Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Children’s choice of clothes - bad taste!!!

178 replies

Divebar · 26/10/2020 07:27

Yesterday we were shopping and saw that Schuh were having a sale so went in. I was interested in some boots for DD8. I would probably have chosen DMs or biker boots for her. DD came over and said “ I’ve seen these trainers and you’re probably going to hate them” - she was right. Pale pink Fila trainers with the chunky sole. I do hate them. She was obviously disappointed that I wouldn’t get them which made me feel a bit shit. I fully appreciate that as she gets older my opinion about clothing choices will be much less / non existent but how much of her clothes now do you think should be governed by her taste? Obviously Christmas is coming and I may buy the trainers in black or buy biker books which we’d both probably like. My question is not really about what I should buy but how you manage these differences in taste as they get more interested in clothes & fashion.

OP posts:
FippertyGibbett · 26/10/2020 07:42

She should be able to wear what she wants, not what you like.
Pink trainers are normal for an 8 year old.

Lucked · 26/10/2020 07:44

I probably wouldn’t get pale pink trainers going into winter as everywhere will be muddy but they sound perfect for summer. I wear clunky boots and DM’s and my 7 year old would hate them so I would never buy them for her.

ShirleyPhallus · 26/10/2020 07:45

@TheYearOfSmallThings

This is so sad.;8 year old girls are allowed to prefer tacky pink trainers to on-trend (for right thinking adults) sturdy black boots. Can she not have sensible shoes for school, and the pink ones for home?

Are you worried people will think you chose them?

Agreed

This is prime fodder for those “what do you remember as being unfair in your childhood” type threads.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Clothing General style & beauty
TheYearOfSmallThings · 26/10/2020 07:45

Don’t get her the same ones in black, ffs.

God yes. The entire charm of those trainers for her is the pinkness.

littlebirdieblue · 26/10/2020 07:46

My 7 year old daughters mostly want to wear black leggings and hoodies. I would love them to wear pink and other bright pretty colours, oh and dresses, but they just don't want to, so I buy them what they like. They feel happy and comfortable in what they have chosen and it's their choice. Just because we like different things it doesn't mean either of us have 'bad taste', it just means we are individuals with our own likes and dislikes.

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 26/10/2020 07:47

My mum was quite rigid about some of my clothes when I was your DD's age and it made me miserable.

Now I try hard to let my own daughter make her choices, even though my mum gets a bit sniffy about it.

Don't make her feel shit about her choices and tastes. If the trainers will do the job then zip it and buy them for her!

FancyNancyl · 26/10/2020 07:48

how much of her clothes now do you think should be governed by her taste?

All of it. 100% of her clothes should be governed by her taste. If, like everyone else says she is not wearing stuff that's inappropriate for the occasion.

riotlady · 26/10/2020 07:48

Awww, surely it would be a bit of a shit Christmas present to get her the trainers she likes but in the wrong colour? The fact that they’re pink will be 99% of the reason she likes them!

Heartofstrings · 26/10/2020 07:49

My 3 year old picked his own outfit to go to the doctors in the summer...

Children’s choice of clothes - bad taste!!!
Original poster
Divebar · 26/10/2020 07:50

Lol.ok. Well I don’t have a problem with pink trainers per se I have a problem with this style. And she has pale purple ones in a different make. I don’t think pale pink is very practical for winter. We went in looking for boots not trainers. Why do I have to be so controlling? Well she’s 8 and would choose cropped tops and “booty”. shorts given the chance. Do you think I should let her wear them because they’re her choice?

OP posts:
Thurlow · 26/10/2020 07:53

You know what, I think I would have steered DD(8) away from those trainers too Blush

We've not quite had this issue yet as DD wears clothes that are similar to my taste - skinny jeans, hoodies, DMs etc - though I wonder how much of that is unconscious influence?

Anyway, you (and me Grin) need to step back and as long as the clothes aren't inappropriate in some way they should be able to chose what they want.

QforCucumber · 26/10/2020 07:54

The chunky '90s' style is fashionable at the moment, its what a lot of people are wearing...just because you don't like it doesn't mean she shouldn't have them. People have already said that hot pants and crop tops would be inappropriate, but a pqir of fashionable chunky trainers isn't - unless showing her ankles is a problem? I wore the same ones in 1999 when I was 11 Grin

FancyNancyl · 26/10/2020 07:55

Pretty much everybody has said that as long as the clothes are appropriate. Nobody has advocated her wearing 'booty shorts and crop tops'.

And you didn't ask if the pink trainers were suitable for winter. You were asking what you should do when your child asks to wear something that isn't your taste.

I'd have said 'we didn't come for trainers we came for winter boots so we need to keep looking. If you still like those trainers in the spring you could get them then'.

But that's a different thing from what you initially asked.

riotlady · 26/10/2020 07:56

@Heartofstrings

My 3 year old picked his own outfit to go to the doctors in the summer...
Is that a curtain tie around his waist? XD
MrsWhites · 26/10/2020 07:57

To be fair to the OP, they went in for boots not trainers, perhaps the child already has trainers and just needed boots!

ShirleyPhallus · 26/10/2020 07:58

Why do I have to be so controlling? Well she’s 8 and would choose cropped tops and “booty”. shorts given the chance. Do you think I should let her wear them because they’re her choice?

Literally EVERYONE has said, let her wear what she wants as long as it isn’t inappropriate. Booty shorts are inappropriate so no, don’t let her wear those.

But pale pink trainers in the winter? I cannot see what’s wrong with those or how they’d be impractical.

DinosaurOfFire · 26/10/2020 07:58

My children have been choosing most of their own clothes since they were about 3, my eldest for eg refused to wear trousers at all. I wouldn't tell my 8 year old child I didn't like what she chose, if it was a crop top I would tell her that it's too old for her and for teenagers/ grownups but that we could look for something for her age that is similar.
With the boots, I would have said that the trainers were nice but reminded my daughter we needed boots today and maybe she could have the trainers next time she needs new ones. Sometimes a little white lie about liking something is ok because it builds the childs confidence in their own choices.

NerrSnerr · 26/10/2020 07:59

Chunky trainers are fashionable. If they get muddy does it matter? They can go in the washing machine every now and again.

It's fair enough to steer her away from clothes that aren't age appropriate but just because you don't like the style.

You say you went looking for boots but you'd buy her the same trainers but in black for Christmas so you are happy to buy her trainers, just not the ones she wants.

PatchworkElmer · 26/10/2020 08:00

I would’ve let her choose, as long as suitable for the purpose you went in there for. I’d definitely get them for Christmas, if affordable- don’t get black when she clearly wants pink!

DS is nearly 4, and I tend to buy his clothes online and let him pick from the wardrobe each day. With shoes, we present a selection of appropriate ones (so that we don’t have tears over wanting sandals for wearing on winter walks), and he chooses from those.

CoronaBollox · 26/10/2020 08:00

At that age my DM would let me choose as long as they were the sort of footwear I needed. So if school shoes, as long as they were black and within school guidelines. If it was trainers then I'd be able to choose what I like. She would only step in if it was inappropriate 9 yo me really wanted that pink tracksuit that had juicy written on the arse

Coffeeandaride · 26/10/2020 08:01

I’d let her pick - up to a point.

There are some clothes that are more adaptable/suitable for different social situations. So I’d steer her to something she’d get more use out of, however if it was colour or style alone, I think she should pick!

StormyInTheNorth · 26/10/2020 08:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 26/10/2020 08:03

I have the opposite problem - I love clothes myself, think I'm pretty stylish and put a lot of thought into choosing my outfits.

My DD, on the other hand, prioritises comfort over everything else, and lives in tracksuit bottoms and tshirts. She prefers dark colours and loathes anything loud and attention grabbing. She only wants to wear black ankle boots for 9 months of the year, and Crocs for the other three.

But she wears what she wants and chooses her own clothes - because she's not me, nor is she a doll for me to dress up. Also the feminist in me is delighted that she couldn't care less about looking "nice"!

Joeblack066 · 26/10/2020 08:03

Growing up my DD went through the Pink phase, then completely Alternative red and black phase, and now has a fabulous sense of her own style and looks amazing every day. Don’t stifle her sense of self even if you don’t like it. She needs to work through it herself.

ParadeOfRemotes · 26/10/2020 08:03

I think there's a massive difference between pale pink trainers and a crop top! Pale pink trainers are not inappropriate/too adult they're just not to your taste. I let me 2 and 4 year old pick things out if they want to.

If you think they're impractical but she needed trainers you could point out that they are pale and might get dirty or marked quite quickly. She might say ok, but she wants them anyway. She gets them and in a few months they're all filthy and she has to live with that. Lesson learned.

If you don't need new trainers for her couldn't you have just said 'ooh they're lovely/oh I can see why you like them, oh you love that colour etc' but then explained she doesn't need trainers just now.

She sounds crushed by your reaction. She was probably looking for validation that her mum liked something she had picked out.