Can I just invite you to have a laugh at my exh? You'll like this.

[WankPuffins]

Received a text this morning telling me that he's going for "full custody" of Ds as I've flouted lockdown rules for the second time that he knows of by having a visitors in the house.

He's contacting a solicitor this afternoon.

I.cannot.Stop.Laughing.

My Ds is 18 next week

Oh god, he's such a twat. I really, really hope he does speak to a solicitor this afternoon about custody of someone who will be an adult in ten days time. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that.

I've had thirteen years of this shit since we separated. He's never let up.

(For those interested, in April he was on the phone to Ds. Ds came to ask me something and he had to wait a second while I finished my conversation. His father heard another woman's voice in the room and reported me to the police for having someone in the house. That woman was my independent midwife over for my 28 week check and blood tests).

This time, he was talking to Ds online, the door went and I shouted to Ds to get it as I was changing the baby. He told his dad he just had to open the door for someone. He went mental again, hence the text. Oh and no one came in this time, it was FIL dropping off a some pain meds for Dh, all socially distanced, he dropped them at the door and said hi to ds from the end of the drive. No rules broken either time).

@Noddyandbiggerears I hadn't even thought. I'll check with my bank.

Never done it myself but have seen it mentioned on another thread here I think.

I think the letter is worthwhile and it should include that he is not to use DS to get you to
Contact him etc.

The only way he is permitted to contact you is via postal letter.

You could put in a medical emergency concerning DS he is to contact x on tel number yyyyy

Perhaps some other family member other than your DH?

I've just sat and read this entire thread. What a fucking sausage wallet!!

Cheers to your sons birthday

My first thought was that when you told him it was in DS's account that he didn't just say "Oh, OK then. Tell DS that he can use it for school expenses and some of it for his birthday".

Silly of me.

@AcrossthePond55

My first thought was that when you told him it was in DS's account that he didn't just say "Oh, OK then. Tell DS that he can use it for school expenses and some of it for his birthday".

Silly of me.

Ah, you would be thinking of the response of a semi reasonable person.

Birthday tomorrow. A generic card turned up in the post a few days ago with a £10 Amazon voucher.

18th birthday from your father. Nice.

Has he forgotten how old his son is - that he's 18 tomorrow?

Just weird

He is having to work harder to get your attention, so he can reinstate control. The best thing you can do is to ignore.

A £10 amazon voucher for his 18th
What an utter utter prick.

I know. I mean a birthday isn't about stuff. Ds knows that. But it's about the thought. We don't have the cash to throw about but we have got something that Ds will love. It's not about the cost. It's about knowing someone. I'm also stood in the kitchen now baking/decorating a cake into the night on a theme he will love.

My Dh has made him a card as his 18th marks 10 years of them knowing each other (we married when he was 10, but I introduced them when he was 8), with daft selfies they have taken together over the years. It's very sweet.

So nothing expensive, just things that mean something. Not a bloody voucher and a generic happy birthday card.

Haha full custody of an 18 year old 😂😂😂 I laughed out loud at that bit. What an incredulous man.

Yeah, you need to stop contacting him and let the police deal with it.

@PicsInRed I had to nip today in the bud due to the words 'theft' and 'fraud' being banded around. It's a joint account and due to the nature of Dh job, of ex h decided to be an arsehole, he would lose it over things like that. Even though I know it's madness, it was in my thoughts.

Absolutely worth sending that cease and desist letter.

If he starts bullying DS hopefully he will block him and treat him like the toddler he is.

Well, if he wants to throw the word “fraud” about, you can easily prove “Slander” - surely? A solicitor could very easily request evidence that he is the one who pulled the trigger on the bank transfer and then started bandying names around.... Could have just shot himself legally in the foot.

Your ex is spitting feathers because you won.
He no longer has any control over you and he hates it.
His son knows his dad is an arse, and seems like he just keeps proving the point.
Happy Release day OP.

I have been thinking further about this... It’s a bit late now, but I think you should have replied “I think you should realize that it’s very easy for solicitors to prove who transfers money to whom, and when. And that slander is illegal. I have confirmed with DS that you ACTUALLY intended it to be transferred to him for his 18th birthday, as well as the insultingly ungenerous £10 gift card that arrived in the mail.”

Sorry, accidentally bumped send... As DS is now 18, and legally an adult, this legally emancipated me from being subject to any communication with you at all. I have blocked your number. Any further money transfers from accounts known to be yours will be transferred immediately into DS’s savings account and gratefully accepted as a gift.
Byeeeeeeeee
@WankPuffins

Can you change your bank account? It’s very easy to do online and requires minimal effort. You don’t have to use a switching service.

If you that and he transfers money because you haven’t used a switching service the money will either go into his account again or it will get paid to a random person.

Happy Birthday to your DS WankPuffin

Also, you should be feeling very proud you have raised a great son.

Enjoy the day

Unblock him once. Message saying you do not want any communication from him again, any attempts to communicate with you will be seen as harassment’s and you will report him to the police.

Then block him on everything.

I would also definitely ask your bank if you can change your account due to this weird harassment from your ex.

And then if he contacts you or goes on harassing your son to get to you report him to the police.

Ex was only given indirect contact by the courts. So he’d sit outside my house in his car. My DH saw him several times (he used to smoke so be outside smoking). Eventually DH & I moved house. I promptly got a phone call from CMS saying apparently I’d asked them to let twatface know my new address but to do that I needed to fill out a form. I told them I had made NO such request and they did not have permission to pass my information to him.
You’d think being married to OW and having DC with her he’d be happy living his own life but apparently not. I couldn’t care less if I tried what he’s doing or where he lives.

You’d think being married to OW and having DC with her he’d be happy living his own life but apparently not.

Snap.

He got what he wanted! I feel sorry for him that he just can't be happy and live his own life without trying to get one over on me for the last 13 years.

Yes it's very sad that he can't handle you moving on with your life without him, must have been such a blow to his ego. I can't imagine all the attention he gives you goes down very well with his partner either.

Wishing DS a very happy 18th