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Original poster

Gutted for my DS

302 replies

MillieVanilla · 15/10/2020 14:50

Sorry need to come to a safe space as I'm so upset.
DS is 12, second year he's a little softy
Due to getting points for not wearing a mask and being late for class, school said he would have to wear a sunflower lanyard to avoid this happening. I was quite dubious of them (no offense to anyone who wears them) because let's be honest, kids can be gits and bully for any reason.
So he's worn one for a fortnight.
Today I got a call- he's been badly beaten up, we had collect him as he has had a head injury.
His cheek is purple, black eye, he's dizzy, his leg has twisted too.
The boy who did it walked past laughing at him "look at him with his flower necklace".
Due to Aspergers, he didn't react, he doesn't ever. As a result the boy turned back around, grabbed him by his blazer and smacked his face into a wall then a bench. He then threw him on the ground, laughing.
DS is very quiet. He hasn't cried. He just said that he knew he shouldn't wear the lanyard.
I saw him come into the office and I could've cried, he is bruised across his entire right side. His blazer is filthy. He kept apologising over the blazer.
School have said they will be involving the police due to the severity of the incident. Which of course I'm grateful for, they did suggest getting a report from a+e but he absolutely lost the plot at the idea of going to a hospital with Covid being around, luckily our understanding GP has said he will take a look and write a report instead.
I'm gutted. He's had a few mean comments before over his disabilities, but nothing as bad as this. Part of me wishes he was the type of lad who would've hit the boy back but of course that's just not him (although if the school doesn't get to the boy before DD does that will be a whole other issue, she is not happy and was rather vocally trying to get the boys name off of DS).
I just think behaviour like that is just so old school, you think of their generation of being so much more accepting and understanding of things.
I now have a lad who doesn't want to go back to school, and is scared that he will have to speak to police.
Sorry to vent but I can't be silly and cry!

OP posts:
PhilCornwall1 · 15/10/2020 15:58

I hope the Police come down on the individual like a tonne of bricks! I'd love to get my hands in the sod that did it!!!

That's not at all helpful, but this type of thing really winds me up!!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with crying either!!

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 15/10/2020 15:58

I'm actually crying reading that OP. Your poor ds. Honestly I would let him have some time off to recover. Tell the school he will not be wearing a lanyard. No child, never mind a 12 year old boy wants to be wearing that.bthe school will just have to recognise he doesn't need a mask some other way.

BigSisLittleSisCardboardBox · 15/10/2020 16:00

Your poor son, I’m so sorry that happened to him.

I really can’t see why it’s necessary to wear a lanyard in a school environment. His additional needs should be known or checkable by anyone dishing out demerits for non-mask wearing. I understand their need in shops/buses etc but people should not have to go around an environment like a school and continually announce their needs in order to receive the appropriate treatment. I would go back to the school with this one and ask for them to rectify their policy on this, and I’d be pretty forceful about it. They had fucked up here before the bully laid a finger on your son. (Im not in any way excusing the bully’s despicable behaviour.)

I never thought about that being quite a silly design too, I would imagine a lot of people might not like wearing a bright yellow, busy, flowery thing around their neck.

Above all, I hope your dealings with the police and school go smoothly and the bully is held accountable.

ilovemydogandMrObama · 15/10/2020 16:01

I am so so sorry.

One of DS friends is on the spectrum who is the most incredibly loyal friend. DS is small for his age, and was bullied for years by a specific boy, and DS friend just didn't understand the logic, and was outraged by the injustice of it all.

The whole issue of lanyards is so concerning, and am really wondering whether this is necessary as it highlights people's disabilities. Could you raise this possibly with the Education Lead at your Council as the school?

Your poor boy Sad

Legoandloldolls · 15/10/2020 16:05

Poor ds OP. I'm so sorry to hear this. Absolutely nothing has moved on in regards to understanding I'm afraid. I'm glad school are involving the police. Hopefully the thug poops his pants over it.

DM1209 · 15/10/2020 16:06

My heart goes out to your son, as a mum and as a human, I'm so sorry this has happened to him and to you.

I can tell you that my 12 year old daughter would absolutely have intervened if she had seen even a scuffle taking place let alone such an assault. It used to worry me but reading your post, we need this intervention wherever necessary.

Separately from a legal perspective, the thug is over the age of 10 therefore he can be held criminally responsible for his actions. Please, please do not allow this to be put to rest until you have gone through every possible option, even your own private police complaint separate from the schools. You don't need to just follow their lead. We sadly deal with a lot of these matters in my area of Law.

Advocate for your son and I wish you both love and strength.

LittleDoritt · 15/10/2020 16:07

This is so awful. I'm so sorry for your darling boy.

PeppaPigMakesMeGrrrrr · 15/10/2020 16:08

This is awful. I'm both angry for and crying for you and your son. Definitely contact the police yourself. Would that bully assault someone in public wearing a lanyard? I think not so he needs to know he isn't the a hard man he thinks he is in the school environment. I would be strongly pressing for his expulsion. Your son should be able to move freely and safely around school without a lanyard or risk of demerit. What an awful situation for you all.

nocoolnamesleft · 15/10/2020 16:08

Definitely needs the police involved. Have you taken photographic evidence? Your poor lad.

IHateCoronavirus · 15/10/2020 16:09

Oh your poor boy! I hope that little shit gets the harsher punishment available for what he has done. School need to be on this issue, and addressing the matter more widely.

AdelaideK · 15/10/2020 16:11

How awful. I'd be heart broken if it were my DS.

Your poor boy. I'd be saying he is not wearing the lanyard again and photographing his injuries. The bloody thug who did it needs to be severely punished.

JuliaJohnston · 15/10/2020 16:11

Hope they throw the book at the little bastard.

JaffaCake70 · 15/10/2020 16:14

Your post has made me cry. This is just terrible. I'm so so sorry that you and your Son have had to go through this. I hope that horrible shit gets fucking floored by karma.

JaffaCake70 · 15/10/2020 16:14

Or by your DD

Cocolapew · 15/10/2020 16:17

How awful your poor son, I hope he recovers well.
He shouldn't need a lanyard, how hard is it to remember who is exempt from wearing a mask or just bloody ask?!
I hope the police come down hard.

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 15/10/2020 16:19

Oh god, your poor, poor boy! I'm so sorry. Hopefully the school are treating f this with the seriousness it warrants?

My DS is only 6 and pre-lockdown was being quite badly bullied by some of the other boys in his class, and the school hadn’t even noticed - despite my going in to say “he seems really unhappy, he’s not eating and barely sleeping, is there anything going at school?”

I even had him at the hospital having blood tests done to rule out a physiological cause, it was such a dramatic and sudden change in personality. Didn’t find out what was going on till he got pushed to the ground and kicked and punched and had his trousers pulled down - and even then they tried to minimise it as a “game of tag that got of hand”

I hope your school throws the book at the bully.

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 15/10/2020 16:20

Your poor son. What an absolutely awful child to have done this to anyone.

Surely when they issue the demerits it is written into your son's planner, so why can he not have a note written by a teacher in the front of the planner explaining why he cannot wear a mask? Why didn't they think of this? Why can SLT not show the photos from the SIMS system for all the children exempt from mask wearing to the staff so they remember? It isn't that difficult.

I am glad the police are involved. These children need to be taught you cannot put your hands on another person like this. As PP have said, you couldn't do this in a work place.

Letsleepingdogslie8 · 15/10/2020 16:21

Sending huge hugs to you all. I’m so glad the school have the police involved.

This brought back strong memories of me reacting like your DD when my ASD DB was bullied.

Letsleepingdogslie8 · 15/10/2020 16:23

@OnTheBenchOfDoom That’s exactly what my school have done - each teacher has been given a list of exempt pupils.

FrenchBoule · 15/10/2020 16:25

OP, I’m so sorry to hear about your DS.Poor thing.

Could you please report it to police yourself as well? Just in case school “said” they were going to do it and nothing happened/crossed wires/lost somewhere and then you’ll get meekly “we dealt with it” statement with half arsed apologies.

At least please ask for the incident number.

Hope the shitbag that hit your son is going to get charged.

Booboobibles · 15/10/2020 16:27

I’m so sorry about this. I have an Asperger’s son too and I do wrap him in cotton wool which maybe isn’t the best thing to do. But they’re so innocent.

I hope it gets sorted out....there should be very serious consequences for that horrible child.

Jigglypuffler · 15/10/2020 16:28

This is heartbreaking! I'm so sorry that your DS has gone through this - and you too. I hope the school have at least suspended the boy/s who did this, pending police involvement?!

Big hugs to you all.

FrancesFlute · 15/10/2020 16:32

So upset to read this. Your DS sounds lovely, I would be in pieces too. I think the police should definitely be involved. The bully needs punishment. Can DS have some kind of support for walking between lessons now?

WitchFindersAreEverywhere · 15/10/2020 16:33

What a dreadful world it is, where wearing a lanyard to indicate you might need help attracts bullying and violence to the point that people are advising him not to wear it.
Imagine if all individuals with a disability had to live in such fear. In school.
As a child, my autistic son was violent if attacked. So bullies tended to walk round him. I must admit that I preferred knowing that, to worrying about him being beaten up or afraid to leave home.
Make sure that the school act, and don’t just settle for words and victim-blaming.

Ugzbugz · 15/10/2020 16:36

This is absolutely heartbreaking OP, I would be so upset, I hope your DC is okay and that nasty bully is expelled with severe consequences.