My mum is really angry about her Christmas card

[ChooseYourLameName]

I sent mine out early this year (I know, I know). My mum got hers today, earlier than expected since I sent them 2nd Class.

She doesn’t often answer her phone but she did today, I rang for a quick chat. She said ‘I got your card, thanks’. She sounded really disappointed (she’s either a really thrilled, happy as a button person or is really down in the dumps and snappy). I said is everything okay, she said ‘well it wasn’t a nice card, was it?’

It was part of a multipack, granted But I thought there were really sweet, with a snowman and red car with a tree on top. I said that I thought she’d like it, they’re just a little gesture. She said ‘Yeah well thanks’.

She then said ‘got to go, really busy, I’ll call you later’. She never does call later though.

Was I really CF for sending a multipack card? Can that be offensive if the person is an important person in your life? I just wanted to do something nice, to let people know they were in my thoughts.

I’m really hurt by this. I know I need to get a grip and I’m probably the silly one for thinking a cheap little card would be well received when people will probably bin it when they get them

YANBU. The drama in other people's lives never ceases to amaze me.

@Choccylips

A card with Mum on would have been more suited to the lady that gave birth to you and bought you up. It is only once a year and she should be treated differently to your friends and neighbours you said she was an important person in your life then treat her like it. Will you expect a multi card from your partner.

Sending a card doesnt really denote someone as an important person in your life. Surely spending time with them and showing them love in other ways is more important.

I wont get a christmas card to or from my partner. We will be together on Christmas day and wish each other Happy Christmas. Pointless to have an expensive bit of paper with the same sentiment on it.

The fact she (like the rest of us) chose cards that’s picture and words reflected something about all of our unique relationships with her, little things she appreciated or noticed in a jokey way perhaps all showed a level of thought and care that a multipack doesn’t.

Blimey, what sort of magical card shop do you go to? The cards in any shop I've been to are pretty generic (flowers and butterflies for women, cars, golf and beer for men). I always struggle to find a card with a vaguely relevant image, with a message I would be happy to send, let alone the nuance you suggest.

She's just teaching you a lesson. Like if you have important people in your life, go that bit xtra for them.

@Pinkyandthebrainz

YANBU. The drama in other people's lives never ceases to amaze me.

I thought my drama free family was the norm until I started posting here, the absolute craziness of the way some people go on is exhausting just reading it.

@jontyl

She's just teaching you a lesson. Like if you have important people in your life, go that bit xtra for them.

She's teaching her the lesson 'don't bother with grown adults who behave like five year olds'.

They all go in the bin, I see the fancy cards as a total waste of money. I always use the multi pack ones, leave her alone and let her get over it. Silly thing to get upset over when there are so many other things going on in the country

Unless you are in dire financial straits it's probably not the best thing to do sending your Mum a card from a Multi pack!

Im not religious but i sometimes think what would jesus do?! Tell somebody their card wasnt speshul enough?
How would jesus react to being told you didnt treat me speshully enough? Serious question.

@Kate139

Unless you are in dire financial straits it's probably not the best thing to do sending your Mum a card from a Multi pack!

Not if your mum is prone to childish tantrums about absolutely nothing anyway.

Let this be a message from the universe to stop doing cards

I always give my parents, siblings and grandparents nice cards. You can get some nice ones from Card Factory without spending £3 like you would in Clinton’s. I wouldn’t give them a generic card from a multipack.

Is this post for real???? I always send all my cards from a multi pack, normally buy them in Jan when reduced. Get charity ones.

Cards are business, why spend a lot on them. You can even get ones for grandmothers on Mothers day now???!!! I worked out how much people spent on Capt. Toms birthday cards, it was in the 100s of thousands, wouldn't that have been better used by donating?
They would invent one for every day if they could to con us idiots into buying them . This year I have a nice one for my Dad as not seen him and had a free card offer from Paperchase. First time ever. My Dad is not even that bothered. Home made cards are best.

I suppose it varies from family to family, but in mine, we usually send each other charity multipacks ones (or homemade by DC's).
I only send to close family and friends. My mum will do the whole family. My Gran's list probably runs to at least a 100 people (most of which she has fallen out of touch with but still sends a card as they are in her address book).
On DP's side, they only give cards if there's money or a voucher in it, and don't care what kind of card it is.

How wonderful to have a life where this is a problem.

I've always been amazed at how contentious the card issue is. It absolutely boggles my mind at how silly people can be about it. My dm and dsis are borderline insane about it.

Oddly I thought it was just one of the many ways they use to pick at me (which generally doesn't work because I long since checked out of caring ) until my dm a week ago told me chapter and verse about my dsis working insane hour days due to covid and how tough she has it. Only for her then to comment about the fact she had reminded her about my ds1 birthday 3 times ,then bought her a card to send , there was a massive rigmarole (too boring for words) about the sending and addressing of it.

I dislike my dsis intensely for good reason and by the end I was feeling genuinely sorry for her. I pointed out that ds1 was 8 , frankly he couldn't give a monkey's about cards (he always sends a video and a thank you for anything he gets ).

My dm knows that I hate cards because it becomes this wierd controlling "did I get the right card and it tells me my vaallluuuueee to you" crap.

If you define your relationship by a folded piece of cardboard you have bigger issues than a card. So it's not like she thought I would be offended.

I asked dm why she put so much pressure on dsis to send a card when she was overloaded , stressed , upset and ds1 wouldn't have remotely been upset. She didn't really have an answer.

I've found the older generation can be really precious about Xmas cards

I am probably considered the older generation and I can’t remember when I last sent or received a Christmas card.

MIL who is 35 years older isn’t interested in them either.

They are a waste of money and a pain in the neck writing them out and are completely meaningless.

We get a card for the previous owners of our house every year without fail.

Surely if these people were close they would have told them that they moved to the other side of the country at some point in the last 22 years.

'Being a brat'? What a strange way of describing a mother, who is obviously a little upset about receiving a non-personal Christmas card, in the middle of November. You are being extremely judgemental here, particularly as you don't know the 'dynamic'' of that person's family. This is proof indeed, of the younger generations utter contempt for their older family members. Get over yourself.

How wonderful to have a life where this is a problem.

Prize for the most idiotic comment goes to...
People are allowed to discuss any issues they like, including the utterly trivial ones. And, newsflash, talking about a minor issue doesn't mean it's the only issue in your life. Not that someone's relationship with their mother, or their mother's unkind behaviour towards them is particularly trivial. But I hope you enjoyed popping in with your very clichéd, smug and pointless remark. Last I looked, MN was a chat forum, not a forum reserved only for people with Terribly Serious Problems.

I don't know anyone like this thank God!

@Nottherealslimshady

I wouldn't be thrilled about a multi pack card from a close family member. It's not really thoughtful, our families like the poem ones or funny ones because they've put the time and effort in to look through and choose the right one. Did you at least write a nice verse or just "merry Christmas mum, love your daughter"

That said, I'm not wasting money on cards this year.

I have never signed anything 'love your daughter' - thats so bizaare, she knows who I am and I have a name lol

1. It is FAR TOO EARLY to send Christmas cards.
2. She is being a nitwit.
3. I am fed up with the sense of entitlement that people have around this time of year; and all the fuss about presents etc. A gift is a gift, a card is a card - they mean someone was thinking of you. End of.
4. Just ignore her sulks completely.

Maybe she’d appreciate one of those annoying email cards ...

Am I the only one who doesn't buy or send cards to anyone for any occasion, including my parents.
Your mum is being very precious op.

@amispeakingenglish

Is this post for real???? I always send all my cards from a multi pack, normally buy them in Jan when reduced. Get charity ones. Cards are business, why spend a lot on them. You can even get ones for grandmothers on Mothers day now???!!! I worked out how much people spent on Capt. Toms birthday cards, it was in the 100s of thousands, wouldn't that have been better used by donating? They would invent one for every day if they could to con us idiots into buying them . This year I have a nice one for my Dad as not seen him and had a free card offer from Paperchase. First time ever. My Dad is not even that bothered. Home made cards are best.

you get ones 'from the cat to a special step-grandfather' on fathers day and all kinds of nonsensical ones now a day just so people can unashamedly show the world they are bat shit crazy.

A famous viral one is the couples christmas card with 'to my Brother and Daughter in Law'... like ok is the family tree a wreath?

There really is something for everyone lol