What's the oldest "acceptable" age a man can father his last baby?

[sausagedoglove]

What do you think? 39? 52? 65? How old would a man have to be when having his last child for you to think "that's a bit old isn't it?"

I guess same can be asked for a woman actually? What's "acceptable"?

45 is pushing it

My husband was 58 when our youngest was born. He's a brilliant Dad, fit and active and home to spend every day with them, school runs, assemblies, homework etc. And he looks a good 15 years younger so had never been mistaken for grandad. There are definite upsides to an older Dad.

I think late forties for both parents. Around 47.

But that’s just a personal view.

@m0therofdragons

My great grandfather was 82 when his wife had their last child. She was a lot younger. Completely weird but apparently not that weird in the part of Ireland he was in.

Interestingly, me and DH were discussing this issue last night @m0therofdragons. Apparently this was not an unusual phenomenon for a period, in relation to The Famine - he said fathers were expected not to marry/have kids until they were financially stable enough to support a family, and due to the way the country was ravaged, this took many years. He gave an example down the line in his family, I forget the numbers but a gap that many would be shocked by now.

This came up due to discussing a couple we know with a 30yr age gap and dad is in his 70s with a toddler. I am judgey of this - when there’s a good chance of death before the child reaches adulthood, that’s not right to me. But DH thought crack on - up to them -and claims he wouldn’t mind if our DDs were in relationships like this! He thinks a good old dad for a short few years is better than a rubbish younger dad or none at all. Fair point but still! Good younger dad would be best imo! Probably about 50 like pps have said is my limit.

Are you really going to give up chance to have a child you really want because others may judge? (She says just having revealed her judgementalness ) It’s your life. You’re within a range that’s in your children’s interests imo - go for it if you both want.

As long as he can get an erection and ejaculate and some woman wants it.

@AlwaysLatte

My husband was 58 when our youngest was born. He's a brilliant Dad, fit and active and home to spend every day with them, school runs, assemblies, homework etc. And he looks a good 15 years younger so had never been mistaken for grandad. There are definite upsides to an older Dad.

At 58 when the baby was born I suspect he has been Mistaken as the grandparent, so one has just ever said to your faces.

I was mistaken for a grandparent of my once. I was late thirties, and I am cursed with looking young for my age (has caused issues For me in work with people assuming I am not sufficiently experienced, so it’s not a brag).

A 58 year old new dad will be in his seventies when the child is in secondary school. My dad is 72, fit and healthy, dresses well and is active. He has never been mistaken for my 13 year old nephews dad.

My husband was four months off 55 when DS (his only child) was born in January. He looks about ten years younger than that, buy obviously that might change. He's in great shape and has never had any health problems

I think late 40s is pushing it; the activeness of preschoolers is hard enough in my 30s

It absolutely depends on circumstances, especially whether he already has much older children and how old the other parent is, health and finances.

You laugh at "it depends how rich he is", and of course it is ironically funny because its true... At least if a 70 year old millionaire fathers a baby he won't leave the mother and young child destitute if he dies two years later... but it's obviously not ideal! Statistically people in poorer areas also have lower life expectancy of course, due to access to healthy food, often better healthcare etc etc. so unfortunately wealth is a factor...

People are always very defensive when the likelihood of living to see his offspring into independent adulthood is mentioned, but it is irresponsible and selfish IMO to have a baby if you're statistically unlikely to live toosee their 25th birthday.

So I'd say on balance mid 50s is the latest responsible age age for a healthy, solvent man who doesn't have teenaged or adult children already to father a new baby. I do think its arseholery to start a brand new family if it'll mean not playing a proper role in the life of existing children and grandchildren, so starting a second family in his mid 50s is different than a first.

My dad is 72, fit and healthy, dresses well and is active. He has never been mistaken for my 13 year old nephews dad.
Perhaps he has been mistaken for his Dad, only no one has said it to his face.

60's, definitely too old in my opinion.
Ex has met someone half his age and now has a baby, he's 61, soon to be 62.
To be truthful, I'm horrified although it isn't my business really. Poor kid is going to be a teenager with a dad in his 70's and go to University when dad is 80...assuming the kid doesn't lose his father while young.

I guess I'm partly irritated by the whole thing because our own children are in their 30's and suffered huge neglect from their father when young, and now watch the 'new' family with another woman their same age, it doesn't seem right somehow.

Guess it colours my reaction to your question too much....

I think Rod Stewart had his youngest at 64? Hes 75 now..

@AlwaysLatte

My dad is 72, fit and healthy, dresses well and is active. He has never been mistaken for my 13 year old nephews dad. Perhaps he has been mistaken for his Dad, only no one has said it to his face.

😂 possibly.

But my point is your husband is comfortably in the grandparent age bracket, my dad is not in the normal parent age bracket.

These men are always described as looking ten to fifteen years younger than their actual age. I wonder is that really the case, or are their partners comparing them to a stereotypical or dated image of what they think a sixty year old man should look like?

I work with a lot of man in this age bracket. Most dress well and take care of themselves. However, I have never Knowingly come across a man in his late fifties who l would mistake as in his early forties.

I personally do think 58 is too old to have a baby. But my view is irrelevant to your life.

Everyone gets tetchy about age but from the experiences of some of my friends, having an older dad is a massive issue. I have friends whose DH won't pay for Uni costs as he's now on a pension and won't support hobbies and anything that costs money for the DC. I have another friend whose DH is 70+ and her young teenagers just hate that they don't get to do much with him at all and haven't had the experience their peers do with their parents.

You might think age doesn't matter, but it does.
I think the goalposts have moved a bit but in my day, 40 was pushing it for both men and women.

I think Rod Stewart had his youngest at 64? Hes 75 now..

Just because you could, doesn't mean you should.

I think most people would prefer their own parents to be 30-35 when they have them. A friend had an older parent and admitted to me that their childhood was spent crying themselves to sleep, worrying about them dying.

*These men are always described as looking ten to fifteen years younger than their actual age. I wonder is that really the case, or are their partners comparing them to a stereotypical or dated image of what they think a sixty year old man should look like?

I work with a lot of man in this age bracket. Most dress well and take care of themselves. However, I have never Knowingly come across a man in his late fifties who l would mistake as in his early forties.

I personally do think 58 is too old to have a baby. But my view is irrelevant to your life.*

I agree, I imagine the women who describe their ancient OH as looking '10-15 years younger' are basing this on the superdry hoody they bought them and their new trendy haircut

a 58 year old is FIFTY EIGHT years old. 2 years off 60. No amount of skinny jeans or stones roses albums will change that

DH was 62. Im 20 years younger. Ive already had a lots of shaming on here because of it.
To a large extent it depends on the physical fitness and mental age and energy if the man. We have never met anyone who eho has remotely guessed anywhere near my husband's age as he in every way seems much younger. He owns his own business which is now established so has time to spend with our child which is a huge luxury many younger fathers simply wouldn't have.

@GlamGiraffe

DH was 62. Im 20 years younger. Ive already had a lots of shaming on here because of it. To a large extent it depends on the physical fitness and mental age and energy if the man. We have never met anyone who eho has remotely guessed anywhere near my husband's age as he in every way seems much younger. He owns his own business which is now established so has time to spend with our child which is a huge luxury many younger fathers simply wouldn't have.

But people flatter when guessing age. Maybe he looks in his late fifties, but I truly doubt he looks in his forties.

62 is really quite old to become a dad. Being seventy when the child is still in primary school, and older than a lot of grandparents. I live in quite an affluent area, so we do have lots of older parents. But a seventy year old man collecting an eight year will be assumed as the grandparent. As will an eighty year old dropping his child at university.

People make choices, and I assume you weighed all this up. I just think people need to be sure they are being realistic and not viewing their much older spouses through rose tinted glasses.

50 with very good life assurance!

55 - 60 , 50 - 55 for women . So a man gets a little leeway . Just my view of course and the real answer is its down to the individuals .

I imagine the women who describe their ancient OH as looking '10-15 years younger' are basing this on the superdry hoody they bought them and their new trendy haircut a 58 year old is FIFTY EIGHT years old. 2 years off 60. No amount of skinny jeans or stones roses albums will change that
Pretty nasty comment.
My husband isn't into trendy clothes at all, certainly not skinny jeans, but his hair, face and body and fitness belie his age and people are always very surprised when the find out his age. I was stunned when we first met as I thought he was much younger.
Lot of stereotyping and assumptions on this thread. And nastiness.

45

It isn’t nasty. There’s nothing wrong with being or looking in your sixties. The assumption that it’s somehow shameful and it’s possible to avoid by being “fit” or “sharp” is delusional.

@Magpiecomplex
I am sure you look great !
I am convinced having a little one is keeping me young though I may be deluding myself there.

Pretty funny comment