Friends seem unhappy about our house move

[blarbed]

We are moving into a bigger house in the village where my children go to school. It has taken me by surprise that people, who are thought were friends, seem disappointed and negative about it. I'm the sort of person who bigs up my friends' achievements, so I find it hard to get my head around this. I'm presuming they are jealous or maybe feel threatened in some way? However, they live in houses similar to the one we are buying, so I don't really get it. Previously we were relatively less well off.

A couple of my friends have been very pleased and excited for us, but a close friend of mine could not hide her disappointment, written all over her face. She had nothing nice to say and instead asked how long our chain was (hoping it might not happen?). Another friend just avoided eye contact with me and did not say a single word for the whole conversation.

Another Mum, who I know more as an acquaintance, and who I will be moving around the corner from, just stepped away from the group, and kept her head down. I thought she had not heard that I'd be moving practically next door, so I mentioned it to her separately - and then her reaction showed she had heard, but did not seem happy about it. She does not know me very well but our sons are in the same year, so surely it's a nice thing that more school friends will be around?

WTF? Is this normal?

@CHiPS1971 wow. Talk about pissing on the OPs chips. You really can't declare all that as fact just based on the OPs posts. I'm sure she's not daft.

@MzHz

I think it’s unfair and catty throw “over invested” and the like at the op.

Who the fuck can’t fake a “oh congratulations!” When they don’t give a crap one way or another about someone moving home. It’s a big deal whenever anyone moves! Especially atm!

It costs nothing to be pleasant to someone who considers you a friend

Sadly FAR too many mum “friends”‘are ridiculously jealous of the slightest perception of anyone else having something they want

@blarbed as you can see from these responses, there are some lovely people in the world and there are some complete arses.

Things like this sort the wheat from the chaff. Yes you’ll hurt and be feeling utterly disappointed in their reactions, but just put a line through their names on the proverbial list of friends, don’t look back and dump and move on.

Exactly, I'm ignoring the catty responses. Thank you @MzHz and all those who have given me well-balanced responses and food for thought xx

I have never had to ask for advice on an online forum. Nor would I ever.

I think you must have had a pretty good impression of what Mumsnet is like, OP. Yet here you are.

[quote MacDuffsMuff]@CHiPS1971 wow. Talk about pissing on the OPs chips. You really can't declare all that as fact just based on the OPs posts. I'm sure she's not daft.[/quote]
What a revolting expression.

I offered my comments based on personal experience. I moved into a village from a long way away ( 100 miles away) . I found it impossible to make connections. My children went to sch in another village. I then sold up relocated and moved into that village , thinking my situation would improve re social interactions but it did not. In fact, previously friendly mums/ residents appeared to go out of their way to exclude, me once i had moved into the sch village.

I have since moved a 3rd time, now my children have finished sch and are much happier. I have joined my new community as a resident, not a sch mum. I also work full time and have my own life. I am happier and part of a community based on who i am and my job, not a sch mum at the mercy of friendship crumbs of other sch mums. I have my neighbours and work colleagues, not a sch mum in sight !

@ChiPS1971 Totally get where you're coming from. I'm worried the same may happen to me, particularly after reading some feedback on here, which has made me realise that I'm perhaps expecting too much. The mumsnet advice has been useful, and I will definitely go into this with less expectations. It's a shame I have little contact with other groups of mums as I'm a self-employed homeworker. It just takes longer to build up networks.

Happy to hear that you have now managed to find happiness in your community x

@Janegrey333

I have never had to ask for advice on an online forum. Nor would I ever.

I think you must have had a pretty good impression of what Mumsnet is like, OP. Yet here you are.

Some people have nobody they can ask for advice

Some people ask MN specifically because it’s anonymous

Some people have their husband cheat on them and they don’t want anyone to know in real life

Others have abusive parents or partners and everyone they know think the world of these hideous people.

If your life is so blessed as to never need any advice from a community like MN, you’re lucky.

Long may that last

Kindly don’t judge or berate those of us who do need a distanced view.

I’ve moved away from the village where sons primary was, I had a few friends there but lost some when my sons dad left, lost others because didn’t have a girl child and was excluded from that little network, then moved to house a million miles better than where we were.

I hopework now and struggle to make a network

Bloody Covid isn’t helping either, the friends I did have a lot have gone a little loopy with it all, others have shown how truly unimportant I am to them, even though I’d kept them going all through lockdown 1.

I’d rather a very few good friends than a gaggle of the kind you’ve found @blarbed

You’ll get through this. It won’t always be like this and you won’t always care about people like them

(((Hug)))

@blarbed move to where is right for you and your family. If being in sch village will be good for your routine, daily time management and your children, then that is good.

I would respectfully suggest that you do not make the move based solely on improving your social interactions , as that may not happen. It may happen and i hope it does. But, just don't make it your sole reason for moving. Based on the reactions you have described in your initial post, they are little red flags. Good luck OP.