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Can I just invite you to have a laugh at my exh? You'll like this.

464 replies

WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 12:29

Received a text this morning telling me that he's going for "full custody" of Ds as I've flouted lockdown rules for the second time that he knows of by having a visitors in the house.

He's contacting a solicitor this afternoon.

I.cannot.Stop.Laughing.

My Ds is 18 next week Grin

Oh god, he's such a twat. I really, really hope he does speak to a solicitor this afternoon about custody of someone who will be an adult in ten days time. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that.

I've had thirteen years of this shit since we separated. He's never let up.

(For those interested, in April he was on the phone to Ds. Ds came to ask me something and he had to wait a second while I finished my conversation. His father heard another woman's voice in the room and reported me to the police for having someone in the house. That woman was my independent midwife over for my 28 week check and blood tests).

This time, he was talking to Ds online, the door went and I shouted to Ds to get it as I was changing the baby. He told his dad he just had to open the door for someone. He went mental again, hence the text. Oh and no one came in this time, it was FIL dropping off a some pain meds for Dh, all socially distanced, he dropped them at the door and said hi to ds from the end of the drive. No rules broken either time).

OP posts:
ArnoldBee · 23/11/2020 10:45

If it wouldn't cause you more hassle I would reply you can arrange contact with DS wife in future.

Daftapath · 23/11/2020 10:46

You are not restricting access. You are saying that on those dates, you are able to facilitate access. Ds can see him anytime he chooses.

I was advised by dd's counsellor a couple of years ago not to put pressure on her to see her father. She was old enough to decide for herself (14 then) and it was causing her distress because she felt she had to see him so he wouldn't get angry with me. She felt that she had to protect me. The weight that was lifted off both of us! She sees him occasionally but only when she wants to. He is still angry, that hasn't changed and I suspect never will. No matter what I do or don't do.

WankPuffins · 23/11/2020 10:49

@ArnoldBee

If it wouldn't cause you more hassle I would reply you can arrange contact with DS wife in future.
Grin oh that's fabulous!
OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

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Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 23/11/2020 10:52

Haven't contacted my ex in nearly 6 years.
The joy you will soon feel is immense op.. The sense of freedom...
Make a mental note to self that he won't enter your thoughts after today..
I will bet your ds isn't in a hurry for that lift...

Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 23/11/2020 11:45

Slightly different situation, I've been separated but not divorced, for ridiculous number of years.

Ex contacted me this year to say he might have to give up work for health reasons, and could claim spousal maintenance from me if he did.Grin. What a twat.

RandomMess · 23/11/2020 12:01

You could unblock and if he hasn't responded do the ? ?? ??? Grin

Well done for the text, hopefully DS won't feel obliged to visit him just to placate him.

Thanks
MLMbotsgoaway · 23/11/2020 13:26

Honestly what part of 18 is an adult does he not understand. Well done for blocking (though must confess would have loved to have heard about the reply).

justilou1 · 23/11/2020 15:03

You could also get DS to send a message to his wife expressing your concern for his mental well-being....”perhaps Covid is hitting him especially hard, or could it be dementia maybe, as he doesn’t seem to be able to grasp repeated assertations that DS is a few days away from legal adulthood, and threats of legal action to arrange access rights for an adult are simply quite off-the-wall bizarre, even for him!”

WankPuffins · 23/11/2020 15:55

It is rather worrying!!

I think it's more that he's just clutching at any straw he can now to get to me. He knows he can't do anything anymore. So this was his (last, I hope) ditch attempt to upset me and make me worry.

It's pathetic really. Especially pathetic as it was him who was shagging around and married one of them that I have been the reasonable one throughout the years. I'm the one who would have cause to be upset and angry!

Sad little man. I really hoped he would find happiness after throwing away our family for it, but it seems he isn't a happy person.

OP posts:
WankPuffins · 23/11/2020 15:58

Meanwhile, I met dh who has treated my Ds wonderfully since the day they met and will, and has done, anything and everything for him. Nothing has been too much trouble. Exh wife just treats Ds with disdain and I always wondered why he didn't grow a backbone and stand up for him.

OP posts:
madcatladyforever · 23/11/2020 16:05

My ex went for full custody so many times of my 5 year old that a judge decided he was such a worrying influence on my son and my family that he banned him from seeing me or my son until my son was 18.
So my ex went to live in Germany so that he wouldn't have to pay maintenance. How very caring of him.
I haven't seen him in years, he did pop up on facebook messenger recently talking to me as if it was still 1983 and he'd just popped out of the house for 5 minutes. I blocked him.

GammyLeg · 23/11/2020 21:06

Well done, OP! Finally you are free of him. DS's birthday will be a double celebration.

DoubleNegativePanda · 23/11/2020 21:21

I have an ex very much like this. They are such idiots. DD is now 19 and hasn't spoken to him since August by her own choice. When he came by to give her a birthday gift she refused to hug him because of Covid (and he is vocal about think it's a hoax), and he literally tossed her gift at her and said "there's no point staying then" and left. Such a SHIT.

Yours sounds like a first class idiot as well. I bet he gets laughed out of the solicitor's office.

minou123 · 23/11/2020 22:15

So..wait.....is he expecting you to facilitate contact access with DS to the end of time?

I can just imagine it:

The year is 2052
Ex: "I have not seen DS all year. You MUST make him come to see me for the weekend, or I'll file for custody Angry
WankPuffin: "Go for it! I'm sure a judge will grant custody for a 50 year old DS. With 3 children and a grandchild on the way. But if it makes you feel better.....

MLMbotsgoaway · 23/11/2020 22:19

@minou123

So..wait.....is he expecting you to facilitate contact access with DS to the end of time?

I can just imagine it:

The year is 2052
Ex: "I have not seen DS all year. You MUST make him come to see me for the weekend, or I'll file for custody Angry
WankPuffin: "Go for it! I'm sure a judge will grant custody for a 50 year old DS. With 3 children and a grandchild on the way. But if it makes you feel better.....

Grin exh waves walking stick at Wankpuffin screaming I’m taking this all the way
minou123 · 23/11/2020 22:22

MLMbotsgoaway

exh waves walking stick at Wankpuffin screaming I’m taking this all the way

That's how I imagined it! Grin

MLMbotsgoaway · 23/11/2020 22:41

In one of those shaky voices they always do when doing a flash forward in films Grin

WankPuffins · 24/11/2020 03:08

@MLMbotsgoaway

In one of those shaky voices they always do when doing a flash forward in films Grin
😂😂 oh this has brightened up dds 3am feed!
OP posts:
BedknobsNoBroomsticks · 24/11/2020 03:28

I do hope he does try going through the courts. Just to imagine the look on his solicitors face when he tells them how old ds is.

Lucked · 24/11/2020 08:13

I would have had to have asked “All the way where?” Just go give myself more material to laugh at.

However you are right to have blocked him, he does not get to call you names and behave like a bully, horrible man. Well done.

MLMbotsgoaway · 24/11/2020 15:14

Ooh or just thinking you could have started doing that pretend crackly line thing and said “oh you’re coming all the way? No need for me to drop him off then, great!”

justilou1 · 25/11/2020 01:02

Or “That’s what you think, Buster! I haven’t had to go all the way with your saggy arse since I left!”

WankPuffins · 26/11/2020 09:06

So, another twist in the ongoing saga...

Last night I checked my banking app and it was £300 more than it should have been.

It was Ds dad. That's the amount of maintenance he used to pay each month before he stopped in July Confused

I've transferred it to Ds savings.

When Ds gets home from college I'm going to get him to call his dad and tell him thank you, but here's my own bank details if you want to send me anything, or that he can transfer it straight back to him from his account if it was a mistake.

I can only assume it was a way to wind me up again. I cannot play these fucking games and I'm not going to engage.

OP posts:
Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 26/11/2020 09:35

I bet he says it's for Xmas as you are denying him access so he won't be able to give him his gifts..

RandomMess · 26/11/2020 09:35

OMG he is SO desperate for you to engage with him...

Actually I would tell DS and leave it up to him!

Legally his Dad should be paying maintenance so there is no need for either of you to say anything.

I wouldn't ask DS to text him because your ex wants a response!!! Yes tell him that you've given him it and his Dad should be paying it but he can have it to save for uni.