Strictly same sex couple (Nicola Adams) Not really a homophobe, it's just the mechanics that don't work....

[RumTruffles]

.....NOT MY WORDS. This was a conversation I overheard on Saturday night.

DW and I popped out for dinner for a child free evening. Was having a lovely time, before I unintentionally, but unavoidably tune in to a conversation at the next table.

A couple of brothers (I presume) had taken their mother out for dinner and the subject of Strictly and Nicola Adams came up. I tried hard to ignore, as I could tell this wasn't going to be something I wanted to hear.

One of the brothers, who was incredibly loud, stated that he "doesn't necessarily have an issue with the whole same sex thing but it's just the mechanics that don't work in a show like Strictly". Just the mechanics?! The mum went further and scoffed "Bah! Well the BBC have gone too far! I won't be watching Strictly again. They've lost me". Good riddance as far as I'm concerned. She then went much further and said one of the most disgusting things I'd ever heard "I mean, I was surprised they gave her a medal at the Olympics. It was obvious she was a lesbian even back then", to which all 3 of them mumbled in agreement.

I was about to say something, when the loud brother caught my eye and saw I was seething and he very abruptly steered the topic of conversation to something else.

Wise

I could feel my blood boiling. Do people really think like this?! Still?

I understand I am possibly throwing myself into the lions den somewhat, with the "controversial" strictly debate as I've seen this being discussed on here before a couple of years ago, but honestly, in 2020 are people still thinking that it looks "wrong" to see a couple of the same sex dancing?

The mother of course went to a totally different level of bigoted and is clearly just a horrible person, but it reminded me how this attitude still exists and it's f@#%ing depressing!

That's it really. Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds this attitude depressing as hell!

Ok. The premises on Strictly and DOI is not about partners being sexually attracted to one another. Not at all. In that case why does a lesbian need pairing with a straight female if it's not about sexual attraction?

But gay people are still shouted at, spat at, asked 'So which of you is the man /woman then?'

Well, if Nicola is going to wear the trousers, that’s not going to help dispel the image of lesbians = one being the butch one and the other being the lipstick one, will it?

And I’d find it odd to watch two blokes doing the tango whether they be gay/gay or straight/straight or gay/straight because, it just is.

Call me homophobic, I don’t care because I know I’m not. Just like I know I’m not transphobic because I say trans women aren’t women.

Well aren’t you lovely.

@Janevaljane

They aren't a same sex couple though, if by couple you mean having a relationship.

We all know what couple means in the context of the show.

@LaureBerthaud, but you know you still are, right? Saying that seeing two men dance together is odd, because it "just is", is 100% homophobic, so you can continue to be in denial if you like, but it is what it is.

@LaureBerthaud

But gay people are still shouted at, spat at, asked 'So which of you is the man /woman then?'

Well, if Nicola is going to wear the trousers, that’s not going to help dispel the image of lesbians = one being the butch one and the other being the lipstick one, will it?

And I’d find it odd to watch two blokes doing the tango whether they be gay/gay or straight/straight or gay/straight because, it just is.

Call me homophobic, I don’t care because I know I’m not. Just like I know I’m not transphobic because I say trans women aren’t women.

Just wow.

The ignorance on display in this thread is really shocking at times.

So you think the problem is that lesbians aren't doing a good enough job of showing to the world that their relationships don't comprise butch /femme couples? That's the problem rather than others shouting abuse at them and thinking that hurling that question at them in front of others as a form of mockery is acceptable?

Lesbian couples, like all couples, should feel free to express themselves however they see fit. Their expression is not the problem, the assault that they face from others for it is.

Thanks for demonstrating to the rest of the posters the subtle forms of homophobia that still exist, and why the increased visibility and representation from figures like Nicola Adams is so important.

And I’d find it odd to watch two blokes doing the tango whether they be gay/gay or straight/straight or gay/straight because, it just is.

No it isn't. The fact that you think it is shows how ingrained the societal 'norms' have become that anything different to that is 'wrong' to you.

Family entertainment and the mainstream media is extremely heteronormative. You almost never have causal references to same sex partners or small acts of normalising like this. Lesbians especially seem to be under represented.
I doubt it’s informed dancing purists who don’t like the dancing style of two women. It’s homophobic idiots who think two Gay women not hiding there identity is ‘shoving it down people’s throats’.
I think the answer to why it’s important was in the pub that day.

It’s homophobic idiots who think two Gay women not hiding there identity is ‘shoving it down people’s throats’

Well, my thought was more about it not being two gay women. Its one gay woman and a straight woman.

@Janevaljane

It’s homophobic idiots who think two Gay women not hiding there identity is ‘shoving it down people’s throats’

Well, my thought was more about it not being two gay women. Its one gay woman and a straight woman.

But it's the celebrity everyone cares about, and honestly who knows about the sexuality of her partner, she certainly has no obligation to confirm if she is gay / straight / bi

@LaureBerthaud

But gay people are still shouted at, spat at, asked 'So which of you is the man /woman then?'

Well, if Nicola is going to wear the trousers, that’s not going to help dispel the image of lesbians = one being the butch one and the other being the lipstick one, will it?

And I’d find it odd to watch two blokes doing the tango whether they be gay/gay or straight/straight or gay/straight because, it just is.

Call me homophobic, I don’t care because I know I’m not. Just like I know I’m not transphobic because I say trans women aren’t women.

Why is it super important to you that lesbians shouldn't be butch/femme?

I know not all lesbians are, but some are, right?

And btw, yes, you do sound homophobic.

I have just typed “two men tango” into YouTube and am happy to retract my statement that “two blokes doing the tango is odd”.

Why is it super important to you that lesbians shouldn't be butch/femme?

It isn’t in the least bit important to me. OP talked about lesbians being asked which one is the man/woman by thugs.

They aren't two lesbians

They are one lesbian and a straight woman. Therefore the lesbian part is irrelevant.

The two men in Dancing on Ice were both gay.

Ok I cant comment on the dancing because I know nothing about it but did the mother really say that??? Omg its like one of those little Britain characters . Hilarious. I mean I would laugh at anyone who said such a ridiculous thing.

@Aposterhasnoname

I think you should keep your sticky beak out of peoples private conversations. Calling someone out if they said such shite to you is one thing, butting in to a strangers private discussion is entirely another.

Try spending more time talking to your DW when you’re out, instead of listening in on others.

Someone once said that not calling out racism, sexism, homophobia makes us just as culpable as the people saying those things.

I wouldn’t have been able to keep my mouth shut

I wouldn't have been able to resist butting in and asking if they'd dare make those nasty little comments to her face.

She then went much further and said one of the most disgusting things I'd ever heard "I mean, I was surprised they gave her a medal at the Olympics. It was obvious she was a lesbian even back then", to which all 3 of them mumbled in agreement.

Ugh. Gross. That honestly make me feel a bit sick.

There was a similar discussion when Susan Calman was on Strictly. I seem to recall she was a bit pissed of that it was suggested she should dance with a woman and specifically requested a male partner.

@Lexilooo

There was a similar discussion when Susan Calman was on Strictly. I seem to recall she was a bit pissed of that it was suggested she should dance with a woman and specifically requested a male partner.

Yes, I don't blame her.

Generally they do talking head type interviews with the celebs' significant others — I don't know if we'll have more or less of those with the way it's being done this year.

@LaureBerthaud

I have just typed “two men tango” into YouTube and am happy to retract my statement that “two blokes doing the tango is odd”.

So you decided it was odd before you ever saw it?

@Soontobe60 and @ViciousJackdaw, it was very difficult, believe me. Different circumstances and I think the outcome would have been different.

@Lexilooo

There was a similar discussion when Susan Calman was on Strictly. I seem to recall she was a bit pissed of that it was suggested she should dance with a woman and specifically requested a male partner.

Yes, i referred to this upthread but was told that Susan doesn't speak for all lesbians. Obviously not but I was making the point that not all lesbians want a female dance partner. Susan herself thought that suggestion was odd.