Fuckkkkkkkk, I told DD the naughty kids get the headteacher awards and then she went and told the other kids 😬

[Allwhiteeverythin]

School run is going to be fun today ffs

DD came out of school last Friday upset the same kid had the award for the 3rd time this term. She’s had it once since reception. I lost my temper a bit and just said “oh did they just give it to the naughty kids to make them feel better you already know how to behave” .

Which she then repeated to the other kids at school yesterday . Teacher told me after school and said she hadn’t realised this kid had had it 3 times (naughtiest kid in the class obvs).

They’re going to go home and tell their parents aren’t they?

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

They have never earned a writer of the week between the pair of them though. That seems to circulate around the same core who have the luck not to be very dyslexic.

Have you seen their writing to verify this or are you just making assumptions?

Years of sitting in family assembly seeing who gets the awards each week. Having the children in my Brownie and Beaver packs and seeing what they can produce. Seeing the work on the walls when I help out in school 3x per week (pre-Covid). Running the dyslexia intervention also gave me a good idea of who has dyslexic tendencies!

Yes I know what standard Writer of the Week is (and yes, it's very good). It's just a shame that it doesn't sometimes reward the efforts of the middle, forgotten third or those struggling with literacy difficulties when they've had a better than usual week and produced a good for them piece. It really does become obvious by the time you have a y5 and y3 and see it played through the years.

At least the Star of the Week circles through more fairly and picks a child for a strength. All children deserve recognition for their efforts and the bias shouldn't swing too far either way.

@Allwhiteeverythin I don’t expect them to overcome ineffectual parenting in that time that’s good because with you undermining their efforts to reward good behaviour and model doing that to their parents that would be a little unfair wouldn’t.
Your kids sound nice though, perhaps some of that comes from learning to include disadvantaged members of society?

Quiet, well behaved hard working kids are generally ignored at our primary school too. The heads are falling over themselves to be "inclusive", at the expense of average kids.

Your kids go to a seriously fucked up school if awards are done like that....

My DS's secondary must be seriously fucked up then because they do a day trip to a theme park etc at the end of the year for the little shits 'improved behaviour' kids. Improved behaviour being little Ronnie has only punched 10 people this term rather than his usual 20.
The pupils who have behaved nicely from day one get a big fat nothing.

HA! I think it's great that it got back to the teacher, @Allwhiteeverythin. I wouldn't be sorry either.

I hate this star of the week shite. My kids' school does it and they've all won it a handful of times over the years so it's not like I have a personal vendetta because my kids get left out but I bloody hate it!

A teacher friend once told me how she gave important jobs (Xmas play etc) to the shittiest little shits because it gave them something to focus on and kept them in line.

I could understand why and she's a great teacher but I couldn't help but think how unfair it is to the other kids.

It is rewarding bad behaviour even if there's a valid reason for it. And while an adult might understand the rationale, how can a kid be expected to?

I think you missed the point. I was talking about the validation of their achievements that many children get from outside school which supports their confidence and wellbeing . If “middle of the road” children are “largely ignored” and don’t do stuff outside school which leads to certificates and other awards then that is down to their parents, not their teachers.

I think you miss the point. Middle of the road children generally don't get acknowledged inside or outside of school. The only way to do that is to be outstandingly brilliant, or be really naughty. Whilst some kids do have additional issues, other kids are just a product of poor parenting and dicipline. Do you think other kids should be ignored because the teaching time is taken up with classroom management.Do you think these parents should have a free pass / excuse? Their poor parenting skills impacting on everyone else around them? (And again, I'm NOT talking about special needs, I'm talking about shit parenting). And those people know whom I'm talking about. Some of them right here on this thread.

And aside from that, not everyone has the money to spend on loads of activities outside of school anyway. 🙄
I expect children to be treated equally in school. Acknowledged and noticed. Not just ignored or used as a stand in TA to help with classroom management. Your lack of logic is astounding.

Weeks before my dd's assembly outburst, she'd begged the teacher to move a child from next to her who she was informally ta'ing. The teacher was most put out when she said, if my brother did this mum would try and put a stop to it to protect us.

This was how I became aware as she didn't want to tell me because she was confused, guilty and more. She was only around 9/10 at the time. She did enjoy spending time with him, helping him with him work etc. And as much as she was considerate and understood the whys, she also had her limits. She was never rewarded for putting up with all the negative stuff.

This is someone who even now as an adult is NT. As a child and beyond he's been tested for everything. Unfortunately the parents were forever screaming its not his fault, he's waiting for whatever assessment to come through. And the outrage at the professionals suggesting parenting classes, was met with what do they know (THey live near and they aren't quiet)

I wouldn't worry. A child came out of year one near me last week and said 'little Bobby's been naughty'
And the very posh mum said 'I'm not surprised, his mums rough as fuck'😳
Not the same but mums say all kinds of things lol

@Whatwouldscullydo

Love how everyone just assumes you don't want the kids to ever get the rewards as opposed to just wishing your kid wasn't invisible occasionally..

Are you suggesting you cant have both?

^^ This

It should be possible for the struggling child to get prizes and the rest of the class to also get recognition. If that means Johnny gets 3 in the time that Jack gets 1 then that is fine. It's when Johnny gets 3 and Jack doesn't get one for the rest of the year that it's unfair. The children in the middle might not have the same problems as Johnny but most are trying at something so deserve recognition even if it's not at the same frequency of Johnny.

I think you miss the point. Middle of the road children generally don't get acknowledged inside or outside of school. The only way to do that is to be outstandingly brilliant, or be really naughty. Whilst some kids do have additional issues, other kids are just a product of poor parenting and dicipline. Do you think other kids should be ignored because the teaching time is taken up with classroom management.Do you think these parents should have a free pass / excuse? Their poor parenting skills impacting on everyone else around them? (And again, I'm NOT talking about special needs, I'm talking about shit parenting). And those people know whom I'm talking about. Some of them right here on this thread.

If the teacher is unobservant and crap perhaps.

A good teacher will have insight and exercise appropriate judgement and skill.

I'm another one who worked this out when I was in school. Fred disrupted the education of 29 kids throughout the year but on weeks when he didn't throw a chair at someone's head, he got an award. The kids who tried hard and got middling marks never got anything.

I got a load of awards in secondary school for high marks that I barely had to work for and didn't value. My friends who tried hard and got middling marks never got anything.

Who on earth do these awards actually motivate? As far as I can see they made everyone resentful.

Apologise for what. It’s the universal truth!

@Allwhiteeverythin

School run is going to be fun today ffs

DD came out of school last Friday upset the same kid had the award for the 3rd time this term. She’s had it once since reception. I lost my temper a bit and just said “oh did they just give it to the naughty kids to make them feel better you already know how to behave” .

Which she then repeated to the other kids at school yesterday . Teacher told me after school and said she hadn’t realised this kid had had it 3 times (naughtiest kid in the class obvs).

They’re going to go home and tell their parents aren’t they?

Yep, but don't worry, isn't it still "everyone is a winner" at school these days?

I only ever got an attendance prize at school! I tried hard, was probably average and well behaved. It’s a shame that 35 years later this same shit is going on and schools aren’t publicly recognising the achievements of all kids

Meh if it's true, nothing wrong with kids knowing the truth.

If DS' future teachers were to be as stupid as to do this then too right I'll tell him. He would deserve to know the truth. If the teacher were fairly allocating prizes to everyone I wouldn't but 3x in 1 term is meaning your DD is missing out. Your DD who may equally need the support and encouragement. Especially as she's being overlooked by the teacher.

I’ve got six grand children, it DOES happen. Not so much in my kids time, probably because on the whole kids were better behaved then.

But definitely it happens now. It’s so disheartening for the hard working kids who see the kids who disrupt the classes, (with some appalling behaviour off some of them) get rewarded just for not playing up.

Most parents and grandparents I speak to have noticed it too.

@iamtheoneandonlyyy

I wouldn't worry. A child came out of year one near me last week and said 'little Bobby's been naughty' And the very posh mum said 'I'm not surprised, his mums rough as fuck'😳 Not the same but mums say all kinds of things lol

She's not posh.

Although to be fair I’d say it’s not just naughty kids, also the ones who struggle academically or are not confident.

And who knows with a bit of encouragement what the middle ones would go onto achieve.

I'm surprised schools still do that Castle. I used to enjoy those rewards and would deliberately bunk, smoke on school grounds, tell the teacher to fuck themselves, have fights etc. We'd sit on the coach laughing at the idiots sat in the class all day whilst we were at whatever theme park. And bonus when the sun was out. And for some reason, those trips, unlike the boring class ones, no uniform. Another time I won a walkman for showing up on time for a term. Went a week without swearing got a gift voucher to body shop (dewberry days). Various books, cds and more.

I just hated school and clocked on I could put in minimal effort and get maximum benefit whilst I was stuck there. Everyone knew what I was doing and why as I told them.

*If the teacher is unobservant and crap perhaps.

A good teacher will have insight and exercise appropriate judgement and skill.*

Ime many forget the kids that are missing and don't cause trouble until it's at least the summer term and they twig that they haven't had a turn at winning yet. Best case scenario is when they keep a list and the quiet kids get a go at winning before the end of the school year. Worst case scenario they are forgotten until the next school year and the same thing happens again.
There are 39 weeks of school. Assuminh 30 kids in the class each child should win at least once (ideally twice) and there's a few extra slots for the kids who need the encouragement.

Just forget it! Move on! It's completely irrelevant who wins the head award. If you are a parent then have a word with yourself if you are getting jealous that your kid hasn't won.

@ShinyGreenElephant

When l was teaching the unkind kids never ever got a head teacher award, although you would have to find some kind of opportunity to give them star of the week at some point. You might however give it to kids who were trying hard to overcome their struggles - I know I gave it twice in one term to a little boy who's mum was a violent drunk and often missed his adhd tablets as he hadnt been fed, or because he'd had to go to another family member the night before after being left at school until 5/6pm when his mum never turned up. He was bloody hard work but tried so, so hard and had a heart of gold which the other kids understood. If I knew a parent was going round telling the other kids he just got the award because he was naughty I would have been disgusted. Very very few kids are just 'naughty' - they all have their reasons whether its parents spoiling them rotten, parents neglecting their needs, SN or mental health, and sometimes the teachers don't even know never mind the rest of the class. Or some kids are 'naughty because their parents are judgy and superior and encourage their children to be the same way

👏👏👏 I was about to say something along these lines but you put it perfectly

Just forget it! Move on! It's completely irrelevant who wins the head award. If you are a parent then have a word with yourself if you are getting jealous that your kid hasn't won.

Another one who completely misses the point.

@Caroncarona

Just forget it! Move on! It's completely irrelevant who wins the head award. If you are a parent then have a word with yourself if you are getting jealous that your kid hasn't won.

Another one who completely misses the point.

You can dress it up all you like! It's jealousy pure and simple.

The primary school that my kids went to was fair on most things but there were definitely some awards/privileges that were given to the ‘naughty’ kids. My kids seen it for what it was quite early on and knew it was bullshit. I also let my kids know that I also thought it was bullshit.
My kids are now at secondary school and college. Many of those ‘naughty’ kids haven’t progressed, have remained troublesome etc whereas the good kids are doing well. So although it’s annoying at the time, if your kids are good, it all works out. My kids consistent hard work and good behaviour is paying off and they can see it.
Schools excusing bad behaviour and rewarding a ‘naughty’ child because he hasn’t bit or punched anyone this week really isn’t helping children. It’s a crap system that enables kids to keep behaving badly and allows parents to stay in denial about their children’s behaviour. Then before they know it they have an uncontrollable teen that theres very little help available for.