What's the oldest "acceptable" age a man can father his last baby?

[sausagedoglove]

What do you think? 39? 52? 65? How old would a man have to be when having his last child for you to think "that's a bit old isn't it?"

I guess same can be asked for a woman actually? What's "acceptable"?

I know someone whose 18 and his fathers 91

50ish.

My Dad was 43 when I was born and 54 when my youngest sister was born he is still alive at 96

We are older parents to our youngest who is 6 now . We are both 56 .
It feels no different to having our others in terms of energy and coping. Our children are 30, 28, 21, 14 and 6 .
However people do always assume we are grandparents so your husband may have to get used to that.
Each to their own I say. Incidentally Mark thingy from Take That was saying how he is not enjoying being a father again in his 50s so it's not for everyone . I felt for his boys having to read that in the national press when they are old enough to understand

I don't know, maybe ask Rod Stewart/Mick Jagger/Michael Douglas/Paul McCartney/Clint Eastwood/Robert DeNiro?

Rod Stewart has said he feels he's too old to have more in his 70s but Mick Jagger didn't agree and had one aged 73.

It's entirely up to the individual. Some older fathers can be very hands on and involved, sometimes more so than their younger counterparts.

My grandfather was an elderly dad, by accident, his health was already failing leaving him disabled. He said that whilst he wasn't able to play sports and run around with the youngest like he did with the older ones he had more time and enjoyed reading, music and other things with the youngest. He lived long enough to see the youngest marry and was a very well loved father.

After 50 I'd probably start to think 'oh he's getting older' but not 'too old' and definitely wouldn't judge or make comments about it. So much comes down to the individuals and the family and I think there are more important factors than age.

DH didn’t want to have children once he was in his forties.

It’s an individual thing, but I had a neighbour who had a child in his late sixties (third marriage). Retired so became a sahd, and he looked exhausted all the time, and out of his depth. I used to see him letting the toddler play in his car at nine o’clock at night - “He loves cars”. Kid seemed like a handful and there weren’t many boundaries in evidence from what I could see. The last time I saw him, he must have been past seventy, dealing with an exuberant primary school boy. I feel tired just thinking about it.

Personally i think anything over 50 is pushing it but i have also heard of older parents and haven't even thought anything of it as its just my personal opinion.

I think 50 is the age where I would be quite surprised to hear that a man was having a child.

IMO the point at which you are old enough to comfortably be their grandparent is too old.

Also if you have adult children.

And I do think that parents should at the very least consider that they will die when the children are younger, even as adults and the impact that will have. Obviously anything can happen at any time, but death in the elderly is a fact not a possibility.

My DP doesn’t want any after 40. We had our son when he was 37 and our second is due a few days after his 39th birthday so were done.

@flapjackfairy

We are older parents to our youngest who is 6 now . We are both 56 . It feels no different to having our others in terms of energy and coping. Our children are 30, 28, 21, 14 and 6 . However people do always assume we are grandparents so your husband may have to get used to that. Each to their own I say. Incidentally Mark thingy from Take That was saying how he is not enjoying being a father again in his 50s so it's not for everyone . I felt for his boys having to read that in the national press when they are old enough to understand

At 56 did you conceive naturally? Or ivf assisted?

My friend's Dad was 64 when she was born (her mum was 47). He was a wonderful man but 75 when I met my friend at secondary school. He was an old man in our eyes, very old fashioned and sat in his chair with a blanket. The parenting fell to her Mum who did the organising, housework, school runs, attending events etc and he was a benevolent, kindly grandfather type with a terrier curled up on his feet, telling tales of the war and how the country wasn't what it once was. He was older than my grandparents and a lot more frail. He died when my friend was in her last year of university. Of course she wouldn't have changed things but I know it was challenging and ultimately, sad that he wasn't a father figure in the traditional sense. Her older brother ended up assuming that role, giving her away at her wedding and caring for his Mum who was widowed before they'd even had grandchildren.

Was it ideal? Nope. But what is?

I think they should be physically and financially be able to support them until at least the age of 18 as a bare minimum. So, I suppose, be below pension age at that time.

I think it depends if it's the first baby. I wouldn't pay much mind to a guy having his first a bit later in life but when he's on his third wife (who miraculously always get younger) and 7th kid at 50-60 (or 90, Bernie Eccleston ) I find it really a bit pathetic and I feel a bit sorry for the kid.

@mikkyr
Neither. We adopted.

[quote flapjackfairy]@mikkyr
Neither. We adopted.[/quote]
Thank you for replying!

When you get to Bernie Eccelstone’s age

Sorry, actually BEFORE you get to his age I mean

89 according to Bernie Ecclestone.

@IHaveAGreyLamp you beat me to it!

My DP was 41 when DC1 was born and 45 when DC2 arrived.
He is very active and doesn't look his 52 years, he does worry that he won't be around as his dad died in his early 60's, so it's almost like he thinks it would happen to him.

45 for both parents. Anything older is extremely selfish, and the child will miss out on having young and active parent for any part of their life.

I'm always a bit at men who have their first child in their 50s. They clearly couldn't be arsed with it during their youth and didn't want to miss out on any partying (yuk) but want a legacy without having to do any work, so find a young woman who'll do all the work.

@flapjackfairy i was 35 when I had our younger child, and have been assumed to be their grandmother by a random person before now! I don't think they've aged me that much...