Is anyone else just right on the fking edge?

[asparagusspears]

I can't be the only one on the actual verge of losing my shit altogether right now?

Why is everyone else so calm?

This stupid woman in Scotland is closing everything down again, putting my job at risk again, we all know for a lot longer than what they have said it will be, leaving kids trapped indoors with nothing to do in the darkest, wettest, coldest months of the year, money is already tight and my employer's patience is already thin on the ground, I am already working throughout the 'holiday' period, there have been no holidays this year, no breaks for any of us, I have two disabled parents who cannot do anything without me helping them to achieve it (example - my dad's television "isn't working" ie he's pressed the wrong button, so I need to go over there and fix it for him) my beloved dog is terminally ill, my OH is absolutely on my last nerve and all he cares about is our friends backing out of the new years party that had been planned, now he's pissed off he'll be stuck in with me, my MIL is an absolute arse from hell, and I have just had e-fucking-nough and it feels like I am the only one who is pissed off and angry and tearful?

Why is everyone else so shruggy and "oh well" and it's just what we have to do, and well that's 2020 for you and at least this, and at least that...?

Why is no one else ready to punch the next person they see???

Currently in my bedroom hiding from family. I love them but I really need my space. DD and son-in-law were coming for a couple of days over Christmas, great, but after the tier 4 announcement on Saturday they jumped in the car and arrived 3 hours later. They have a 5 week old baby so we are now 'bubbled' for the foreseeable. They also have a toddler and 2 crazy dogs. My house is trashed, the washing machine is exhausted, my dog is seriously depressed and the baby keeps us all awake at night. I have spent 2 days waiting on everyone hand and foot, walking dogs, entertaining granddaughter, cooking and cleaning. I'm too old for this. Just watching the clock until 6pm to open the vodka.

I think it’s healthy to feel how you feel. I’m careful not to offload my thoughts onto others who are in shit situations too, so my friends probably think I’m fine, enjoying walks with the kids, baking and doing crafts. They don’t know how I am hanging on by my fingernails right now. I honestly think being a pessimist has helped me this year too. I knew it was going to be shit as soon as February arrived and I’ve never once believed any timescale predictions the government have given so far so I haven’t been completely and utterly crushed...

@QuietlyExcited I feel your pain! If it makes you feel any better it’s just the two of us this year. No family over, no animals, no chaos. It’s bliss. I’d do the same next year if I were you!

@Thewiseoneincognito I really think you need to read what people on this thread are writing and think again about whether water and vegetables are really the answer. You could not sound more patronising or sanctimonious if you tried.

O. P I'm angry and sad. I rang my mum and told her I'm gutted we can't meet but I've got no platitudes and cannot offer anything. She is trying to stay positive. We're angry at different people so I cannot vent to her (will never ever agree).
So many are revelling in the gloom, on about "the rules" with a worrying fervour. Sad. The media are salivating at all the bad news. I'm done.
The NHS has been unable to cope for decades. It's supposed to protect us, not the other way around.
My Y9 has missed so much education and will be missing the first week of Jan for home schooling... Yeah right, that's been diabolical so far. Out of 12 weeks she's been out for 7 weeks. Covid cases, s. I, teachers s. I etc.
I'm walking loads. My roots are black. I've put on weight. I hate people and even grumble if I see someone on my side of the road. Ugh. But I was like this before...
No I don't feel the love and no I don't feel bad about that. Sick of those saying chin up 🙄

WentworthPrison
Thewiseoneincognito

Do you realise how patronising and utterly clueless you two sound??

Im totally feeling you today op.

Im so annoyed today because someone's said to me "well, we're all in the same boat aren't we"

Of course the perfect way to respond to someone who is down is to throw a shitty fucking metaphor at them.

Yes it has been a shit year for most people. I actually stayed upbeat most of the time and spent my time listening to others complaining. Now I am on a down day and apparently everyone is miserable now so no room at the inn and i should just cheer the fuck up and be grateful for what i have.

Gin. Gin always listens.
(half joking)

[quote Thewiseoneincognito]@NorbertMeubles water is life’s elixir. It is proven to lift your mood. An excellent diet will also help to balance hormone levels. It’s fact.[/quote]
This has made me laugh a genuine laugh of delight. Life's elixir is spectacular nonsense and I am seriously tickled. I am sure you didn't mean it this way, Incognito, but you have cheered me to no end, so thank you.

I think everyone seems to be on the edge. I have noticed more road rage and people being angry in stores. There was a little old lady having a good cry outside Morrisons the other day. No one could comfort her.

Im better when I get out daily walking, exercise at home and talk to friends

You asked for it OP... Yes I am on the edge and pray for a large meteorite strike every day. Humans are a vile species, not worth the oxygen they breathe.

Life was hard enough for a lot of people even before millions of stupid fuckers voted in a person so unfit for office it's frightening, thanks to our 19th-century voting system that too few people bother to understand, to grasp the need to change it.

My daughter's education has been destroyed, thanks to the self-aggrandizing, totally incompetent mates of the shambolic Eton tosspot. I don't know what to tell my kids any more.

Life is not worth living at the moment. We are all in an absolute mess, some of us with no way out, coerced into taking a vaccine of a new, unknown variety with a shorter, not longer, regulatory process. We are supposed to trust these self-styled govt advisers, with their shares in vaccine companies??

Environmental disaster fast approaching. Third runway at Heathrow can now seek planning permission, says it all... Still, let's keep lying to ourselves and faking it by pretending that humans have learned something from centuries of violence, war, rape and plundering the Earth's resources, for the sake of the children we were all idiotic enough to bring onto a planet now hurtling towards destruction.

My daughter's education has been destroyed, thanks to the self-aggrandizing, totally incompetent mates of the shambolic Eton tosspot. I don't know what to tell my kids any more.

Mine too. She’s nearly 17 and dreamed of becoming a doctor. Except the utter fucking shambles of exams left her with nowhere near the grades. She’s the type that does ok ish in prelims and nails it in exams. She never got the chance this time.
She ended up in a mental health facility in September. I’m heartbroken for her and her peers.

Oh @DownstairsMixUp - I'm so sorry. 💐

I was fairly laid back about it all to begin with, never expected much improvement before the end of next year so just hunkered down and got on with it.

Over the last few weeks it's been like wading through treacle. I am so, so sick of the whole fucking thing. There are some very specific things bothering me that make me feel really pathetic and shallow, and I'm worried about my family...dad dying, mum struggling, DD in GCSE year.

Honestly I think it will get worse before it gets better, but it will get better and it's just a case of trying to find ways to manage it in the meantime.

How we do that I have no fucking clue.

@Chanandlerbong01

I’ve just seen a really goady Facebook post by North Yorkshire Police, (who have been massively overstepping their authority) blaming all ills on “Tier 3 residents”.

Is that about people going to York? I know a few people that have been going a couple of times a week for nights out in a mini bus - this is how it spreads! My niece being one of them! Whereas my sister works in intensive care and is genuinely concerned they don’t have enough staff for an increase in patients.

My sister's boyfriend (never met him as I'm NC with my sister) has been doing this. Travelling from tier 3 to tier 2 just to go to the pub. No idea how he gets home again as they live in Yorkshire somewhere and sister doesn't drive.

They were supposed to go to my mother for Christmas. She's getting increasingly paranoid about the virus (very overweight and many health issues) and found out about the pub visits. She's told them they're no longer welcome. Good for her!

To anyone suggesting water and a healthy diet, fuck off

I think it's very important to be able to complain, no matter how trivial our complaints may seem to others. Telling my son about the lorry drivers in the Dover queue isn't going to make him feel better about his lost job/college course/Christmas plans/future. My job is to let him have a bit of a moan about it and just be sympathetic.

It would be nice if people could do a bit of understanding listening on here instead of doing the Covid-misery-top-trumps where no-one is allowed to complain without being told to buck up and count their blessings

I’ll join the had enough club me and DP worked all through this and was looking forward to some time off to go for a lunch or take the dog somewhere other than round the block but I’m in Scotland so I dread to think what further horrors Sturgeon has in store for us . First Christmas we are having where all my grandparents have now passed away as my grandpa died last month . There is nothing to look forward to I hate outdoors especially where I live it’s muddy dark and cold . Not one person on my social media even seems to be moaning about it all I keep seeing are patronising posts about how it’s not 1914 and we could be back there and in a trench as though that helps anyone ! Two of my friends are unbearable about The ROOLZ and lap up everything Sturgeon does and I’m finding it so hard not to just stop talking to them . It’s just shite !

I've cracked and poured myself a large glass of -elixir of life-- water to drown my sorrows. I can confirm it doesn't work.

I had another email today advising me to shield again until the 18th Jan. Well I fucking can't because I have to work to, you know, pay the fucking bills. 16 year old DS is literally on my last fucking nerve because all he does is complain there's no food in the house when there is plenty it's just not all chocolate and shit which is all he seems to want to eat these days. I'm surprised he's not got bloody rickets.

@smileyclare I have cracked open the true elixae of life

Wine.

[quote Thewiseoneincognito]@QuietlyExcited I feel your pain! If it makes you feel any better it’s just the two of us this year. No family over, no animals, no chaos. It’s bliss. I’d do the same next year if I were you![/quote]

@Thewiseoneincognito - not sure your post would make her feel better.

"Oh my god, my house is chaos, in wrung out looking after people already and it's endless"

You: "if it makes you feel any better, my house is a chilled. Zen haven of peace and calm".

I'm not entirely sure empathy is your thing, WiseOne (time for a new user name, perhaps?).

@MacDuffsMuff

I had another email today advising me to shield again until the 18th Jan. Well I fucking can't because I have to work to, you know, pay the fucking bills. 16 year old DS is literally on my last fucking nerve because all he does is complain there's no food in the house when there is plenty it's just not all chocolate and shit which is all he seems to want to eat these days. I'm surprised he's not got bloody rickets.

@MacDuffsMuff please tell him to eat good vegetables and drink plenty of Elixir of Life. He will soon see the error of his ways.

[quote Sideorderofchips]@smileyclare I have cracked open the true elixae of life

Wine.[/quote]

Something tipped me over the edge today and I've been crying this afternoon, with despair. I feel like I'm shutting down. I've been ok-ish most of the time throughout the whole 9 months, being as philosophical as I can be and used to a lot of shit in my life. But in the back of my head have been constantly worried about seeing a GP about a problem I have which flares up now and then [don't want tests in hospital which the next step], and if my teeth are going to play up before I can get a check up.

A family member is struggling with this, he's 13. My heart goes out to him. My son is starting to worry as his work is tailing off, and panicking about money. No one I know phones me [well, 2 phone calls in 9 months] because as usual it's me doing any calls to support them. All of these people are in a couple, living together. I live on my own and rarely see anyone.

Been invited to one son's for Christmas dinner but they've also invited 4 other people too and I have no idea where they've been, who with or how they've followed guidelines. One is a constant shopper, 2 of them work with people. It also involves an unknown period of time in what is a small space and there as dinner is always late no matter what time is agreed! I'm not going, it isn't worth it.

It's always good to vent, to talk, to be honest, to express feelings so everyone here has their story and are entitled to rage against the sheer madness of life on this planet. Madness lies in denial and pretence, shoving feelings away and feeling superior.

I'm sick to death seeing plastic, pollution, melting ice caps, hungry children, abused children, women and animals, traffic, greed, ruined habitats, war, and suffering in this world. I'm so nearly done.