Can I just invite you to have a laugh at my exh? You'll like this.

[WankPuffins]

Received a text this morning telling me that he's going for "full custody" of Ds as I've flouted lockdown rules for the second time that he knows of by having a visitors in the house.

He's contacting a solicitor this afternoon.

I.cannot.Stop.Laughing.

My Ds is 18 next week

Oh god, he's such a twat. I really, really hope he does speak to a solicitor this afternoon about custody of someone who will be an adult in ten days time. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that.

I've had thirteen years of this shit since we separated. He's never let up.

(For those interested, in April he was on the phone to Ds. Ds came to ask me something and he had to wait a second while I finished my conversation. His father heard another woman's voice in the room and reported me to the police for having someone in the house. That woman was my independent midwife over for my 28 week check and blood tests).

This time, he was talking to Ds online, the door went and I shouted to Ds to get it as I was changing the baby. He told his dad he just had to open the door for someone. He went mental again, hence the text. Oh and no one came in this time, it was FIL dropping off a some pain meds for Dh, all socially distanced, he dropped them at the door and said hi to ds from the end of the drive. No rules broken either time).

Your ex will crack and say something to your DS.

Yeah, you are right, maybe I should just wait and not ask Ds to say anything.

I put in in Ds savings rather than his current account as he never checks that. Plus I wanted it to be put away somewhere incase he wants it back. I just wanted it off my hands to be honest so I couldn't be accused of "spending" it if it was meant to catch me out in some way.

OP please don't get him to call his Dad. He's an adult. He can call his Dad or not as he wishes. Tell him about the money and then its up to him.

It's really really hard for an adult child to cut contact with a parent, or to switch to contacting only when they are feeling strong enough to, even when the parent is abusive and contact distressing.

@MotherofTerriers Ds does love his dad. He makes him feel crap a lot, but he does still want to see him (occasionally as he doesn't like going to stay there often), and speak to him. So he doesn't want to cut contact.

But yeah, I'll just leave it for now. It's in his savings. If his dad mentions it then he'll know where it is.

I think that's a better idea but also make it clear that legally his Dad should be paying maintenance still until end of August but you would rather it was saved for uni.

I only say this because ex will make some deal out of it so it's important DS knows the truth, so he can more easily ignore unpleasant accusations about you etc.

Your ex is a Grade 1 shitty excuse

Hopefully your DS will growing stronger and only see him on his terms and literally just ignore his attention seeking abuse and manipulative behaviour.

I'd not mention it - if ex-h mentions it, I'd breezily reply "oh I presumed it was for DS so I've transferred it to him" he's definitely looking for a reaction

Fuck me he’s an attention seeking twat isn’t he?

Incoming message "well you've accepted £300 maintenance so that proves DS is still a child and that I can force a custody battle for Christmas/life"

It's so obviously just a ploy to get me to call him and ask if it's a mistake.

My husband is just exasperated by it all.

It's a joint account he paid it into so he wants to just call him and ask if he meant to put it in or if it was meant as a gift for Ds and give it back if he says no.

I've asked him not to do that for now.

Tell your DH the best tactic is silence. He is blocked for a reason.

He has only do this to instigate communication therefore do not reward ex by giving it.

Tell DH to laugh at his pathetic attempt!!!

He can still old fashioned write to you....

Funnily I don't think he will as it would be a paper trail against him!

Radio silence and I bet you get
???????
Has ds had his Big Day yet?

@baubled

Incoming message "well you've accepted £300 maintenance so that proves DS is still a child and that I can force a custody battle for Christmas/life"

I agree with this. It's his 'opening salvo' for the upcoming custody battle.

Be afraid, @WankPuffins , be very very afraid! 🙄 😆😆😆

Big day is tomorrow.

Well, that was just an attention seeking mission like I thought it was.

Ds phoned me at lunch asking me if I can call his dad. He was texting him all morning (he's in lessons all day ), saying that I was committing fraud and had his money and he needed to speak to me urgently as has been trying to get hold of me since yesterday.

Obviously, he's blocked so I haven't got he texts.

I hasn't seen Ds since the money went in, he leaves very early so I didn't tell him about the money yet. So he was like "mum, what the fuck is going on, he's going mental!"

I quickly told Ds what had happened and then I had to phone Ex.

He started shouting down the phone that his bank had made a mistake and reinstated his direct debit (ffs, no they can't do that. And it wasn't even on the same date as it usually was), and if I kept the money he would report me to the police for theft.

I very calmly said "no problem, I put it in Ds account for safe keeping incase something like that had happened (bullshit did it!!), so I'll transfer you £300 from my account immediately.

And I did.

He just muttered ok then. And hung up.

Pointless, stupid, pathetic stunt.

Was he hoping I'd argue and want to keep the money?!

Fuck knows. But that little episode is over now.

Honesty, I've got two little kids to look after. I don't have time for crap like that. God knows what he was trying to achieve. And the bank excuse

Twat.

Got so many typos
I'm wrangling the baby.

And I know I shouldn't have called him but I've got the baby and my dd is off school sick. I just wanted to tell him I was sending his bloody money back and to have this little tantrum over with.

Also Ds got a sanction at college for being caught looking at his phone. Not his fault as he saw a load of texts from his dad and thought something awful had happened so had to check.

At this stage, if you can afford it, I would be very tempted to get a solicitor to write a cease and desist letter. It’s straightforward harassment.

predictable little cunt isn't he.

maybe DS can put his phone to do not disturb setting whilst in lessons, save any further attempts at the fuckwit to cause distress.

I agree, Cease and Desist.

As much as DS loves him, he will soon learn what a nasty person his dad is and whether that's through him getting to you, or going straight for DS, it's going to happen and I don't think you can protect him from it (as fucking ridiculous as it is that you should need to protect him from his own father)

I'm just glad that's all over and it didn't drag on and on. If he ever pulls a stunt with money again I'll just transfer it right back to him.

I mean he put the money across yesterday evening and was trying to text me. He must've been very frustrated with no reply to then start on Ds all morning. Christ, there was barely a ring before he answered his phone at lunch, he was obviously waiting for some sort of fight.

I am considering speaking to a solicitor myself. I can't have him hanging over me pulling stunts like this.

It's just not normal behaviour.

And yes, he's so predictable which is why I transferred the money to Ds account right away so I couldn't be accused of trying to keep it. It's getting exhausting trying to keep one step ahead of what's going on in his warped mind.

I doubt he will pull the same trick twice, but I believe you can block certain accounts from laying into your bank. May be worth a quick call to find out.