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Labour friend awful about tories

290 replies

tabicae · 05/11/2020 18:08

NC as probably outing. I have a very close friend who is there for me though everything really and I am for them. We have always avoided politics and have had very different backgrounds. Given what’s been going on recently I’m politics, it’s been hard to avoid the topic.

Whilst I personally have no massive political leaning and can see both sides without coming down massively on either one, she knows that I was brought up in a Tory household and although I have never disclosed who I would vote for, she knows I am on the fence about things and like some Tory polices and some labour. A lot of my childhood was based around things she seems to strongly dislike and is open about...private schools, inheritance, private health, second homes etc.

Anyway..getting to the point. She has become VERY vocal about these things. Slagging off private education and people who went to them (always careful to say ‘there are exceptions’). Being critical of second homes yet happily staying in my parents second homes free of charge for a holiday. And it goes on like that.

She has recently become quite vulgar about tories, calling them and Boris c*nts, etc. I know I feel defensive about this as my dad is a very generous, caring man and he voted for Boris. It feels quite personal.

I’ve noticed that it seems ok on social media and in conversation to being vulgar about tories/anyone who aligns themselves with any Tory policies, yet it is unacceptable to ever do the same if you are a Tory talking about a labour supporter. In fact I am yet to hear a Tory speak so awfully about someone who votes for another party. I feel like her comments are getting in between our friendship and whilst I always knew we differed on this topic it has never ever been an issue between us.

I’m not sure what to say really...maybe she’s always had this view of me and my family and is only now vocalising it? Would you address it?

OP posts:
SantaRosahome · 05/11/2020 18:24

“In fact I am yet to hear a Tory speak so awfully about someone who votes for another party“

Hahaha I was going to say I’m sure you can find a lot of common ground but this is clearly a goady post. You might want to check out the Daily Mail and the Sun.

Deathgrip · 05/11/2020 18:34

In fact I am yet to hear a Tory speak so awfully about someone who votes for another party.

Perhaps they’re too busy talking that way about the disabled, poor, immigrants, BAME people etc? Some of the nastiest things I’ve ever heard in my life have come from Tory voters, and some from Labour voters. Nastiness is not exclusive to left wingers, obviously.

If you don’t want to talk about politics, tell her you don’t want to talk about it.

somelemons · 05/11/2020 18:39

Forget party politics for a moment. Whatever happened to "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all."?

Do you really want a friend who is so intolerant and contemptuous of the views and lifestyles of others, including you?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

33goingon64 · 05/11/2020 18:44

It sounds as though she has beef with this particular government if it has got worse recently. I can't blame her for that. Unlike any Tory government I've known before, this one combines utter incompetence with brazen cruelty and corruption. You must be blind if you can't understand that point of view (even if you don't agree with it).

katiegoestoaldi · 05/11/2020 18:49

Goady post, I can't see at all how a 'generous and caring' person could ever vote Tory unless they live under a rock and have no clue of the misery the Tories have caused children, the disabled and vulnerable, the working poor and BAME people

If one was truly caring their conscious would never permit them to vote Tory

SheepandCow · 05/11/2020 18:51

@somelemons

Forget party politics for a moment. Whatever happened to "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all."?

Do you really want a friend who is so intolerant and contemptuous of the views and lifestyles of others, including you?

This
ShriekingSnapdragonBat · 05/11/2020 18:51

Shhh! Daily Mail is watching.....

tabicae · 05/11/2020 18:51

Eh? Goady how exactly? I’m simply stating a fact, I have literally never heard something nasty said personally about a labour voter. Yet my friend is calling tories and the PM cunts? It’s not goady it’s an observation.

I agree with some of her views, that’s not my issue. I can debate politics all day long and not feel insulated or offended. But clearly when she’s using that sort of language about people who have done similar things to my own family, it seems unnecessary and nasty. This isn’t comments like ‘the free school means thing was a fucking disaster.’ It’s stuff like ‘people who’s parents paid for private school are as fucked up as the ones who pay for it’ Hmm

OP posts:
Ohalrightthen · 05/11/2020 18:52

@katiegoestoaldi

Goady post, I can't see at all how a 'generous and caring' person could ever vote Tory unless they live under a rock and have no clue of the misery the Tories have caused children, the disabled and vulnerable, the working poor and BAME people

If one was truly caring their conscious would never permit them to vote Tory

Yup, sorry, i imagine your dad, like mine, votes with his wallet not his conscience, because if he had one, he wouldn't be voting Tory.
tabicae · 05/11/2020 18:53

It’s classic mumsnet to call a post goady simply when a poster doesn’t agree with it. The point of my post was about how to deal about this issue with my friend...but thanks all the same.

OP posts:
Cheesypea · 05/11/2020 18:53

Then defend your political position to your friend then.

katiegoestoaldi · 05/11/2020 18:53

Sorry, conscience Blush

dotoallasyouwouldbedoneby · 05/11/2020 18:55

Tell her to grow up...

tabicae · 05/11/2020 18:56

Well obviously more than half HAVE voted Tory to have them in power?!

I actually didn’t vote Tory in the last election, not that it is relevant to the point of my post!

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 05/11/2020 18:57

I understand it must seem really personal. I think I'd have to chip in with a comment like, "You didn't call my dad a cunt when he let you stay in his holiday home, did you?"

tabicae · 05/11/2020 18:57

cheesy this is missing the point. It’s not about a political difference it’s about the way she talks about people who have had similar experiences to me and the way she writes off anyone who has any connection to a Tory mindset

OP posts:
justchecking1 · 05/11/2020 18:59

Can you not just reiterate your preference not to talk politics? Will she respect that?

Merlinsmaid · 05/11/2020 18:59

I grew up in a Tory household but would stick pins in my eye before I'd vote for them.

Can't stand them.

BigBlueHouseBear · 05/11/2020 19:00

Then why don't you give her the alternative then?

Like, it's not cunty to refuse to feed starving children in poverty.

Or it's not cunty to take a pay rise for yourself but clap when a pay rise for nurses was blocked.

Oh....

katiegoestoaldi · 05/11/2020 19:01

I'm sure it's upsetting to hear your father being called a cunt, especially when your friend has used his second home

However I don't think it's unreasonable at all to think Tory voters are cunts when you consider the policies of the party they're voting for. The Tory party and those who voted them in have caused a massive amount of suffering and damage to society

Hayeahnobut · 05/11/2020 19:03

my dad is a very generous, caring man and he voted for Boris.

Do you mean he cares for people like himself? If he genuinely cared about others, he wouldn't have voted for ten years of austerity. More and more people living in poverty whilst the rich get even richer.

sausagedoglove · 05/11/2020 19:04

The responses on here 😂 FFS. Completely missing the point everyone.

There's a lot of virtue on the left, and they feel the need to tell everyone about how enlightened they are.

OP if it's really upsetting you then defriend. Otherwise, bite your tongue.

Summerstorms · 05/11/2020 19:04

well, that's because Tories are cunts

Cheesypea · 05/11/2020 19:05

You have to choices ignore your differences or tackle them head on.

katiegoestoaldi · 05/11/2020 19:05

Yes sausage because if you don't like the Tories you must be on the left Hmm