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Original poster

Gutted for my DS

302 replies

MillieVanilla · 15/10/2020 14:50

Sorry need to come to a safe space as I'm so upset.
DS is 12, second year he's a little softy
Due to getting points for not wearing a mask and being late for class, school said he would have to wear a sunflower lanyard to avoid this happening. I was quite dubious of them (no offense to anyone who wears them) because let's be honest, kids can be gits and bully for any reason.
So he's worn one for a fortnight.
Today I got a call- he's been badly beaten up, we had collect him as he has had a head injury.
His cheek is purple, black eye, he's dizzy, his leg has twisted too.
The boy who did it walked past laughing at him "look at him with his flower necklace".
Due to Aspergers, he didn't react, he doesn't ever. As a result the boy turned back around, grabbed him by his blazer and smacked his face into a wall then a bench. He then threw him on the ground, laughing.
DS is very quiet. He hasn't cried. He just said that he knew he shouldn't wear the lanyard.
I saw him come into the office and I could've cried, he is bruised across his entire right side. His blazer is filthy. He kept apologising over the blazer.
School have said they will be involving the police due to the severity of the incident. Which of course I'm grateful for, they did suggest getting a report from a+e but he absolutely lost the plot at the idea of going to a hospital with Covid being around, luckily our understanding GP has said he will take a look and write a report instead.
I'm gutted. He's had a few mean comments before over his disabilities, but nothing as bad as this. Part of me wishes he was the type of lad who would've hit the boy back but of course that's just not him (although if the school doesn't get to the boy before DD does that will be a whole other issue, she is not happy and was rather vocally trying to get the boys name off of DS).
I just think behaviour like that is just so old school, you think of their generation of being so much more accepting and understanding of things.
I now have a lad who doesn't want to go back to school, and is scared that he will have to speak to police.
Sorry to vent but I can't be silly and cry!

OP posts:
unmarkedbythat · 15/10/2020 14:53

Oh @MillieVanilla, that is awful, I'm so, so sorry. Your beautiful boy :( You're not being silly, I would be distraught and furious.

pastandpresent · 15/10/2020 14:58

I am so sorry. I can't believe some children can be so cruel. I do really hope that boy gets proper punishment for what he did.
Thinking of you and your ds, and hope he has quick recovery.
Flowers

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 15/10/2020 15:03

Oh your poor DS Sad I'd be heartbroken if that was my son. Big hug OP Flowers

Parker231 · 15/10/2020 15:06

That is awful. I hope your DS is feeling better soon and that the school, police (and your DD - good for her supporting her brother) strongly punish the bully.

dingit · 15/10/2020 15:07

Your poor boy. I hope there are severe consequences for the perpetrator.

AntiSocialDistancer · 15/10/2020 15:08

I could cry for him too. What a poor boy. So pleased you have support from school to go to police Flowers

Holothane · 15/10/2020 15:10

So shocked I hope that little bastard is charged, your poor son 💐💐💐💐💐

Original poster
MillieVanilla · 15/10/2020 15:11

When stuff like this happens, I want to keep him at home wrapped up.
It never gets easier however much older they get
My DD is furious. Usually, she would pop to where he hangs out and check in with him but because of bubbles they're not allowed to roam. She happened to walk by the office when he was being signed out and saw us, clocked his face and lost it, telling him tell me who it was. I had to get cross with her to get her to go to class

OP posts:
Ginfordinner · 15/10/2020 15:11

I hope the police come down hard on the perpetrator and his parents.

Your poor boy. I am so angry on your behalf.

24red · 15/10/2020 15:12

I have nothing to add other than I feel sick to my stomach reading this. I hope you, and your son are ok

2me2u2u2me · 15/10/2020 15:12

oh OP your post has brought me to tears, I am so sorry for what your lovely son has gone through and how you must have felt when you saw the damage done.

What an absolutely disgusting excuse for a human being that other lad is, I hope he gets what he deserves, he needs parading in front of the whole school and shaming!

Hope you're ok Flowers

MsSquiz · 15/10/2020 15:15

Is getting points a punishment for not wearing a mask? Because I'd be pissed off that a teacher thought it was acceptable to give a child who is (presumably) exempt from wearing a mask, a punishment.

I hope your DS is ok and I hope that little bully is properly dealt with, by the police and the school. I'd expect him to be excluded for such a serious assault, even without the police being involved!

snowstorm2012 · 15/10/2020 15:18

I am so sorry, this is heart breaking to read, I hope your son will be okay.

I know it won't help matters but I sort of hope your DD gets to find the kid who did this to your son 🤷‍♀️

Scweltish · 15/10/2020 15:20

I hope that little twat is getting expelled! Your poor ds.

cricketmum84 · 15/10/2020 15:20

Omg @MillieVanilla that's absolutely horrendous! My heart is absolutely breaking for what your boy has gone through today. I would be out for blood!!

Firstly I think it's absolutely ridiculous of the school to effectively single out pupils with additional needs by making them visibly different. I would be really pushing that with school as thats never going to end well! We all know how cruel kids can be!

Vent as much as you need. And give your boy an extra hug if you can from us (I have one on the ASD pathway so now hugs aren't always welcomed!)

And just to join in - the little little shitbags!!! I hope they have half decent parents because if one of mine had done that they would be in some serious trouble right now!

unmarkedbythat · 15/10/2020 15:21

Your DD should not do this and it is not the right course of action at all, but my younger brother was beaten up quite badly in the first year of secondary school and I set my male friends on the culprit. They never badly injured him but he had a dreadful, dreadful time after that which ended the day he approached my brother, apologised to him and asked him to call my friends off.

cosmo30 · 15/10/2020 15:21

That's made me feel quite emotional! I have a little boy with asd and he's a softie too and i so worry about him ! Tbh id let your dd have words. Hope he's okay

Butwhhhyyyyyyy · 15/10/2020 15:22

I'm so sorry for your ds, it must be awful, my ds is Asperger's and the same age and know he would react just the same as your ds, not react I'm glad the school are involving the police this child needs to be punished. Unless your dd gets there first.

Original poster
MillieVanilla · 15/10/2020 15:23

@MsSquiz

Is getting points a punishment for not wearing a mask? Because I'd be pissed off that a teacher thought it was acceptable to give a child who is (presumably) exempt from wearing a mask, a punishment.

I hope your DS is ok and I hope that little bully is properly dealt with, by the police and the school. I'd expect him to be excluded for such a serious assault, even without the police being involved!

Yes they get demerits for not having a mask in the halls. And demerits for being late to class (2 minutes or under is 2 demerits, the school is huge and made up of different buildings so running around is not healthy).
OP posts:
Griffalo123 · 15/10/2020 15:23

Just echoing what others have said. Your poor son. No one should be subjected to that, but at 12 that’s so heartbreaking.

I also hope this gets taken all the way by the police and school.

Your DD sounds great. I hope she doesn’t get herself into trouble though.

Hugs for you all.

Houseplanted · 15/10/2020 15:26

I feel so sad for your DS and hope the boy who hurt him is at least expelled.
I do think this could have been prevented if the school didn’t insist on a lanyard, even in a large school it can’t be that difficult to point out the minority of children exempt from wearing a mask or least give them a card to show any staff who question him.

timeforawine · 15/10/2020 15:27

Christ that is despicable!!! Your poor boy AngryAngry i really hope he's ok and can talk to the police, glad to school is involving them. I hope he's on the mend soon and big hugs to all of you

giantangryrooster · 15/10/2020 15:28

I'm so sorry for you and your ds. And really angry Thanks.

Could you take pictures of his injuries and make sure school reports to police? Please talk to the school about the lanyard, surely their rules are trumped by the risk of violence?

Chaotic45 · 15/10/2020 15:28

Oh OP I'm so very sorry to hear this. What a heartbreaking story. Hugs to you and your DS.

I am glad school are involving the police. My DS had a similar incident, outside of school and I called the police. I had moments of worry that I had done the wrong thing- but it was absolutely the right thing to do. They took it seriously and it did really help.

I do also think that the school should look at their own policies and behaviour here.

Original poster
MillieVanilla · 15/10/2020 15:30

@unmarkedbythat

Your DD should not do this and it is not the right course of action at all, but my younger brother was beaten up quite badly in the first year of secondary school and I set my male friends on the culprit. They never badly injured him but he had a dreadful, dreadful time after that which ended the day he approached my brother, apologised to him and asked him to call my friends off.
Oh she has been told in no uncertain terms not to, she's a bugger but she loves her brother to distraction, they're really close in age too. But no she has been told it will not help matters however angry she is. I do understand why, but no she can't. Especially with police getting involved. The first thing he has always said if someone is nasty to him is don't tell her, so his mates know too. He's very lucky he has such a great group who brought him straight to the school nurse and she said they were hugging him and calming him down.
OP posts: