Labour friend awful about tories

[tabicae]

NC as probably outing. I have a very close friend who is there for me though everything really and I am for them. We have always avoided politics and have had very different backgrounds. Given what’s been going on recently I’m politics, it’s been hard to avoid the topic.

Whilst I personally have no massive political leaning and can see both sides without coming down massively on either one, she knows that I was brought up in a Tory household and although I have never disclosed who I would vote for, she knows I am on the fence about things and like some Tory polices and some labour. A lot of my childhood was based around things she seems to strongly dislike and is open about...private schools, inheritance, private health, second homes etc.

Anyway..getting to the point. She has become VERY vocal about these things. Slagging off private education and people who went to them (always careful to say ‘there are exceptions’). Being critical of second homes yet happily staying in my parents second homes free of charge for a holiday. And it goes on like that.

She has recently become quite vulgar about tories, calling them and Boris c*nts, etc. I know I feel defensive about this as my dad is a very generous, caring man and he voted for Boris. It feels quite personal.

I’ve noticed that it seems ok on social media and in conversation to being vulgar about tories/anyone who aligns themselves with any Tory policies, yet it is unacceptable to ever do the same if you are a Tory talking about a labour supporter. In fact I am yet to hear a Tory speak so awfully about someone who votes for another party. I feel like her comments are getting in between our friendship and whilst I always knew we differed on this topic it has never ever been an issue between us.

I’m not sure what to say really...maybe she’s always had this view of me and my family and is only now vocalising it? Would you address it?

There were no credible alternatives to the Conservatives at the last election. That was on the Labour Party. I voted Labour, but it wasn't easy, it was the better local option.

I cannot hold it against anyone that they voted Conservative, it was a one horse race.

I agree with you OP. So many people seem to assume I vote Labour. Dare I say otherwise and I'm automatically labelled and assumptions made.

Funny how Labour didn't win the election though? 🤷🏼‍♀️

There are things I agree and disagree with both parties. But it just so happens I veer more towards Tory. I also think Boris is great and doing the best out of a shit situation. I believe ANY party running the country would be faced with the same dilemmas and can't see they'd handle it much differently.

@katiegoestoaldi

Goady post, I can't see at all how a 'generous and caring' person could ever vote Tory unless they live under a rock and have no clue of the misery the Tories have caused children, the disabled and vulnerable, the working poor and BAME people

If one was truly caring their conscious would never permit them to vote Tory

This with bells on

Things Boris Johnson has done

Lied to the Queen.
Refused to facilitate the feeding of hungry children.
Had multiple affairs and is unsure how many children he has.
Referred to gay men as 'tank-topped bumboys'.
Likened Muslim women to 'bank robbers' and 'letterboxes'.
Described black people as 'piccaninnies' with 'watermelon smiles'
Discussed alcohol in a Sikh temple.
Said police funds had been 'spaffed up a wall' when they were used to investigate historic child sexual abuse.
Insulted entire cities and even countries.
Compared the EU to Adolf Hitler.
Likened Hillary Clinton to a sadistic mental health nurse.
Unlawfully shut down Parliament.

That's just off the top of my head. If I Googled it, this list would be twice as long. He's a class A cunt and a vote for a party led by this man implies a vote for racism, homophobia, lying, cheating and heartlessness.

@Mendocino

I quite likely will vote for Starmer. People don’t like being patronised, talked down to and being called cunts though. It’s not going to help is it? Back to the original question, all kinds of motives were ascribed to the Op and her dad even down to his charity work. We all have a vote and can use it and shouldn’t expect to be called a cunt for doing so. As I said originally, I have friends who vote both ways. That’s fine by me. Their choice. I am from a working class and ethnic background. I was the first person in my family to attend university and was helped on my way by the assisted places scheme that placed me in a local private school. My children attend Catholic schools that have high aspirations for working class children and outperform all other schools in the area. Social mobility and class are complex issues and no party has all the answers. I may be wrong and I accept that but when I hear Tory Cunt, I hear middle class white voices talking down to the’ less enlightened ‘. Like I say, I may be wrong but that is how it feels and it’s not a vote winner because it closes down alternate voices and people with concerns.

We’ve experienced similar rhetoric here in the US from militant Democrats ( and I’m sure hardline Republicans too, but the Dems are especially vocal). Biden has almost certainly won the presidency, which is a massive relief, but the “blue wave” in the House and Senate hasn’t materialized.

If you call anyone who’s ever voted Republican in their life a racist, anti-immigrant bigot, they’re not likely to listen to your policies, even if they may agree with some of them and don’t especially like the current person in the WH. Many LatinX voters identify as non-white immigrants and some vote Republican. Convince them otherwise instead of hurling irrelevant abuse.

A little civility and taking a leaf out of Nelson Mandela’s book would go a long way. And yes, I know there’s been no civility from the WH, but we don’t all need to stoop to that level.

OP, I have a friend who’s posted some vile statements online regarding anyone who doesn’t vote the way she does. I’ve had to distance myself from her, because every time I see her in person, those statements pop into my head. I suppose it’s shocked me as she’s always seemed so open-minded and nice in person, but she can’t be beneath the surface.☹️

[quote timeforanewstart]@tinierclanger then maybe people should of turned up for the vote to change the voting system , but they didn't and people always use this excuse , we had a chance to change it[/quote]
Not using it as an excuse at all, I agree that more people should vote. Just correcting an inaccuracy, it’s simply not true to say that most people voted Conservative, because they didn’t.

@viciousjacksaw so you think no black or asian or feminist etc voted for boris , its people like you that cannot understand ,maybe people vote for other policies or for other reasons for a certain party or maybe because the alternative was worse in their opinion.
And why do people go on about his affairs or not that is none of my business or yours , thats to do with his partners and re : kids just because he won't tell newspapers doesn't mean he doesn't know.
You don't understand freedom of choice quite clearly , did you not read my post ? Under a labour goverment i didn't have money to feed us easily , but there were no food banks so no one knew just how much people were struggling like myself , instead cc debt was easier to get to get us through and family helping
No goverment can fix everything we have had a mixture of goverments over the years if one was so great they wouldn't get voted out
But you keep name calling others of that makes you feel better

@Boomclaps so you don't think a single Bame , disabled or person with children voted Tory out of the millions of votes. ?
Why not just respect other people have different opinions its always the far left that name call etc on any forum i have been on , and it actually turns people away that are maybe on the fence
You are calling people names foe voting a certain way when you actually know nothing about that person , you have just made an assumption , which actually says more about you than them really

If people vote for c**ts... 🤷‍♀️

@tabicae in your original post you say in fact I am yet to hear a Tory speak so awfully about someone who votes for another party.

Well here you go:
nicky7654 She doesn't sound like someone I would want in my life. Typical nasty Labour supporter really!! The people who work damn hard for their luxuries and second homes pay an awful lot of tax to keep this country running, while the Snowflakes demand handouts and everything without bothering to work!! Be proud of your upbringing!

The suggestion that people fortunate enough to be on higher wages makes them harder working more deserving human beings is untrue. I say that from the position of being in a household that is lucky enough to be in one of the top income brackets. This sort of sentiment is ‘nasty’.

And for @ViciousJackdaw list on Johnson’s behaviours unbefitting for the UK PM you didn’t include that he has previously been sacked from a Ministerial position and from his job as a journalist - both for lying. That coupled with the fact he obviously lied to his own wife and family about multiple affairs and the manifesto lie about the ‘oven ready deal’ make it very hard to believe anything such
a seasoned liar says. This is based on the facts outlined it is not a party political slur.

This thread has shown that some people seem to exist in social groups where ideas are reflected back and groupthink develops. To not understand how a working class person, a BAME person etc. might vote conservative just shows an absolute lack of life experience ( and a very narrow social circle). It’s not hard. Talk to people and listen.

I’m not saying those people don’t vote Tory I’m saying the tories screw people over. Equally not sure why I’ve been @ as I think I only quoted a pp to agree?

Again, point made. Talk to people and understand the reasons.
I don’t think many people would think Boris Johnson is trustworthy. For me it was the best of a bad job.
I had an argument during the last election where I spelled out specific policies in the Corbyn manifesto that would directly and negatively impact the lives and opportunities of people in the area I live. It did swing to the Conservatives. Some of the ideological posturing( around schooling in this case) has real and direct implications for people’s lives and often people who are just struggling to improve the life chances of their children. If you are white and middle class and having a lovely experience with your local state secular school, great, but don’t assume your life experience is the same as others.

@Boomclaps do you not realise all politicians screw someone over
No party is good for everyone thats why people vote differently and why the party in power often changes every decade or so as people get fed up that promises made often aren't kept and they get voted out for us to follow same pattern again