My mum is really angry about her Christmas card

[ChooseYourLameName]

I sent mine out early this year (I know, I know). My mum got hers today, earlier than expected since I sent them 2nd Class.

She doesn’t often answer her phone but she did today, I rang for a quick chat. She said ‘I got your card, thanks’. She sounded really disappointed (she’s either a really thrilled, happy as a button person or is really down in the dumps and snappy). I said is everything okay, she said ‘well it wasn’t a nice card, was it?’

It was part of a multipack, granted But I thought there were really sweet, with a snowman and red car with a tree on top. I said that I thought she’d like it, they’re just a little gesture. She said ‘Yeah well thanks’.

She then said ‘got to go, really busy, I’ll call you later’. She never does call later though.

Was I really CF for sending a multipack card? Can that be offensive if the person is an important person in your life? I just wanted to do something nice, to let people know they were in my thoughts.

I’m really hurt by this. I know I need to get a grip and I’m probably the silly one for thinking a cheap little card would be well received when people will probably bin it when they get them

She's being ridiculous, rude and immature. She should be pleased you bother to make an effort when so many don't with their family or friends. What an odd reaction. No one in my family would behave like this. Don't bother sending any in future or next year send her a giant over the top one that sprays confetti and glitter all over her. Hope you have a nice Christmas, you sound like a really nice person x

Some of our family are funny about cards but they’ve all been given advanced warning that this year and going forwards, it’s going to be multipack charity cards. The £40+ I usually spend on individual cards for everyone with “Mum”, “Grandma”, “Brother and Sister in Law” etc, is going to be donated to a local charity we support. Things are hard for a lot of people this year. I just had a lightbulb moment where I thought “what the hell am I doing?”. That £40 will make a huge difference to the charity after they’ve lost so much money this year, or alternatively I can spend it on some bits of paper that will no doubt be in landfill by New Years Day.

It might be that she thinks it is too early? I don't send my Mum a card and just give her a present on the day - but I see her every year and I expect it is different if you will not see her at Christmas

Only ever sent multipack cards.

I remember being in a card shop last December and being bemused by a woman asking staff where were the cards that said ‘dear cousin’s daughter’ or something. I thought she must be mad but after reading this thread it seems she’s not alone.

Maybe my expectations are low but I’m just glad someone’s thought of me when I receive a Christmas card. And I don’t even know if I could always tell whether it’s a card from a multipack or not! How do you know?!

Your mum behaves like a twat.

This is so funny 😂

I wouldnt think it was 'rubbish' badguyduh. Just they're the type of cards that you send to work colleagues, neighbours etc. I wouldnt give one of those to my mum. It's just part of my Christmas ritual that I put a bit more thought into family cards. Funnily enough for the last few years my mum has told us not to bother as she has kept our cards from a previous year and just puts the same ones up again

My dad sends from a pack he brought in the 80s from a man in a pub,
I’m still getting those, he only sends about 3 a year and he got 200 of them.
It’s a bit of paper that says merry Christmas, it’s really quit childish when you think about it.

Previously I’ve spent £60+ on Christmas cards. So pleased this year people are saying no cards.

My late mil always showed off about any cards we sent ( not good enough etc) and we usually got them a special ' mum and dad ' one. One year it said ' to both of you' and she went mad at us ( well me mostly)
She wanted all the love and affection without any of the work involved in being nice and pleasant. She was never satisfied with anything you bought or sent her at any time.
Your mum probably wanted a more special card maybe?
What do you normally send her?

Actually I think this thread is one of those weird Mumsnet alternative worlds. Clearly people care about getting special cards or there wouldn't be aisles and aisles of them at xmas or entire shops dedicated to just selling cards. People do care, I don't know any mother who receives a generic multi pack card.

My Mum's side of the family are really funny about cards. They're not arsey or ungrateful at all in general but they REALLY like cards!!

I have to read the words inside and everything!!!

I do think it's pretty common to not send general box cards to close family, though. I'd never send one to my Mum that didn't say Mum on it.

I really don't understand why you'd expect people to be grateful for Christmas cards, either? I wouldn't assume it was a gesture or that they were thinking about me if I got a card, in honesty.

My mum was happy with any card or present! She was so easy going compared to many others who want the moon on a stick !

Wtf?! People send ‘special’ cards to close relatives? Is this a thing? Honestly never heard of it.

Some of our family are funny about cards but they’ve all been given advanced warning that this year and going forwards, it’s going to be multipack charity cards. The £40+ I usually spend on individual cards for everyone with “Mum”, “Grandma”, “Brother and Sister in Law” etc, is going to be donated to a local charity we support. Things are hard for a lot of people this year. I just had a lightbulb moment where I thought “what the hell am I doing?”. That £40 will make a huge difference to the charity after they’ve lost so much money this year, or alternatively I can spend it on some bits of paper that will no doubt be in landfill by New Years Day.

This is such a good point.

That is a crazy reaction by your mother! Life really is too short for that shit.

Is it just about the card or are you always being expected to dance about trying to get it right for her?

My mum loves a nice card, saying mum with a nice verse. She wouldn't be happy with a multipack card. I know this so always send a nice card. She would rather have a nice card rather than a present.
Now me I don't give a fuck about a card, I'm all about the presents!

Wtf?! People send ‘special’ cards to close relatives? Is this a thing? Honestly never heard of it.

100%. Mum, Dad, Aunt, Uncle, Neice, nephew, Granddaughter, Grandson, Nan, Grandad, Grandma.......it's exhausting, honestly!! Especially when you have kids and have to buy multiple cards for the same person but with different names! Nan, Grandma & Great Grandma always catch me out!!

I have never ever heard of this before, that people can be offended that the christmas card they get might be from a multipack. Seriously, totally new territory for me.

Your mum is being absolutely bonkers. (You are being a bit bonkers by sending them so early, but not bonkers at all for sending them from a multipack.)

Back in the day when I did send cards I would send multi pack cards and for close family I would buy those multi packs which contain only maybe 6 cards which looked hand made so cost a bit more but not as expensive as buying individual cards.

The only thing wrong with any of this drama is its the 15th November...theres early then theres early....

"She had ripped the card up in front of him and sent him off to buy one that said girlfriend. She was swiftly added to the list of people I buy specific cards for and received one with special friend on it from me"

Wow!

Talk about rewarding bad behaviour!

Did the boyfriend walk away there & then or do her bidding?

How meaningless would that card have been?

I'd be quite upset if dd gave me a card from a multipack.