Labour friend awful about tories

[tabicae]

NC as probably outing. I have a very close friend who is there for me though everything really and I am for them. We have always avoided politics and have had very different backgrounds. Given what’s been going on recently I’m politics, it’s been hard to avoid the topic.

Whilst I personally have no massive political leaning and can see both sides without coming down massively on either one, she knows that I was brought up in a Tory household and although I have never disclosed who I would vote for, she knows I am on the fence about things and like some Tory polices and some labour. A lot of my childhood was based around things she seems to strongly dislike and is open about...private schools, inheritance, private health, second homes etc.

Anyway..getting to the point. She has become VERY vocal about these things. Slagging off private education and people who went to them (always careful to say ‘there are exceptions’). Being critical of second homes yet happily staying in my parents second homes free of charge for a holiday. And it goes on like that.

She has recently become quite vulgar about tories, calling them and Boris c*nts, etc. I know I feel defensive about this as my dad is a very generous, caring man and he voted for Boris. It feels quite personal.

I’ve noticed that it seems ok on social media and in conversation to being vulgar about tories/anyone who aligns themselves with any Tory policies, yet it is unacceptable to ever do the same if you are a Tory talking about a labour supporter. In fact I am yet to hear a Tory speak so awfully about someone who votes for another party. I feel like her comments are getting in between our friendship and whilst I always knew we differed on this topic it has never ever been an issue between us.

I’m not sure what to say really...maybe she’s always had this view of me and my family and is only now vocalising it? Would you address it?

Crikey what a ridiculous post and point of view. It doesn’t follow that because your friend believes the Tories are cunts, that she’s calling your Dad a cunt. One is true, the other probably isn’t.

The responses on here actually underline my point! More people voted Tory than didn’t... yet those commenting nasty things here are all non-tories. If you can’t say anything nice... springs to mind.

Once again, I didn’t actually vote Tory. It’s not about the specific voting it is about the language used to talk about my family and people I am associated with. It’s becoming difficult to be around her as her comments are so vulgar and personal.

@tabicae

The responses on here actually underline my point! More people voted Tory than didn’t... yet those commenting nasty things here are all non-tories. If you can’t say anything nice... springs to mind.

Once again, I didn’t actually vote Tory. It’s not about the specific voting it is about the language used to talk about my family and people I am associated with. It’s becoming difficult to be around her as her comments are so vulgar and personal.

Why didn’t you vote Tory?

Give the OP a break and stop insulting her family, FFS. Some of you are making me embarrassed to be left of centre.

OP I have the opposite problem with a couple who are my oldest friends. They are Tory, I'm not. I tried to keep saying "That's not my experience" and not get riled. But in the end we agreed that we'd just not talk about politics. They're good people and they're not uncaring at all.

However, in your case I would point out to get that she's been happy to stay in your parents' homes for free, and can you assume that she'll no longer take advantage of that.

Maybe time to mute her on facebook? You can still see what she is up to if you want to but she won't come up on your feed.

I have people like this on my friends list too, I assume they would like more people to vote for labor in the future yet spend much of their time character assassinating anyone who isn't from exactly the same background as them, its really odd.

@katiegoestoaldi

Goady post, I can't see at all how a 'generous and caring' person could ever vote Tory unless they live under a rock and have no clue of the misery the Tories have caused children, the disabled and vulnerable, the working poor and BAME people

If one was truly caring their conscious would never permit them to vote Tory

I can't imagine how anyone caring or generous could vote for this shitshow of a government unless they're stupid.

There is a difference between this government which is one of the Conservative party, and a Conservative government.

The Conservative Party supports business, is one of traditional Christian morals (C of E the Tories at prayer), supports law and order, and economic competence.

None of these apply to the current government that is run by an American born man of Turkish heritage who leaves his wife whilst she is undergoing cancer treatment for a woman over 20 years younger, after a four year affair exploiting a vulnerable tech entrepreneur.

It beats me how anyone can claim to be 'caring and generous' then vote for an Eton educated millionaire who votes for welfare cuts while claiming expenses for himself.

I've always maintained that if people are reliant on foodbanks then the economy is broken.

If I had a gun pointed to my head at the polling booth I'd let someone pull the trigger before voting Tory.

No advice op but can empathise with your situation. I'm quite centralist in my politics and see pro/cons of both torys/labour. Id say that labour voters are more inclined to be openly disparaging of tory voters in real life whereas tory voters only seem to do this online. In real life id deffo say tory voters are more polite.

I'm not sure what your point is that more people voted Tory than not, Hitler got more votes than his opponents...

Although the Tories have been in power for ten years, regular Tory voters know exactly what they're voting for. The cunts.

@Merlinsmaid

It beats me how anyone can claim to be 'caring and generous' then vote for an Eton educated millionaire who votes for welfare cuts while claiming expenses for himself.

I've always maintained that if people are reliant on foodbanks then the economy is broken.

If I had a gun pointed to my head at the polling booth I'd let someone pull the trigger before voting Tory.

They mean ‘caring and generous’ to people just like them. Not children, or people living in poverty, or the elderly. Or arguably an entire United Kingdom who were sold a lie and are now going to be shafted rather than admit they were stupid and wrong.

@tabicae

The responses on here actually underline my point! More people voted Tory than didn’t... yet those commenting nasty things here are all non-tories. If you can’t say anything nice... springs to mind.

Once again, I didn’t actually vote Tory. It’s not about the specific voting it is about the language used to talk about my family and people I am associated with. It’s becoming difficult to be around her as her comments are so vulgar and personal.

Actually more people didn't vote Tory than did. That's the problem with FPTP.

Noss the rot set in ten years ago, you can't just blame BoJo

I would drop her. I can stand people like this, whatever political side they are on. It is so childish to resort to insults - the OP draws a distinction between those who would argue a political point and those who just say that everyone who doesn’t agree with me is a cunt.

MPs have friendships across the party lines. I have friends with different opinions to mine. It should be possible to do this but your friend is just being rude.

The hypocrisy of slagging of second homes and their cuntish owners whilst accepting free holidays in a second home is staggering.

Tell her she’s upsetting you and you’d rather not talk about politics. If she can’t let it go then I’d stop seeing her so much. It’s possible to be friends with someone without sharing all the same beliefs if you both want to.

I get you. I have never voted Tory and will never vote Tory in my life, I have huge issues with some of their actions etc. Increasingly a lot of my leftwing friends are like this on FB 'fuck the Tories, the Tories are cunts,' etc. It makes me really uncomfortable.

I think people have a right to be angry and a lot of people are so deeply frustrated by Brexit, by how the pandemic has been handled, by the impact austerity has had and so on. I do get the feelings of being powerless to change it. It still doesn't sit right with me. There has been no opposition for a long time now - the Labour part is also therefore responsible for the state of things. They have been so ineffective and weak.. And so many people voted Tory at the last election - I don't think it helps to vent like that and insult voters. Things have become so divided and everyone is so angry. Why do I admire people like Mandela? Because he wasn't walking around going 'fuck white people,' he spoke eloquently and passionately and changed the world far more for doing so.

Goady post, I can't see at all how a 'generous and caring' person could ever vote Tory unless they live under a rock and have no clue of the misery the Tories have caused children, the disabled and vulnerable, the working poor and BAME people

If one was truly caring their conscious would never permit them to vote Tory

agree with this

find it hard to believe a caring person would vote for the government we have

My Mum has very different politics to mine.

You either
A. Engage in a (hopefully) intelligent and interesting debate
Or
B. Change the subject as quickly as possible
And
C. Be careful who you introduce them to or decide not to care

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, they are entitled to express it vocally. The second homes criticism is a bit hypocritical I agree, but let's be honest, are all of us consistent with our values all the time?

I personally would find it hard to be close friends to anyone who calls anyone c**ts, putting politics aside. The idea that it's acceptable is ridiculous. It just is what it is and most people ignore it.

The fact is that the gap has grown wider between the richest and poorest and people are frustrated. Its naive to think either party is without its faults.

One thing I quite like to do is ask, ok if you were PM what would you do, or how would you fix the xx issue. Sometimes I learn something, sometimes not.

I have friends who voted Labour, friends who voted tory. I try and find common ground when any politics comes up. I can find policies on both sides I agree with. If you value her friendship try and highlight this common group. We're not all that different. We often also want the same outcomes, but have different ideas about how to get there through policy.

Im usually pretty moderate but it can be hard to be quiet when you feel strongly about something or if you dont think it should be negotiable.

It doesnt sound like its directed at specific people but is more ideological

Not a Tory supporter BUT I get what you mean OP. I work in universities and constantly feel like I’m on the receiving end of foul mouthed political ranting about the Tories, private education, trans rights, feminism, anti-Christian vitriol, Trump, Brexit etc. Even though I agree with a few of the topics I’m tired of it. I don’t want to hear it. It’s boring and narcissistic to constantly droll on in a self righteous offensive intolerant manner. And I can’t escape it. I had a JOB INTERVIEW last week and the head of the panel managed to turn it into a FUCK THE TORIES rant even though it had nothing to do with my interview.

It’s only people who love the sound of their own voice who do this and it’s really bad manners and inconsiderate of others.

I’m simply stating a fact, I have literally never heard something nasty said personally about a labour voter.

Maybe because they're not horrible 😂 😇

i can see what you mean OP.
you need to just tell her how it makes you feel.
and that while criticising people having second homes, she has been happy to stay in one herself, free by the generosity of a tory-voter. and how it hurts you to hear her talk so viciously of people like your parents.

She sounds very aggressive.
How does she justify the anti-semitism and racism in the Labour Party? Perhaps send her some of the interviews with Luciana Berger.

I'm getting the feeling that you're in your twenties? And that is an age when some of our friendships fall away. It sounds like this may be happening here, because "not discussing politics" doesn't work when one side is constantly calling other cunts.