My mum is really angry about her Christmas card

[ChooseYourLameName]

I sent mine out early this year (I know, I know). My mum got hers today, earlier than expected since I sent them 2nd Class.

She doesn’t often answer her phone but she did today, I rang for a quick chat. She said ‘I got your card, thanks’. She sounded really disappointed (she’s either a really thrilled, happy as a button person or is really down in the dumps and snappy). I said is everything okay, she said ‘well it wasn’t a nice card, was it?’

It was part of a multipack, granted But I thought there were really sweet, with a snowman and red car with a tree on top. I said that I thought she’d like it, they’re just a little gesture. She said ‘Yeah well thanks’.

She then said ‘got to go, really busy, I’ll call you later’. She never does call later though.

Was I really CF for sending a multipack card? Can that be offensive if the person is an important person in your life? I just wanted to do something nice, to let people know they were in my thoughts.

I’m really hurt by this. I know I need to get a grip and I’m probably the silly one for thinking a cheap little card would be well received when people will probably bin it when they get them

This is a thing? I have only ever sent out multipack cards unless I've say, only need one more - I must squeak when I walk.

Ops 'said' not capitals.

Do you normally send Xmas cards out of season?

Thanks OP you’ve just given me a nudge to add a mum card to my next shopping basket.

I’m not bothered about cards but I know my mum is. She won’t be getting it until December though

She's done well to get post delivered on a Sunday! Is this another service not offered to us rural dwellers?

I don’t usually send cards out at all and my usual thinking would be to do it in December, but I just thought it might be nice earlier this year: I know I know, it probably isn’t and I’ve shot myself in the foot

She is behaving like a spoilt brat and is very rude. Tell her that.

My MIL was capable of such behaviour sometimes. I learned over the years to ignore her but it was hard at first as when I was growing up those of us who lived in the same household never exchanged Christmas cards, but in MIL's world everyone did, and she expected everyone also to study and absorb the ridiculous and soppy little verses within them. They had to have been specially selected from a card shop, not generic ones from a selection box. Those were only to be sent to extended family and friends.

My parents only ever did selection box cards, as cheap as possible. So did I. MIL was probably horrified at first, but I learned to ignore sulks so paid it little attention.

These days I only send Christmas cards to my elderly parents as we no longer live nearby so can't usually see them. I no longer send any others and it is so liberating.

Sorry but you both sound a bit bonkers - you for sending Christmas cards in November, and her for a) not telling you that you are bonkers for sending Christmas cards in November and b) for caring what the card looked like.

A poster pointed out that it is actually Sunday today so she would’ve got it yesterday. So she’s had a whole day to compose herself but still hasn’t

It wouldn’t occur to me in a million years that a card from a pack was unacceptable. But I guess that explains the miles of glittery twee in Asda.

@KatherineJaneway

It was part of a multipack, granted

You couldn't have SAID 'I couldn't give a shit about you' more clearly than send her a card like That. Why would you be that lazy?

This has got to be a joke, right? Real, adult human don't actually think like this.

Utter nonsense,.

Well no probs with mulktipack cards, but I do try to think would this person appreciate this card. I wouldn,t think too much about it. She might have thought it was odd to get a card this early as well.

@KatherineJaneway

It was part of a multipack, granted

You couldn't have SAID 'I couldn't give a shit about you' more clearly than send her a card like That. Why would you be that lazy?

I've only ever sent multipack Christmas cards and so have my family.

Clearly we never gave a shit, but even less so now that we hardly send any at all of (can't be arsed) so a multipack lasts us for years.

@KatherineJaneway

It was part of a multipack, granted

You couldn't have SAID 'I couldn't give a shit about you' more clearly than send her a card like That. Why would you be that lazy?

Is that sarcasm... please tell me that's sarcastic

A lot of people are starting their Christmas decorations a bit early this year to brighten things up, since we've all seen so much of our homes this year, so it's not desperately early. Nice idea OP, sorry it hasn't gone to plan.

Wow I have never been aware that anyone could think like this! I hate the whole Xmas card thing - so much obligation and waste, but this is on a whole other level of pressure! I’ve never given/received one of those individual ones and would have had no idea it was somehow linked to how much I was loved or not.

@HelloDulling

What sort of card would she deem appropriate? A special, To a Dear Mother Mother at Christmas one? To get one of those, you would need to go to a shop especially, which is hardly practical at the moment.

She is being very silly.

You really don't need to go to a shop. I bought all the 'family' cards online last week either on Amazon or Ebay or there are lots of other online retailers that sell them.

I can see why she might have been upset, I probably would too, but I wouldn't have said anything!

Your mother is a very entitled and rude woman. That would be the last Christmas card she got from me, if I were you.

I've never sent anything other than multi pack cards. Who knows how many people I've offended, then.

And less of the ageism please @ExplodingCarrots. I'm in my mid 60s and neither I nor the generation of family above me have ever sent fancy individual cards, and certainly have never been precious about what they receive.

I had a thread on individual cards last year www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a3758694-Who-buys-individual-Christmas-cards

• I think they're fine but can't comprehend buying loads of them at £2-3 a pop designed for each individual member of the family.

I buy multipack cards in nice designs - they do exist, I've had some lovely ones - and they're charity ones to boot. Although since having kids it's been the printed kids' designs ones to close family, they can't complain about the quality then!

OP were yours charity ones? You could get sniffy about wanting to support those in need at Christmas...

It’s the middle of November, I think I would be a little confused if I received a card this early. Maybe it’s more about the timing than the actual card?

Cards are really important to my mum, though I don't know why. She wouldn't care if she got no presents as long as she got a nice card... and not one from a multipack.

Sending cards in early November is VERY odd.

I don't care about cards but I can't say I blame your mum for being upset at getting a multipack card on 15 November!

I have never bought one of the special cards and I never will. Luckily, my family's views on them range from 'vulgar', to 'so twee it makes me want to puke', so it's not an issue.

I can't see anything wrong with multipack cards. I choose cards I like, they are not cheap and nasty looking (unlike the generally tacky as hell individual ones) and they don't come with fucking awful doggerel inside. I've known quite a few people who put a lot of store in the special cards, but I don't understand it at all! They're still just mass produced, bland, festive sentiments.

A handmade cared, tailored to the individual is a lovely thing; any mass produced card is still just generic pictures and glitter, whether it says 'mum' on or not, only the named ones tend to have disengenuous shite in too.

I only send to close family and friends and they are always specific cards like ‘mum and dad’ if I sent a card mid Nov from a multipack my mum would think I was being funny - she doesn’t ask for much but her generation seem to really value nice cards for Christmas and birthdays