but it's honestly a bit shallow to
compare prices on what you give her versus what she gave you. Maybe she's feeling the pinch at the moment: sadly, not uncommon this year.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 24/12/2020 21:35

Jeez , let her off . It’s a strange year and not really a shopping year
You must have other issues with her ? As if a dear mate did it id shrug it off

OudRose · 24/12/2020 21:35

I would rather chocolate than a £13 necklace.

TableFlowerss · 24/12/2020 21:37

@ApplestheHare

This is such a weird post Confused What's so bad about a box of Thornton's and what's so good about a £13 necklace?
Exactly
Thisisworsethananticpated · 24/12/2020 21:37

Ah so she is a shit friend in general
If you had said that in first post you would have got kinder comments
Maybe it’s the nail in the coffin Flowers

janetmendoza · 24/12/2020 21:38

Fgs ! I have friends. I really like them. I get them absolutely nothing and they return the favour because we are not children. If any of us wanted a box of chocs of any value or a cheap necklace we would buy it ourselves. Honestly what possible present exists for the price of £15 that would surprise and delight a grown up woman? Stop with the pointless and tokenistic presents and in future just genuinely wish each other a happy Christmas and leave it at that.

Mrgrinch · 24/12/2020 21:40

So all of a sudden the friendship is meaningless just because her gift wasn't good enough for you?

You have a bit of a cheek to call other people judgemental....

BitOfFun · 24/12/2020 21:40

@janetmendoza

Fgs ! I have friends. I really like them. I get them absolutely nothing and they return the favour because we are not children. If any of us wanted a box of chocs of any value or a cheap necklace we would buy it ourselves. Honestly what possible present exists for the price of £15 that would surprise and delight a grown up woman? Stop with the pointless and tokenistic presents and in future just genuinely wish each other a happy Christmas and leave it at that.
Exactly.
TommyKnocker · 24/12/2020 21:41

Any other year I would probably be upset - as you say it's about the thought not the money. This year however is different for obvious reasons and maybe she just didn't have the headspace. Yes, it's a bit crap but if she is generally a good friend and thoughtful I would let it go.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 24/12/2020 21:41

You're not being serious are you? A £13 necklace is something that my best friend and I would have gotten each other out of argos when we were 12!

So the only difference between what you got one another for Christmas is she gave you an box of chocolates and you gave her a box of chocolates and a green neck? Right then.

AlternativePerspective · 24/12/2020 21:42

I’d prefer a box of Thornton’s to a piece of cheap tat. Grow up.

Lucindainthesky · 24/12/2020 21:44

Was £13 a typo? Did you miss off a zero? If not they sound like quite evenly matched gifts to me

I8toys · 24/12/2020 21:48

I think it's not the cost but the lack of thought and care that would annoy me. It's like getting a gift from a petrol station. Something individual to you no matter how cheap would mean more.

WildUnknown · 24/12/2020 21:48

I actually am on the side of those who sympathise with were you are coming from OP.

I have seen a massive disparity in a gift exchange with a friend and DC this year, far larger than the example you've given. So much so that it has taken me aback.

I considered that it's a lesson I need to learn to be less generous, but the gift I received was so tight fisted that I just don't think I could ever be that mean

No I won't say what.