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Original poster

Gutted for my DS

302 replies

MillieVanilla · 15/10/2020 14:50

Sorry need to come to a safe space as I'm so upset.
DS is 12, second year he's a little softy
Due to getting points for not wearing a mask and being late for class, school said he would have to wear a sunflower lanyard to avoid this happening. I was quite dubious of them (no offense to anyone who wears them) because let's be honest, kids can be gits and bully for any reason.
So he's worn one for a fortnight.
Today I got a call- he's been badly beaten up, we had collect him as he has had a head injury.
His cheek is purple, black eye, he's dizzy, his leg has twisted too.
The boy who did it walked past laughing at him "look at him with his flower necklace".
Due to Aspergers, he didn't react, he doesn't ever. As a result the boy turned back around, grabbed him by his blazer and smacked his face into a wall then a bench. He then threw him on the ground, laughing.
DS is very quiet. He hasn't cried. He just said that he knew he shouldn't wear the lanyard.
I saw him come into the office and I could've cried, he is bruised across his entire right side. His blazer is filthy. He kept apologising over the blazer.
School have said they will be involving the police due to the severity of the incident. Which of course I'm grateful for, they did suggest getting a report from a+e but he absolutely lost the plot at the idea of going to a hospital with Covid being around, luckily our understanding GP has said he will take a look and write a report instead.
I'm gutted. He's had a few mean comments before over his disabilities, but nothing as bad as this. Part of me wishes he was the type of lad who would've hit the boy back but of course that's just not him (although if the school doesn't get to the boy before DD does that will be a whole other issue, she is not happy and was rather vocally trying to get the boys name off of DS).
I just think behaviour like that is just so old school, you think of their generation of being so much more accepting and understanding of things.
I now have a lad who doesn't want to go back to school, and is scared that he will have to speak to police.
Sorry to vent but I can't be silly and cry!

OP posts:
Horsemad · 15/10/2020 21:23

Have his injuries been photographed?

Zzz1234 · 15/10/2020 21:24

Hope your feeling better about it millievanilla and that school continues to take it seriously don't let them fob you off

Newwayofthinking · 15/10/2020 21:27

Glad to hear they have been in contact.

(You dont need to ring 999, 101 would have been sufficient)

Hercwasonaroll · 15/10/2020 21:33

School could give exempt students a Laminated card, that's what we do. Sits in the blazer pocket and students show it as required.

I'm disgusted by the other child. I feel for you as a parent and dread this day myself. Please contact the police yourselves either way. This needs logging properly.

misskick · 15/10/2020 21:50

How awful some kids can be, you must be distraught. If it's going through the police it's better that it is documented by a medical professional. The bully shouldn't even be allowed on the school premises surely while it's investigated surely?

formerbabe · 15/10/2020 21:54

So incredibly sorry to hear that, your poor ds and poor you, must be so hard to see your child like that. Wishing him well and you too Flowers

AntiSocialDistancer · 15/10/2020 22:39

I cant understand why the school cant do a demerit system, but just cancel the points when cross referenced with the office.

Hey you without a mask, whats your name? Jon Jim? Right your name is goingon the list.
The list goes back to the office and they strike off who is exempt.

Why is it a bigger deal than that?

coastergirl · 15/10/2020 23:40

His friends sound absolutely lovely. That's brilliant. I'm glad it's being taken seriously, as it should be. Hopefully bully will be permanently excluded. There's no excuse for such extreme behaviour.

Original poster
MillieVanilla · 16/10/2020 07:06

@Horsemad

Have his injuries been photographed?
Yes they have, and when he's awake later I will redo if the bruise is worse (which we think it possibly will be)
OP posts:
Horsemad · 16/10/2020 07:51

How is your DS this morning OP?

StillMedusa · 16/10/2020 07:58

I'm so so sorry this happened to your son.
Good to hear that school are taking it seriously and not just brushing over how serious it is... really hope the police take it as seriously too and the bully is thoroughly frightenened as well as excluded.
My son is an adult version of yours.. 23 with ASD and as gentle as they come and he was given a sunflower lanyard (by one of his special needs groups) but doesn't wear it for the same reason .. sadly the adult world can be equally as full of bullies and he has been targetted with it on.
However, despite that he remains lovely and generally still looks at everyone as his friend. We do use a brilliant counsellor from time to time to help him process his thoughts, so just thought I'd mention that in case his worries about the incident have long lasting effects.DS2 struggles to understand why anyone would be mean and it helps to have someone not close to him talk it through.
He also has a big sister who would happily remove the bullies from the planet given the chance!!
Thinking of you both and hoping today is a good day x

Weenurse · 16/10/2020 08:02

So sorry this has happened to DS.
How is he now?💐

orangejuicer · 16/10/2020 08:10

I hope he's ok OP.
In your position I'd be getting in touch with the governors as well as the police.

middleager · 16/10/2020 08:14

I am so sorry your lovely son has had to go through this. How is he doing today? X

MoonJelly · 16/10/2020 08:16

It's quite refreshing to read about a school taking this seriously and dealing with the problem properly, even though the incident arises from their own failure to deal with the exemption policy properly. Your son's friends sound lovely.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 16/10/2020 08:17

I’m pleased the school are dealing with this properly. Your ds sounds like he has fab friends around him and your dd rocks, I’m obviously not encouraging her at all but for her to support her brother like that is amazing.

And a big hug for you and your ds, hope he’s feeling better today

Plussizejumpsuit · 16/10/2020 08:18

This is awful poor ds! I can't imagine how you feel about somone hurting your son like this. Although imagine very angry and upset. I'm glad the sch are taking it seriously. I went to secondary school in late 90s early 00s and when I think about the things that happened and people got away with its shocking. So it's good to hear this sort of thing is being dealt with.

It's not just about punishing the other boy though. They need to make sure your ds is safe and do something to address the emotional harm caused by this. Sending love to you both Flowers

ItsBeyondMe · 16/10/2020 08:18

I’m so sorry this happened to your son. I’m so pleased he has a wonderful set of friends. I hope the police are proactive about this.

Mollscroll · 16/10/2020 08:26

How awful. It hurts my heart to read this. It must be so hard for you to watch him go through this. Hope the police do what they should.

purpleboy · 16/10/2020 08:30

I'm heartbroken for him and you. Bastards.
Glad to hear the school are taking it seriously. I hope he gets on ok today.

Juicyfrooty · 16/10/2020 08:34

You'd think with how far the younger generation seem to have come with their attitudes to racism and homophobia that they would be more accepting of disabilities especially autism since it is quite common in mainstream schools now.

Sadly it seems its the last form of discrimination that is still seen as acceptable amongst a large proportion of todays 'woke' youth.

Hope your son has a better day today x

Juicyfrooty · 16/10/2020 08:35

And I think the police should be looking at this as a hate crime since the lanyard triggered the assault

Ginfordinner · 16/10/2020 08:38

I agree with Juicy

Original poster
MillieVanilla · 16/10/2020 08:41

@Horsemad

How is your DS this morning OP?
He's still sore, it's right on the bone so he will be, his eye is going darker as well underneath. He's ok though, if anything he's angry that someone treated him like it.
OP posts:
MB90 · 16/10/2020 08:42

Ah OP, you sound like such a kind and caring mum and your son sounds lovely. I’m sorry about what has happened to him. My natural instinct would want to be to knock the other boy’s lights out! Push push push for permanent exclusion OP and criminal charges. Don’t accept no as an answer. Hope your DS is on the mend today Flowers

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