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Original poster

Is anyone else just right on the fking edge?

198 replies

asparagusspears · 22/12/2020 15:03

I can't be the only one on the actual verge of losing my shit altogether right now?

Why is everyone else so calm?

This stupid woman in Scotland is closing everything down again, putting my job at risk again, we all know for a lot longer than what they have said it will be, leaving kids trapped indoors with nothing to do in the darkest, wettest, coldest months of the year, money is already tight and my employer's patience is already thin on the ground, I am already working throughout the 'holiday' period, there have been no holidays this year, no breaks for any of us, I have two disabled parents who cannot do anything without me helping them to achieve it (example - my dad's television "isn't working" ie he's pressed the wrong button, so I need to go over there and fix it for him) my beloved dog is terminally ill, my OH is absolutely on my last nerve and all he cares about is our friends backing out of the new years party that had been planned, now he's pissed off he'll be stuck in with me, my MIL is an absolute arse from hell, and I have just had e-fucking-nough and it feels like I am the only one who is pissed off and angry and tearful?

Why is everyone else so shruggy and "oh well" and it's just what we have to do, and well that's 2020 for you and at least this, and at least that...?

Why is no one else ready to punch the next person they see???

OP posts:
CarlottaValdez · 22/12/2020 21:50

I’m pretty close to the edge I think. I feel so sad and flat and I’m constantly faking being ok to my family and boss and team. I banged my head this morning and then just cried for ages like is just needed the excuse. I’ve stopped enjoying anything. I think if I didn’t have a child I’d be thinking of ending things.

Nettleskeins · 22/12/2020 21:57

Someone was talking me today about how angry she felt and then I agreed with her about impact on teens young adults old people etc (loneliness). At which point she said, but why don't people realise they don't have to follow the rules? If they feel angry with the govt restrictions they should let people interact in their house, meet up with old people (who want to be met up with) and just stop being such pushovers. Do something for heaven's sake.

I'm v law abiding, I've followed all the rules but that made me "think". If we accept the restrictions we can hardly blame the govt for imposing them.

AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii · 22/12/2020 21:58

@MarshaBradyo.

www.thenational.scot/news/18963533.covid-19-variant-stay-home-advice-may-made-law-new-crackdown/

Not sure what this will actually mean but I don’t like the sound of it all the same

Nettleskeins · 22/12/2020 22:03

My DD meets friends at 2m outside, maybe sometimes she gets within Im of them.
Oh my goodness shock horror. I'm glad she does. It is why she is still sane and relatively cheerful. I'm still so dutiful that I warn her to see only one friend at a time.
But why am I even pushing this idiocy on her? Does it actually make the slightest difference if she meets one friend or two, outside in the freezing cold? Why haven't I let them into my garden? I'm not even sure. It is all a form of brainwashing.

MichelleScarn · 22/12/2020 22:06

@AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii

Just seen on the news that she is looking into making staying in your house LAW Shock WTF
From when?!!
Nettleskeins · 22/12/2020 22:08

Back in may I was not even letting my dog off the lead, in case he came into contact "with another person". Madness sheer madness. I wouldn't be bothered with that now. Sensible precautions are just that. Not complete subjugation to a crazy scheme of covid avoidance.

weddingplanning15 · 22/12/2020 22:11

Yes I am hanging on by a thread. I keep having panic attacks. I hate living like this and to be honest I'm not sure how much more I can take...

weddingplanning15 · 22/12/2020 22:13

Yes I am hanging on by a thread. The news that schools might close in January has tipped me over; if that happens I will probably lose my job, which I love and is perfect for me - school
Hours.
I keep having panic attacks. I hate living like this and to be honest I'm not sure how much more I can take...

AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii · 22/12/2020 22:13

@MichelleScarn it didn’t say but it’s in response to tightening level 4 restrictions even further

Nettleskeins · 22/12/2020 22:19

For example if schools close, parents should insist that they should be able to cobble together informal childcare arrangements, however many adults that involves. Still less than the adults and kids interacting in schools after all. If open air attractions and leisure facilities close, then families should take it into their own hands to have playdates with other households, other gardens than their own. If people feel strongly that the restrictions are inhumane then people should DO something. Grassroots.

Flyingin · 22/12/2020 22:22

Not in Scotland but first Christmas bubble burst. Mum angry we would no longer come round for xmas lunch as she had shed load of food in. Soldiered on with support bubble... went out, got loads of food in. Then informed that ds year has to isolate until after xmas. So now elderly relative on her own, I am on my own with two kids and can’t even take them out for those walks!! And I could manage all that if there wasn’t brexit, travel bans and the prospect of school closures. In tier four so not really able to see anyone outside of my support bubble unless I leave the children alone.

Nettleskeins · 22/12/2020 22:36

Check the "guidance" in gov UK. It isn't law that your son is having to self isolate, it is guidance. Follow this guidance to the "best of your ability but not all things are possible with children" to paraphrase what the GUIDANCE says. Take them for walks when no one is around. Have they been contact traced? No.

sugarlost · 22/12/2020 22:36

All of this crap makes me fill numb...
When the highlight of the day is going to the supermarket and hopefully a nice interaction with a stranger... you know it's bad!
Scary how our freedoms have been taken away.. it's like a horror movie...life doesn't seem real anymore!
Not knowing when I'm going to see friends or family next too... but you know what I'll go for a walk...by myself..lol

SwankySharky · 22/12/2020 22:39

Over the fucking cliff and about ten feet under the ocean.

I have cracked recently. Getting support etc. but I don't think I will ever be the person I was a few weeks ago again.

GachaBread · 22/12/2020 22:42

It's dire and everyone is struggling. I allowed my ex partner to move back in, spent years trying to escape the abuse and after 8 months of being free I've cracked and let him back into my life. Anything to not be alone, to have adult company, for help with the kids, housework, money etc. This virus has fucked over so many including me. I'm smoking the fags again, drinking more then I should and feel that I'll be on the happy pills in next to know time and I know within a week that tier 4 is on the way to Brum. When will it all end?

Tempnamelady · 22/12/2020 22:42

Tier 3 NW here so not really been out anywhere for months.DH is used to going out 3-4 night a weeks so is miserable .Things been pretty rubbish this year , this time last year we cancelled a city break due to his MH, we’ve had ongoing problems this year and to be honest I’m done with it after 23 years.But he’s saying all sorts of things about things changing . I work from home long hours and I can’t bear the fact we are all on top of each other all the time, adult DH studying from home and his girlfriend has been staying since 1st lockdown .

I turn 50 early next year and likely to be no celebrations.

I had Covid in March and still have no smell and taste , which doesn’t seem to be getting any better.

If we lockdown and they close my gym , that will be the final straw.

I’m usually a very optimistic person but I am struggling at the moment.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 22/12/2020 22:51

I'm irritable, which probably means I'm more stressed and worn down than I would like to admit.

I know what you mean about everyone else seeming to be fine with it all. But I suppose on the outside I'm doing fine and shrugging it all off cheerfully, while on the inside I'm shouting "Oh for FUCKS sake, what NOW!?"

plominoagain · 22/12/2020 22:59

I thought I was doing pretty ok - hospital appointment for a virtual colonoscopy booked for today , got the letter six weeks ago , had all this week organised , get that done , food shop organised , work for two nights and off , sorted . 4.30pm yesterday , get pinged by the track and trace app . Ended up laughing hysterically and on the verge of tears on the phone to the radiology department to cancel - not helped by not being able to eat for 24 hours . I’m normally really stoic , but not yesterday .

sugarlost · 22/12/2020 23:01

If someone asks how I am I just say I'm ok when I'm not but can't be asked to go into it because I don't want words of sympathy. I want friends that are available to meet but apart from one I occasionally see everyone is happy in their family or partner bubble world with no intention of meeting anytime soon as they aren't living by themselves.
Other friends that would meet live too far away....

Isesgirl · 22/12/2020 23:18

Another one here that's almost done in. I can't even be bothered to list all the shit this virus has caused my family but we will never be the same again.

I keep going for my children but admit that if they weren't here there's a strong chance I might not be either.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 22/12/2020 23:19

Actually, thinking about this, what is bothering me really is the sense of time passing. A year without seeing my elderly parents...twenty percent of my DS's life...

Normally at the end of a year I am conscious of another year gone, but I feel the time has been well spent. I can't say I feel that way this year.

KylieKangaroo · 22/12/2020 23:36

Agree with everyone it's just shit, am having another baby in April and dreading being at home even more. Am missing silly things like getting the train to work and listening to my music, or reading the free newspaper when it wasn't about covid.

MichelleScarn · 22/12/2020 23:39

@AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii thanks, I'm properly on the edge. I feel am turning into a broken droid- fine for me to mask, sheild and other ppe up and spend all day in hospital environment but nothing else, that's my life now, and any slight word of how difficult this is or impact on our dc for all this and you get shrieked 'STAY THE FUCK AT HOME' 'THIS IS NOTHING!, IM FINE WITH IT' by people who I'm now very sure don't actually have to do anything to maintain any form of income.

MercyBooth · 22/12/2020 23:43

@Chanandlerbong01 I expect to see vids of police on Twitter on Christmas Day because of getting it wrong about support bubbles.

Happening already according to this.

twitter.com/BeenDunOver/status/1341343976259989505?s=20

maggienolia · 23/12/2020 00:10

Anyone remember those programmes where a modern family were transported to Victorian times and had all manner of crap stuff to experience?
They knew that they could be pulled out if it got too much.
I just wish that we could be pulled out too.
Even swearing at Boris is losing its appeal.