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Original poster

Children’s choice of clothes - bad taste!!!

178 replies

Divebar · 26/10/2020 07:27

Yesterday we were shopping and saw that Schuh were having a sale so went in. I was interested in some boots for DD8. I would probably have chosen DMs or biker boots for her. DD came over and said “ I’ve seen these trainers and you’re probably going to hate them” - she was right. Pale pink Fila trainers with the chunky sole. I do hate them. She was obviously disappointed that I wouldn’t get them which made me feel a bit shit. I fully appreciate that as she gets older my opinion about clothing choices will be much less / non existent but how much of her clothes now do you think should be governed by her taste? Obviously Christmas is coming and I may buy the trainers in black or buy biker books which we’d both probably like. My question is not really about what I should buy but how you manage these differences in taste as they get more interested in clothes & fashion.

OP posts:
Findahouse21 · 26/10/2020 08:04

Dd has just turned 6 and I have always let her pick her own shoes at the shop. She has to wear them every day, not me.

whiskybysidedoor · 26/10/2020 08:05

If you can explain to her in a logical way why something isn’t appropriate for need that’s ok - for instance ‘I’m sorry we can’t buy the ballet shoes because today we are shopping for winter boots, they need to cover all your feet and be sturdy’.

But then you also say ‘off you go pick something within those parameters.’

But ‘not to your taste’ you have to throw out the window or eventually she’ll start wearing stuff just to piss you off and resent you.

formerbabe · 26/10/2020 08:05

Yabvu

Biker boots on an eight year old? Confused Let her have the pink trainers ffs

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StormyInTheNorth · 26/10/2020 08:06

I think you should let her wear what she likes within reason. I wonder whether it would be a good idea to discuss both of your expectations before you shop. Then she knows that it is something practical for winter because she already has pale coloured trainers.

I speak from bitter experience. My mother chose my clothes from knickers to calf length denim skirts and high neck t shirts until I was 16 and I had a saturday job. Oh and the 'practical' brown dufflecoat when I was 9. The bullying was horrific. I looked like a puritan.

She needs some guidance, but she's not your property or an extention of you.

Tiredmum100 · 26/10/2020 08:07

Don't buy them in black instead. She probably likes them because they're pink and will be really disappointed. To he honest I let my dc choose their own clothes (7&8). My youngest loves army print, iterally everything had army print on it, from underwear to his coat and hats. I'm leaving him to it. If it makes him happy.

Original poster
Divebar · 26/10/2020 08:07

She would love a Juicy Couture tracksuit if she knew they existed I think. I don’t think pale pink works in the winter I think they’ll be good for her birthday in spring. I’m not sure they’d go in the machine ? 🤔. I just bought white chunky trainers 2 weeks ago which she was thrilled about but they’re looking pretty trashed already and I don’t want to spend the entire winter washing 2 pairs of trainers by hand.

OP posts:
StormyInTheNorth · 26/10/2020 08:08

Oh and I posted 2 versions! Clearly I am not too good at the internet this morning!

Ickabog · 26/10/2020 08:08

She sounds crushed by your reaction. She was probably looking for validation that her mum liked something she had picked out.

I agree with this. It's also very telling that she started the conversation with and you’re probably going to hate them. Obviously it's not the first time the OP has been negative about her daughters choices.

FatCatThinCat · 26/10/2020 08:09

Let her wear what she likes. My 7 year old son is obsessed with yellow. Every item of clothing he owns is yellow pretty much. He goes around looking like a giant banana. But he loves it.

ivftake1 · 26/10/2020 08:09

@Divebar

Lol.ok. Well I don’t have a problem with pink trainers per se I have a problem with this style. And she has pale purple ones in a different make. I don’t think pale pink is very practical for winter. We went in looking for boots not trainers. Why do I have to be so controlling? Well she’s 8 and would choose cropped tops and “booty”. shorts given the chance. Do you think I should let her wear them because they’re her choice?
Crop tops and booty shorts are obviously inappropriate so no, I wouldn't expect you to allow her to wear those. But trainers in a different colour to which you would prefer? No, you're being very unreasonable.
BlueJava · 26/10/2020 08:09

I'd let her choose - if she wants chunky pale pink trainers then I'd have no problem with that at all. I think it's good for them to make their own decisions about what to wear. Both mine are now 18 yo, and my problem is that it is impossible to choose for them!

Shipwrecked2019 · 26/10/2020 08:10

My DD is 9 and has those trainers and airforce 1s, would I pick them? Probably not but equally she's wearing them not me.

Original poster
Divebar · 26/10/2020 08:10

I wonder whether it would be a good idea to discuss both of your expectations before you shop

This is a great idea I think. We weren’t really supposed to be shopping for boots on this occasion but just stopped by because they had a sale on. She’s pretty lucky... she does get bought nice clothes. We have a kids H&M in our town but they do have styles that are obviously designed for older girls that she gravitates to.

OP posts:
Enough4me · 26/10/2020 08:11

If she has white trainers then she will need to wait to grow & can have pink trainers next?

As for boots, do they need to be DMs, could she be asked to look for boots so you see the style she likes?

Quartz2208 · 26/10/2020 08:11

Why are you washing trainers. Yes they get dirty and scuffed but that’s fine, they can’t stay pristine forever.

Follow her style but allow to be practical but also wear and tear

corythatwas · 26/10/2020 08:14

Lol.ok. Well I don’t have a problem with pink trainers per se I have a problem with this style. And she has pale purple ones in a different make. I don’t think pale pink is very practical for winter. We went in looking for boots not trainers. Why do I have to be so controlling? Well she’s 8 and would choose cropped tops and “booty”. shorts given the chance. Do you think I should let her wear them because they’re her choice?

I think you should do a quick run-through of your objections in every single case to make sure they are really about practicalities/economy and not about taste.

So how much of a problem is it if her trainers show the dirt? Does she need them for school or any other setting where she has to look smart? Could this become a learning moment for her: "Yes, you can have them but you will have to wear them even if they don't wash clean"? Could she be made responsible for washing them by hand?

ivftake1 · 26/10/2020 08:15

It actually sounds like you'd be embarrassed about her choice?

Pinkypie86 · 26/10/2020 08:15

It's a tough one. If you weren't shopping for trainers then you were right not to buy them. If its something specific, then I will usually let the DCs pick out their favourite from a selection.

It's not something to worry about, a pair of trainers at age 8 lasts about 6months max - it'll be another trend, craze or fad next time!

froggygoneonakillingspree · 26/10/2020 08:17

Find pink boots then. There are loads of pink boots on the market.

DMs or biker boots aren't really appropriate for a young child, unless the child really adores that particular style. I wouldn't dream of wearing DMs or biker boots and I'm an adult, because the whole macho/goth look just isn't me. Women who can pull that off do look very cool, but it's a pretty extreme 'look.' Not something I'd force onto a child, especially a child who clearly isn't into goth/rock chick/macho styles.

ivftake1 · 26/10/2020 08:19

Hahaha at someone saying a pair of boots are 'macho'

CoffeeChouxBun · 26/10/2020 08:21

If she has to wear what you say, then I don't think it should be a present.
If you want her to wear black trainers/ Docs or biker boots then you can buy them for her - they don't sound like bad choices...- but for Christmas!?!?? buy what SHE wants for a present, surely???

Qwertywerty3 · 26/10/2020 08:22

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

trappedsincesundaymorn · 26/10/2020 08:22

Oh it could be worse OP. My DD at that age decided to only wear miss-matched trainers. My poor mum used to break out in hives every time we visited her...one blue trainer and one green one was DD's favourite. By the end of that particular phase I wouldn't have cared what colour she was wearing at least they matched. Grin

Lockdownfatigue · 26/10/2020 08:22

Ok, so you think the trainers are chavvy? That’s the crux of the matter.

You don’t get to dress her up in DM’s.

You do get to veto things that are inappropriate for her age like crop tops and shorts that show her whole actual bum.

You do get to veto things like heels that aren’t suitable to play in.

But you don’t get to impose your taste on her. Even if you think she looks chavvy.

Ilovecheese53 · 26/10/2020 08:23

I don’t think your post is about your DD liked the trainers but you didn’t want to buy them because they were light in colour and they wouldn’t be appropriate for winter at all OP.

Otherwise you wouldn’t be writing this. I would let your DD pick some things. Kids like colours plenty of times I’ve let DS pick brightly coloured sandals and he’s 5 obviously we have to have darker colours too to blend with other garments.