Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Man refuses to get out of shared lift

232 replies

Georgeoftheinternet · 03/11/2020 00:37

Obviously we don’t know the whole story but it would appear that a person wanted to share a lift by themself.

Others facts - he may have alluded to her having corona. He record her. Neither wear wearing masks. Enclosed space.

Thoughts?

My personal thoughts are that she was in the right. If she wanted to use the lift by herself than I think people should respect her decision. To go around ranting, recording and speaking to her in a raised voice, especially given her reaction - than he’s out of order.

OP posts:
workshy44 · 03/11/2020 00:43

I wouldn't share a lift with anyone at the moment. Confined space with no ventilation. That being said I would probably have just got out and let him go first and waited for the next one as it does say two people are allowed
He was extremely aggressive and I hate this thing now of recording people and putting it out there for the world to vilify them

Sally872 · 03/11/2020 00:47

Why should she get the lift to herself? Lift is for 2 people if she is not happy with that don't use it or wait until nobody else wants in the lift. You can expect others not to use lift. What if someone wants a bus to themselves? Should everyone else wait for another bus?

PlanDeRaccordement · 03/11/2020 00:47

Depends who was in the lift first?
If she was first, then I agree she can reasonably refuse to share lift due to Covid and no masks
If he was first, then she is being very unreasonable to ask him to get out the lift. She should wait for an empty one.

Georgeoftheinternet · 03/11/2020 00:48

@workshy44

I wouldn't share a lift with anyone at the moment. Confined space with no ventilation. That being said I would probably have just got out and let him go first and waited for the next one as it does say two people are allowed He was extremely aggressive and I hate this thing now of recording people and putting it out there for the world to vilify them
Who knows what was said before...... seems the Internet is on his side.

The sign may say two people, based on what? Because there is no 2 metre marks and I don’t think the lift is that big. Also had the lift said 10 people ok - would you still have got in because “the sign said so”.

I feel so sorry for this female.

OP posts:
AcornAutumn · 03/11/2020 00:49

My thoughts are

The sign says two people in the lift

If she objects to that, she should get out and wait.

Bunniesitmustbebunnies · 03/11/2020 00:49

If she wanted to use the lift by herself she should have got out and waited for the next one.

I’m assuming that it wasn’t her personal lift and that coronavirus restrictions dictated that 2 people could safely share the lift.

The guy was obviously frustrated that she wouldn’t let the lift leave, holding them both up.

Unfortunately recording confrontations had become the social norm for a few reasons.

  1. to try and shame the other person into being more reasonable
  2. To have video evidence if they become violent.
  3. To have video evidence of the exchange so that wrongful accusations cannot be made afterwards.

I don’t think he sounded abusive or aggressive, more exasperated at her behaviour.

AcornAutumn · 03/11/2020 00:50

Btw I live in a tall block, we use the lift.

If you want to be alone in the lift, you wait.

workshy44 · 03/11/2020 00:51

Me too, I do think it matters who was in the lift first though. It also looks like the video is edited.

AcornAutumn · 03/11/2020 00:56

@workshy44

Me too, I do think it matters who was in the lift first though. It also looks like the video is edited.
Yes, it’s edited.

But if she was in the lift first or second, he’s still allowed in.

And what’s the maintenance company thinking about the button being pressed, hopefully they have a way to tell it’s not an emergency.

I hate the whole “Karen” thing.

PlanDeRaccordement · 03/11/2020 00:59

Who’s to say this isn’t the next lift that she has waited for and he’s jumping on mid way up? Or getting on just as the doors were about to close? We can’t tell from the video who got on the lift first. I do, however, think it is pretty likely to be the woman because the first person on a lift is usually the one who stands by the control panel.

Bunniesitmustbebunnies · 03/11/2020 00:59

I think it may look edited as they are using Snapchat or ones those types of things and then have to edit the short videos together. I don’t use those apps so I may be wrong.

I think the fact that she gets out at the end when someone else is present to witness the behaviour says it all.

Georgeoftheinternet · 03/11/2020 01:01

@Bunniesitmustbebunnies

I think it may look edited as they are using Snapchat or ones those types of things and then have to edit the short videos together. I don’t use those apps so I may be wrong.

I think the fact that she gets out at the end when someone else is present to witness the behaviour says it all.

Someone else is present to witness the behaviour? What do you mean?
OP posts:
Dastardlythefriendlymutt · 03/11/2020 01:04

Lifts currently say 1 household at a time in our area and to prioritise the disabled and parents with buggies.

I have a toddler and buggy and need to use the lift. As people dont often follow instructions and I prefer to avoid alterations - it often takes ages to take one as I hust get out after reminding anyone who comes in after me that the sign says 1 household.

It's quite annoying as well as there is an escalator right next to the lifts and people seem determined to take the lift but hidden disabilities and all, so you can'tjudge. If I didn't have a buggy I would gladly save time and take the escalator.

I find the parents and mobility impaired people the compliant and patient as we queue and wait for one another and don't insist on sharing a lift. But you will find healthy looking people just arrive shove to the front and try and get in with you despite the signs saying 1 household at a time. I just get out and leave them to it.

AcornAutumn · 03/11/2020 01:09

Bunnies “ I think the fact that she gets out at the end when someone else is present to witness the behaviour says it all.”

Me too.

Dastardlythefriendlymutt · 03/11/2020 01:10

I've just watched it. There is no reason to hold it up though. He does sound frustrated. I know I have waited upwards of 20 minutes for the lift though so I understand his frustration.

The instructions say 2 people at a time - then if you are not comfortable with the rules don't use the lift. If I was in the lift and someone wanted to get in the lift and I was uncomfortable sharing, I would exit and wait for the next one as I am the one being more conservative than the rules.

Dastardlythefriendlymutt · 03/11/2020 01:11

@AcornAutumn

Bunnies “ I think the fact that she gets out at the end when someone else is present to witness the behaviour says it all.”

Me too.

Agreed
DeRigueurMortis · 03/11/2020 01:15

Tbh I'd have more "sympathy" for either of them if they were wearing masks.

Yellownotblue · 03/11/2020 01:21

I think he’s in the wrong. The sign says maximum two people, but there is nothing forcing her to accept another passenger. It’s a pandemic. We’re told not to share cars, why would lifts be safer?

The fact she is identified as an ‘Asian Karen’, in and of itself, points to blatant misogyny , racism and ageism. Heaven forbids a woman should ever stand her ground.

All the yelling and swearing is just meant to intimidate her.

Sometimes I get very tired of men.

Yellownotblue · 03/11/2020 01:22

@DeRigueurMortis

Tbh I'd have more "sympathy" for either of them if they were wearing masks.
I agree with this
Bunniesitmustbebunnies · 03/11/2020 01:24

@Georgeoftheinternet I mean she’s happy being obstructive and holding up the lift when it’s just that guy she’s inconvenienced, surely if she really thought she was correct she would have explained to the lady that she needs the lift all to herself and is waiting for the guy to exit.

No she was only comfortable being unreasonable to that one person. She didn’t want anyone else to witness her bizarre behaviour.

Lessofallthisunpleasantness · 03/11/2020 01:24

I would have been just as annoyed as him. If she is so worried then get out and wait for the lift to be empty. Or wear a mask or take the stairs.

BoomBoomsCousin · 03/11/2020 01:29

I'm not sure why she wanted the lift to herself - she wasn't behaving in a way that maximized her protection against covid (which would suggest wearing a mask and not staying near him when he started speaking loudly) so was her desire for a solo lift ride more about using covid to exercise power over others?

The man's ranting and swearing is not good and seemed quite aggressive, though he didn't seem to encroach on her space so may also just be a different communication norm.

In general, I would say if the rule is two people then the person who doesn't want to abide by that rule is the one who should get out and wait and she is behaving very poorly holding the lift up so she can have it to herself. Though, of course, there's always the question of who decided on the rule in the first place.

BoomBoomsCousin · 03/11/2020 01:31

We’re told not to share cars, why would lifts be safer?

Because you are generally only in a lift for a couple of minutes whereas car journeys tend to be much longer. Length of time in proximity is a key factor in transmission.

LovePoppy · 03/11/2020 01:38

I mean....he’d have gotten where he was going faster if he’d hopped out

Bunniesitmustbebunnies · 03/11/2020 01:40

@Yellownotblue

I think he’s in the wrong. The sign says maximum two people, but there is nothing forcing her to accept another passenger. It’s a pandemic. We’re told not to share cars, why would lifts be safer?

The fact she is identified as an ‘Asian Karen’, in and of itself, points to blatant misogyny , racism and ageism. Heaven forbids a woman should ever stand her ground.

All the yelling and swearing is just meant to intimidate her.

Sometimes I get very tired of men.

Unless it’s her own private lift it’s not up to her to accept another passenger or not. She had every right not to want to share a small space with someone else, but no one forced her. She has the option to leave and wait for another lift or else take the stairs.

I don’t see him being intimidating, I see it as being so frustrated and trying to get his point across.