Is anyone else just right on the fking edge?

[asparagusspears]

I can't be the only one on the actual verge of losing my shit altogether right now?

Why is everyone else so calm?

This stupid woman in Scotland is closing everything down again, putting my job at risk again, we all know for a lot longer than what they have said it will be, leaving kids trapped indoors with nothing to do in the darkest, wettest, coldest months of the year, money is already tight and my employer's patience is already thin on the ground, I am already working throughout the 'holiday' period, there have been no holidays this year, no breaks for any of us, I have two disabled parents who cannot do anything without me helping them to achieve it (example - my dad's television "isn't working" ie he's pressed the wrong button, so I need to go over there and fix it for him) my beloved dog is terminally ill, my OH is absolutely on my last nerve and all he cares about is our friends backing out of the new years party that had been planned, now he's pissed off he'll be stuck in with me, my MIL is an absolute arse from hell, and I have just had e-fucking-nough and it feels like I am the only one who is pissed off and angry and tearful?

Why is everyone else so shruggy and "oh well" and it's just what we have to do, and well that's 2020 for you and at least this, and at least that...?

Why is no one else ready to punch the next person they see???

Drink plentry of water, get your sleep patterns nailed and eat lots of good vegetables, you should start to feel the calmness again.

Yep I'm sure chomping on some kale will make everything better

😆 I’m doing everything that @Thewiseoneincognito has suggested and I still feel flat. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because I’m not drinking enough alcohol with my water. I’m also going to start this ...“Fuck everything and everybody”. Namaste 😈😇🤘

I’ll join you all in the fed up club. Normally I am cheerful and positive but this is grinding me down. I’ve done all the lovely walks and new hobbies and Zoom quizzes, frankly if I never see a Zoom call again I’ll be fucking grateful. I’ve drunk my water and eaten my veggies and guess what? The fucking virus is still spreading, I’m still worried about my job and our finances are screwed. I think my new hobby should be an active one: drop kicking anyone who comes out with glib platitudes right into the orbit of Jupiter. Pass some elixir, please. 🍷

I want to join the fed up club too!

This has been such a shit year. It doesn't help that 2019 was one of my best years.

I have nothing to look forward to in 2021

I just looked at the date after the username and I see today is my birthday I really have lost track of time!

Not the only one. I am not happy at all

@Vintagevixen

You're not the only one, I am raging.

But unfortunately someone will be on soon with the "but at least you're alive/not suffering from long Covid/count your blessings " nonsense.

I AM suffering long covid and as far as I'm concerned, moan away.

I DO do plenty to keep myself positive, but I'm sick to death of having to babysit my mental health, sick to death of eating in my own kitchen every day, and sick to death of not seeing my friends and family.

And this is coming from someone who largely likes wfh etc.

I had my COVID meltdown earlier on this year - and I think we are absolutely 100% justified in feeling on the edge with all of it, at the moment. I also think it does no good to bottle it all up - we need to find a way to cope, and naming the problem is the first step in that.

One thing I found that really helped, when I was in the darkest place, was to stop reading or watching anything about COVID. For a week or more I stopped watching the news altogether, and I flipped past all the wall to wall coverage in the paper too - and I binge watched The Tudors instead. Lots of lovely costumes, Jonathon Rhys-Myers brooding beautifully, and anachronistic Tudor rumpy-pumpy. It helped.

We lost one of our beloved dogs early in January, and we knew over Christmas that she only had days, maybe weeks left, so you have all my sympathy for that, @asparagusspears - it is utterly horrible.

I wish there was more I could do to help all of you who are on the edge right now. I’m not there at the moment, but I do know I may well end up there again - and in the meantime, I am here and happy to listen, if any of you need a shoulder to cry on.

I am fairly introverted and thrive in my own company but even I am done with this all.

It’s not just covid, it’s brexit too, and just how shit people are to each other. Constant one upping. You see it on here all the time and I try to call it out when I do see it because it’s shitty behaviour.

Covid also seems to have continued exposing just how uninformed/ignorant people can be whilst proclaiming they are right. Sick of social media and all the twats on it.

I want to go out. Not out out, but just go somewhere new and explore, or visit my mum for a good chat, or see my gorgeous nieces and nephews.

Yep, I'm massively fucked off with everything and pretty much everyone around me. 2020 is just wank..... that's it, just wank. No other words.

The people who spout well-meaning phrases are often saying it for themselves as much as, if not more, for the other person.

I think venting is healthy. You should all really go for it.

I'm a nothing. Not happy, not sad. Just bumbling along.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Favourite lines of poem, meant for a completely different context but could be used here.

Rage. RAGE!

I think the combination of Christmas, Covid, now the UK being 'banished' from the EU days before Brexit because of contagious disease is a bit much.
The news says floods are coming too, at Christmas. You couldn't make it up.
The grinch is here.

Moan away. I am listening and sympathetic. Things are beyond shit just now.

Where I work, Covid deniers come in all the time moaning about the government ruining people’s lives - while picking up their free travel pass provided by the same government. You have got to laugh. Hollowly.

Here is another shitty phrase that doesn't help:

"Don't take it personally"

No shit Sherlock. I know I am not being personally persecuted by BoJo or COVID-19 and that the rules weren't thought of with my personal situation in mind.

But I am living my own personal situation just like everyone else. And that is personal to me and I am as a person, upset, disappointed, concerned.

(We all are of course, but the phrase does not help!)

Yes. I feel like this hell will never end now. I hugely resent the sacrifices we - and our poor children - have been forced to make to “save” some utterly unquantifiable number of lives. It’s complete madness: Never has so much damage been inflicted on so many to save so few. I find I care less and less tbh.

I just want to strangle that fucking git Boris Johnson myself.

It won't be for ever, people keep saying. I'll believe that when it happens. I haven't forgotten the endlessly moving goalposts:
"Just three weeks to flatten the curve."
"We can turn this virus around in twelve weeks."
"Normal by September."
"Normalish by Christmas."
"It would be inhumane to cancel Christmas."
"Significant normality by Easter."
What then? "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease be patient, just another two years of ruin to the economy, and your mental health..."

It just feels like we will never be free of this shit. Even the vaccine does not feel like good news; it means that learning to live alongside the virus is now an unacceptable goal. Saint Boris seems to have made it his personal mission (just like he did with "get Bwexit done") to bring about zero Covid, and he doesn't care at all what he destroys in the the process.

Fucking hell, please don't ever volunteer for the Samaritans

Like OP I'm at the end of my tether, Im caring for my elderly mum with dementia who keeps getting UTIs which send her bonkers, a job which I hate which takes up 10 hours of my day 5 days a week, and my ds got taken into hospital by ambulance today, but it's good to know that it'll all be solved by a brisk walk in the country and a new fucking hobby, if only I stop wallowing.

@WentworthPrison

What's the point in wallowing in this misery. You need to adapt what life is like now and make the most of it: lovely walks, new Covid friendly hobbies, new years drinks/party on Zoom etc. It's not going to last forever and you need to get over it really. Sorry to be blunt but you're making yourself miserable.

my post was directed at this but the quote went missing.... 🤷‍♀️

I've had enough too, I don't believe a word that anyone in authority says because it's all been shit so far, If they don't know how long something will last for, just say. Don't go giving people false hopes that will then be dashed.
A couple of weeks ago we were ecstatic at the vaccine. Now we're back to square one with nothing to look forward to.
Happy New Year my arse - it will be bloody misery

Just seen on the news that she is looking into making staying in your house LAW WTF

I get that this is hard for a lot of people, but I won't really know it in a deeply felt way because it isn't my experience. This creates a divide amongst us.

I am done. Utterly done. I've worked all through this horror show, I've got a vulnerable grandma and uncle in the house so during the first lockdown, as it started easing we were still shut away. Then, I got my sport back, things were OK, my mental health improved. Then the 2nd lockdown, now I've been back training (disability sport rules mean I can train in tier 3) and my area is potentially going into tier 4. EVERY TIME I dare to hope we're coming through this, something else rips it away. I went from March to August without leaving the house and the selfishness of other people is dragging this hell out even longer.

A friend of mine said it feels like we are suffocating. I totally understood what she meant. Although I'm trying to enjoy life as best I can and have a great family and support network I do sometimes feel I can't breathe. I know that's anxiety but I am starting to feel claustrophobic. I'm not bothered about pubs or eating out again if I could just see and hug those I love. I broke the rules and took my mum to Tesco this evening as they tried to go this afternoon but they couldn't get a space. My dad has cataracts and is nervous of driving in the dark so I took mum down at 5pm so she could food shop. It felt so so sad and totally unnatural to be thinking this is against the rules. I've followed the rules to the letter but even I feel like just seeing my parents when I want to. I'm their only child after my brothers murder years ago and now dad's retired he only sees people when hes walking the dog. I want my life back.

@AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii

Just seen on the news that she is looking into making staying in your house LAW WTF

Can you say more? What does that mean

It’s so bizarre right now

I feel fully in movie zone where they get jittery that the virus has mutated

My mum and sister live in an area that have gone into tier 4. We were meant to be seeing them over Xmas bubble time. Obviously that’s all gone to shit. My mum is on her own so thankfully they’ve bubbled up but they’re 150 miles away so I can’t even do a socially distanced walk. I’m so done.
I work in a school and all I hear from the kids is ‘I’m going on a play date and I’m having a sleepover’ which makes me wonder wtf I’m doing following the rules for.
I’m so done I can’t describe , I miss human bloody contact (not my kids or husband, had my fill of them) and then all I get is my husband bitching for sex and then sulking when he doesn’t get it. Funnily enough nothing right now gets me in the mood. Feeling sad/anxious/worried all the time is like that but he doesn’t seem to get it and thinks I should be fine.
Well I’m not. I’m so not fine at all. Yes I’m
Sure I sound horrible, my kids and husband tell me often enough that I am so I must be I suppose.