Children’s choice of clothes - bad taste!!!

[Divebar]

Yesterday we were shopping and saw that Schuh were having a sale so went in. I was interested in some boots for DD8. I would probably have chosen DMs or biker boots for her. DD came over and said “ I’ve seen these trainers and you’re probably going to hate them” - she was right. Pale pink Fila trainers with the chunky sole. I do hate them. She was obviously disappointed that I wouldn’t get them which made me feel a bit shit. I fully appreciate that as she gets older my opinion about clothing choices will be much less / non existent but how much of her clothes now do you think should be governed by her taste? Obviously Christmas is coming and I may buy the trainers in black or buy biker books which we’d both probably like. My question is not really about what I should buy but how you manage these differences in taste as they get more interested in clothes & fashion.

If you are going to splash that sort of money at least make it her choice. They look nicer in pink or white on a younger child anyway imho.

YABU they’re trainers not high heels! If they’re affordable and practical she should be able to chose her own trainers.

She’s 8. Let her wear what she wants? Who cares? She’s not an extension of you anymore and she’s not your baby to dress up.

My almost two year old neice arrived for a family lunch the other day wearing my sons joggers with a dress over the top because she wanted to dress herself and that’s what she chose. She was warm and clean.

As I said upthread, I wouldn't buy them on practicality grounds, especially if she's either the kind of child who wouldn't wear them if they are dirty (no, you can't just throw all shoes in the washing machine, and even if you do, they don't come out clean always) or the kind of child who would avoid doing stuff to get them dirty (I've taken Guides on camp who've said "oh I can't do that, my trainers will get dirty).

I have to say I rarely take my DCs clothes shopping as 99% of their things come from ebay, hand me downs or online. DS needed a new backpack, I asked him whether he wanted Angry Birds, Mario or Minecraft, he said Angry Birds, I got it from ebay. I don't have time for dragging round the shops looking for the exact thing they want when it may not exist anyway!

My 7 year old daughters mostly want to wear black leggings and hoodies. I would love them to wear pink and other bright pretty colours

Solved it! OP and this poster should swap kids.

I think kids are constructed enough with having to wear bland school uniforms so if they would prefer a bit of colour, then do be it

Solved it! OP and this poster should swap kids

Perfect solution. She was actually wearing black leggings and a hoody but she wears a range of colours.

My almost two year old neice arrived for a family lunch the other day wearing my sons joggers with a dress over the top

Perfectly normal and not quite answering the question. Most kids when they get older want to fit in not stand out. There is generally a trend that I see though among other parents - the mum wears Zara and the kids wear Zara kids and there’s a kind of similarity in style. Another mum is quite feminine and her DD wears pretty little frilly things too. I wonder if they would say their girls had free rein and were just expressing their individuality?

@Divebar

My almost two year old neice arrived for a family lunch the other day wearing my sons joggers with a dress over the top

Perfectly normal and not quite answering the question. Most kids when they get older want to fit in not stand out. There is generally a trend that I see though among other parents - the mum wears Zara and the kids wear Zara kids and there’s a kind of similarity in style. Another mum is quite feminine and her DD wears pretty little frilly things too. I wonder if they would say their girls had free rein and were just expressing their individuality?

I definitely never dressed like my mum. I dressed like a member of Eternal then more in the Destiny’s Child to Missy Elliot range. My mum is very art teacher style 😂

@MiddleClassProblem

Are we talking art teacher in Parrot earrings and chunky beads ? Or more Stevie Nicks? I’m laughing because I can hear some kid outside saying “ I hate having to wear this” in a loud voice.

A bit of both. She’s had an arty job. She was a hippy in her you’d get days so has some wafty days but her works was in film, so can be quirky end of stylish if that makes sense. She would pair things from Jigsaw or Kew with craft fair items.

She hated how I dressed, hated tops with slogans/graphics on. She wished I dressed like her friend’s DD and tell me all the time. More middle class stylish than an extra in Save The Last Dance.

Who says biker boots and DMs aren't in fashion any more. My 8yo has biker boots, totally chosen by her as I was waving a pair of blue boots similar to ones she had last year. But she saw the biker boots and that was it. Just so happens that I love them and am a biker boot person myself but it was totally her choice.

OP I wouldn't have got the trainers if she's only just got some but I do let her choose her clothes etc. She can have the trainers when hers need replacing surely.

MiddleClassProblem

Sounds like a bit of a rites of passage. We live on the edge of London and we have an art school in our town so hopefully she will be exposed to a variety of trends -rather than just one trend. ( which was probably the case in my rural town). In our Venn diagram of style we do have a fair bit of overlap so hopefully that will continue a bit longer. I’m not quite ready for her to Get her freak on totally.

My just turned 9 yr old dd has always allowed me to steer her tastes in clothes. My youngest who is 6 is as strong willed as they come. I attempted to get her to wear something appropriate/warm for non-uniform day and I was shot down. I pick my battles, clothing is not one of them.

I’m accepting of their tastes where fashion is concerned. I’ve spent far too much money on lovely expensive stuff, which they then refuse to wear, but they’ll happily wear the cheap knitted acrylic leopard print cardigan that I picked up for a fiver in tkmax! If they want to wear shorts and T-shirt’s in October, I advise them otherwise but ultimately it won’t be my limbs that are cold.

I'd have no issue with that style trainers (I have an 8 year old and a 7 year old so am well aware of their wardrobe quirks - I'd settle for them bloody hanging things back up to be honest) apart from pointing out they were likely to show the dirt quickly and that we'd really gone in looking for boots.

But yep DD1 loves finding stuff that's garish and looks like a unicorn vomited up sequins and rainbows onto stuff and telling me I'm going to hate it as a joke - if it's practical and fits what we're looking for I'll buy it for her - if it's ridiculously overpriced or something completely out of season she gets told nope.

Not buying mine DMs until their feet stop growing - have you seen the bloody price of them these days?!?!

Ha ha. Yes @SpaceRaiders. She’s in a black oversized hoody and short denim shorts today, but we’re going away so there’s only a stop at the services to navigate. She looks good though. ( she is a lover of leopard print too)

You just have to suck it up.

I tend to wear DMs, skater dresses and cardigans, my daughter prefers trainers, trackie bottoms and oversized hoodies. I loathe it with a passion. But I remember how it was when i was younger and wanted DMs and to dress like Madonna and my mother insisted on making me into a mini me of her with floral skirts and blouses that made me look 50 when I was 13.

Hideous.

I hated it.

Hair styles and clothes are not the hill to die on.

Let her pick, my DD had purple DM’s now lives in Vans. Also I bought her black DM’s and they stiff and she won’t wear them.I’m breaking then in.
Why is pink bad? It’s just a colour.

My 3 year old is allowed to choose her own shoes. I may hate her choice of frozen or pink but she's the one wearing them. I can't imagine telling an 8yr old what they can have.

She needs to be able to make her own choices, you can’t force your own tastes on her, she won’t thank you for it.

I let my DDs all choose 3, 6 & 8 to a point. I only say no when it’s totally impractical or can’t afford. I may try and negotiate on things I think are not nice but always let them think they got what they wanted, e,g ask what they would wear it with for, maybe throw some challenges in, or say sure then find something else you both like and say you can’t afford both and up sell the thing you like most. Sometimes it works sometimes it dosnt. At the end of the day though, they are wearing them them not you x

Let get start choosing. But if she picks it she has to wear it, so maybe you say think about it overnight and if you still like them let’s get them.

My mother was controlling of every aspect of my life including what I wear, I now struggle to know what looks good on me and to put outfits together. Thank goodness these days it’s all joggers and T-shirts

Let her pick of course. Why do you get to decide?

Unless you're prepared to only wear things she chose for you from the shops (not your wardrobe).

Why do you get to decide?

Because she doesn’t distinguish between what she wants and what she needs and has only a fleeting awareness of budgets. She got new trainers 2 weeks ago as I have said countless times on this thread

@Bouledeneige

Let her pick of course. Why do you get to decide?

Unless you're prepared to only wear things she chose for you from the shops (not your wardrobe).

Because OP pays for her dd’s clothes, dd does not pay for OP’s clothes.

Not rocket science is it?

As long as fit for purpose I let them pick (ds8, ds7 and dd4). If huge issue I tell them it's too expensive/impractical or whatever.

Dd had some very garish sketchers with sparkly mermaids on. She LOVED them. My mum was very strict about clothes and shoes and I really rebelled against it as I got older. I probably over compensate now!

If we are in shop for boots and not trainers I would stick to that. But if someone wanted e.g. garish pink boots (not for school) I'd go with it