Is anyone else just right on the fking edge?

[asparagusspears]

I can't be the only one on the actual verge of losing my shit altogether right now?

Why is everyone else so calm?

This stupid woman in Scotland is closing everything down again, putting my job at risk again, we all know for a lot longer than what they have said it will be, leaving kids trapped indoors with nothing to do in the darkest, wettest, coldest months of the year, money is already tight and my employer's patience is already thin on the ground, I am already working throughout the 'holiday' period, there have been no holidays this year, no breaks for any of us, I have two disabled parents who cannot do anything without me helping them to achieve it (example - my dad's television "isn't working" ie he's pressed the wrong button, so I need to go over there and fix it for him) my beloved dog is terminally ill, my OH is absolutely on my last nerve and all he cares about is our friends backing out of the new years party that had been planned, now he's pissed off he'll be stuck in with me, my MIL is an absolute arse from hell, and I have just had e-fucking-nough and it feels like I am the only one who is pissed off and angry and tearful?

Why is everyone else so shruggy and "oh well" and it's just what we have to do, and well that's 2020 for you and at least this, and at least that...?

Why is no one else ready to punch the next person they see???

@cocopops really sorry to hear that, must be really hard for you , that truly sucks

Well yeah. My sister has been sectioned twice this year, and is on her knees MH healtb wise...the worry is just unreal... today I found out my hip replacement has failed. I’m 42 and looking at it for a second time. I cannot stop crying.

I keep getting sleepy, trying to do daily activities is a struggle. whatever. it sucks. sorry I will try and not bring people down, I like MN as it gives me people to talk to for support and perspective and sometimes even sympathy.sometimes I can do the same for others, its give and take
I'm guessing I'm not unique in this.

I'm fed up of life

Covid
Not being able to go and see my parents in the UK

The only man I've ever loved having an affair with my supposed best mate who wedged herself between us

My kids being devastated that this Christmas is so different

My mental health being in my boots.

@TheAirbender jeez that sounds dire.

@WentworthPrison

What's the point in wallowing in this misery. You need to adapt what life is like now and make the most of it: lovely walks, new Covid friendly hobbies, new years drinks/party on Zoom etc. It's not going to last forever and you need to get over it really. Sorry to be blunt but you're making yourself miserable.

Jesus Christ I am fed up with this trite, twee, sanctimonious bullshit. People have been doing this stuff for months - it’s not as if you’re the only one to have thought of it. We are ALLOWED to be utterly pissed off and fed up without yet another bloody Pollyanna suggesting we go for a ‘lovely walk’ or take up a new hobby.

Haha. That's the first time I've been called Pollyanna!
I just dont see the point in wallowing. If you want to though, that's your call.

@Sideorderofchips blimey how flipping awful. ....

I am hanging on by a very fraying thread this week.

On a positive note, I have 15 bottles of wine to get me through this Christmas clusterfuck

@WentworthPrison sometimes a "wallow" is allowed. its also honest. if you stay in the doldrums for ever obv it's sad and not good, but without facing up to your reality first its hard to re-group

🤗🤗🤗 feel your frustrations.
I have had enough too. Working and caring for elderly parents is stressful. Especially when they call you multiple times a day about minor matters. Plus i have teens, 1 has asd. An abusive exh and I do free childcare for family member.

Totally get where you are coming from 🤗🤗

I've been keeping my chin up, supporting my OH and children, working, all the usual stuff for months. Tier 4 announcement on Saturday means my eldest can't come home for Christmas and I've been a crying mess, realise I have reached my line in the sand. I'm mindful that this is nothing compared to what so many people are suffering, but I don't think I'm alone in reaching my limit and I sympathise with you OP.

What would your solution be? It's easy to criticise, but do you have a better idea?

@asparagusspears and - I'm so sorry. Life is shit just now, you're right, and you are entitled to have a rant if you want one!!

@TheoriginalLEM - I'm so sorry for your loss. 💐

Yeah it's fucking shit isn't it.

Thanks @stovetopespresso I'm reaching critical fairly quickly and just trying to keep everything as normal as possible for the kids. Normally I'm full on Christmas lover. Now I just want it over and done with and everything to just stop.

I hear you op, last night I got into bed and burst out crying! Couldn't explain why to dp! Everything just so depressing!
No dp is mad because I cant explain my emotional outburst, how can I explain it when I'm not sure myself?

An accumulation of the whole year I think! I feel so alone at 100% at breaking point! Youre not alone!

I don’t think it’s wallowing to recognise how hard it is for folk for all different reasons, I had a bit of a cry and a tantrum over the weekend at the thought of the shit show that is remote learning/homeschooling. I’ve then reorganised my work to try and accommodate the kids being home, it’s hard though for lots of reasons and I’m genuinely worried about the impact on my kids.

I’m allowed to have my feelings about it without the pop-psychology bollocks brigade telling me to get a hobby.

If one more person says 'it is what it is, we just have to weather it' l will scream. Id be really interested to know the income source of all the 'isn't this so lovely, with the isolation and lack of activities' I doubt it'll be the self employed, long term furloughed on reduced income, whos on the way to losing their home and livelihood.

I'm the same, doing anything around the house feels monumental. Everything feels so slow and endless and grim.

Yanbu. It's horrible and I just want to go out and do something fun without having to wear a mask or worry about how I will look after my disabled children if I get covid. I desperately need to lose weight to bring my covid risk down but I just end up eating chocolate again because it's one of the few nice things we are still able to do.

But things ARE shit. Why are we not allowed to use an anonymous Internet forum to wallow? Why do we have to pretend everything’s fine and take up bloody macrame or something? I don’t want a new hobby; I want to do my old hobby of choral singing, which is apparently now tantamount to murder. I don’t want to organise a zoom meet up; I want to see my family in real life, including my sister and niece whom I haven’t seen for a year. I want not to have to worry about schools shutting again when it was so damaging to my child last time. I am allowed to voice this without being told I’m ‘wallowing’.

if this goes on much longer i will probably lose two jobs as one is hospitality and the other is fundraising for a small cat charity and im due to retire (have to work till 66) in 20 months time if i lose both my jobs i will have no income whatsoever as my other halfs pension is above UC level so if this goes on i will be royaly shafted, no money and at 64 no chance of getting another job, yes im fed up with being at home but at the moment due to furlough schem i have some money coming in, i wake up each day that means m alive, i have a roof over my head and i have food in the cupboards so am taking the be grateful for what i do have not what i could have

Honestly I just think sturgeon and drakeford like the power

Same here -you are not alone. I am always cheerful, positive, upbeat, DH crossly calls me ‘Pollyanna’ but I am tearful at the monent . Met up with two friends this morning for a walk (yes, one more than us allowed where I am, fuck it) and felt much better afterwards but conscious that many people can’t have contact like that.