My mum is really angry about her Christmas card

[ChooseYourLameName]

I sent mine out early this year (I know, I know). My mum got hers today, earlier than expected since I sent them 2nd Class.

She doesn’t often answer her phone but she did today, I rang for a quick chat. She said ‘I got your card, thanks’. She sounded really disappointed (she’s either a really thrilled, happy as a button person or is really down in the dumps and snappy). I said is everything okay, she said ‘well it wasn’t a nice card, was it?’

It was part of a multipack, granted But I thought there were really sweet, with a snowman and red car with a tree on top. I said that I thought she’d like it, they’re just a little gesture. She said ‘Yeah well thanks’.

She then said ‘got to go, really busy, I’ll call you later’. She never does call later though.

Was I really CF for sending a multipack card? Can that be offensive if the person is an important person in your life? I just wanted to do something nice, to let people know they were in my thoughts.

I’m really hurt by this. I know I need to get a grip and I’m probably the silly one for thinking a cheap little card would be well received when people will probably bin it when they get them

I dont really understand why you have sent them out 6 weeks early.

I think your mum is being ridiculous but I wouldn't send mine a multi pack card because I know she really values cards. I dont understand why but that's her.

You couldn't have SAID 'I couldn't give a shit about you' more clearly than send her a card like That. Why would you be that lazy?

Wtf? Please tell me that was sarcasm! It's a card fgs. I never buy anything but multipack Christmas cards. Big fancy individual Christmas cards are usually massively tacky anyway. Extra naff points if they say the family member on the front and have a verse inside.

Well it's not six weeks early is it - if the op sent the card in six weeks time she'd have something to complain about.

Off topic I know l, but it reminded me of many years ago when I didn't get a card from my mum. Went to see her (she was in a care home), to be told, 'Oh, I only send cards to special friends now!'
To be fair, she was in the the early stages of dementia, but I was still a bit gutted!

@KatherineJaneway

It was part of a multipack, granted

You couldn't have SAID 'I couldn't give a shit about you' more clearly than send her a card like That. Why would you be that lazy?

Oh yes and sending Christmas cards in mid-November?!

I'm that you sent her a card in the middle of November. So receiving that would be odd in itself. And then to just get a bog standard mutipack card, that is odd too. Parents, siblings, grandparents, nieces nephews- basically all family and close friends get specially chosen cards. Always have done.

My mum would have a shit fit over this. To her, cards must be as demonstrative and over the top as possible, anything less means the sender doesn't care and should be given the cold shoulder and silent treatment, before being sniffily.told that IT'S FINE a week later.

In reality, it doesn't actually matter. You sent her a Christmas card because you were thinking of her and that you thought it would be a nice thing to send out early.

As it is, I send my parents a joint card because none of the "mother" cards express my feelings for my mum (I don't think they do cards about gaslighting). She has a strop every year about it. If it wasn't the card it would be soemth8ng else.

Anyhoo. Your mum is ridiculous.

My MIL was upset when we sent her a really nice, pretty, non multipack card, because it didn't say mum on the front and didn't have a poem inside 🙄 I don't get it. By the way yanbu, I don't see what's wrong with a multipack card

In all honesty I could not give less of a shit if I never received a card again. I live close to all my family/friends so cards never contain anything other than To XXX, Happy Whatever, Love XXX.

Fair enough if you add a bit about what you've been up to recently etc, perhaps to elderly relatives. But for people that you see/speak to regularly then I don't see the point.

@Rabblemum

Older people put too much thought into these things, maybe it’s because they don’t have enough other things to think about, maybe it’s lockdown madness.

Why are you sending cards so early? Doing Christmas stuff early isn’t going to make 2020 go any quicker...

And more ageism

unless I was flat broke and they knew it, my immediate family wouldn't be happy with a multipack card as they are reserved for distant relatives, friends, acquaintances.

Similarly I would question receiving a big standard multipack card from my mum or brother. I wouldn't sulk though or make my displeasure known.

At Primary school (in the 80s) the popular kids used cards as a way of letting you know your place. If you got a flowery card or one with a religious scene from them, you were the lowest of the low!

I don't do cards to everyone now, when I did shit like this would give anxiety because some of dhs family would complain even after spending time and money reading twee fucking verses to match to the person. What I ended up doing is telling dh he sorts the cards for his side of the family and I sort them for mine. My side some do cards, some don't, I know my Mam likes a nice verse so I used to get her one. I got a moon pig one earlier in the year when I was shielding for her wedding anniversary and I remember a thread here where people were saying it's better to not bother at all than send a moonlit one because they make the sender look lazy etc.

Dedicated card shops are closed anyway atm. Many many people started Xmas shopping earlier than usual this because of the possibility of lockdowns, I don't think it's odd to have gotten cards now instead of waiting until card shops reopen in December, esp if people are concerned that restrictions could be extended and the increased demand on postal systems. I know loads of people have sent Xmas gifts and cards already when they usually wouldn't have and my mother, who works in a post office has said they're busier than they normally are.

I kind of think anyone complaining about the type of card they get at a time when choice and options are limited, when money is a bit tighter and not all shops are open , is unreasonable.

I would only have sent my Mum and Dad a card from a multipack when they were actually buying the multipack for me ie: being a kid.

As an adult I would have got them a special one.

Both long since passed away so not an issue sadly.

It's a piece of thick paper that gets tossed in the recycling after a few weeks. Who actually links the choice of card to how much they're loved? 🙄 She's being daft.

Do people really get upset over this stuff? I would never expect my kids to feel under pressure to get me a 'nice' expensive card!

@XiCi

I'm that you sent her a card in the middle of November. So receiving that would be odd in itself. And then to just get a bog standard mutipack card, that is odd too. Parents, siblings, grandparents, nieces nephews- basically all family and close friends get specially chosen cards. Always have done.

So if you received a card like one of these www.johnlewis.com/form-renaissance-cathedral-christmas-cards-pack-of-5/p4933905

www.marksandspencer.com/traditional-charity-christmas-cards-pack-of-4/p/hbp22524351

you'd think it was rubbish because of how it was packaged when the sender bought it, or because it didn't have the relationship between you (neice etc) printed on the front?

Or do you mean if the card is bad quality regardless of how it was packaged?

I can't see why 'being in a multipack' automatically means it's bad quality. But I guess tastes and expectations differ.

We normally do better cards for family (with Mum etc on them rather than multipack) but given everything that's happened this year and how difficult things are I wouldn't mind if I got no cards or presents - I wouldn't want anyone to put themselves at risk going out to buy something special!

I think your mum will get over this so don't worry about it. In a month's time send her a 'special mum' card and it will look as though the original one was just addressed to by mistake, amongst a lot of others.

Most of us buy packs of cards some of which are gorgeous but I do think parents, children and anyone who is particularly close deserves a more personal one. Or you could personalise it yourself if you find a particularly pretty card.

As we get older, the 'special' people become less. Cherish them while you still have them.

I love cards.

Sorry but this thread reminds me of this

Bloody hell what a fuss over nothing. Who cares? Even if I normally got big special card from someone and then they sent a multipack card or a smaller cheaper one - I'd just think well maybe they're a bit skint this year or something. She's being a ridiculous PA drama queen.

Send her one of those 3ft high padded ones with a cheesy verse and have it delivered on a velvet cushion by a footman.

This must be like a marketers dream listening to people create a false binary between multipack and special. Suckers.

Please don't assume that all older people want a card with a twee verse inside. We don't!

@VioletSunset

Do people really get upset over this stuff? I would never expect my kids to feel under pressure to get me a 'nice' expensive card!

Only on MN. No one would get themselves worked up by this shit anywhere else.