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Original poster

Strictly same sex couple (Nicola Adams) Not really a homophobe, it's just the mechanics that don't work....

184 replies

RumTruffles · 12/10/2020 10:46

.....NOT MY WORDS. This was a conversation I overheard on Saturday night.

DW and I popped out for dinner for a child free evening. Was having a lovely time, before I unintentionally, but unavoidably tune in to a conversation at the next table.

A couple of brothers (I presume) had taken their mother out for dinner and the subject of Strictly and Nicola Adams came up. I tried hard to ignore, as I could tell this wasn't going to be something I wanted to hear.

One of the brothers, who was incredibly loud, stated that he "doesn't necessarily have an issue with the whole same sex thing Hmm but it's just the mechanics that don't work in a show like Strictly". Just the mechanics?! The mum went further and scoffed "Bah! Well the BBC have gone too far! I won't be watching Strictly again. They've lost me". Good riddance as far as I'm concerned. She then went much further and said one of the most disgusting things I'd ever heard "I mean, I was surprised they gave her a medal at the Olympics. It was obvious she was a lesbian even back then", to which all 3 of them mumbled in agreement.

I was about to say something, when the loud brother caught my eye and saw I was seething and he very abruptly steered the topic of conversation to something else.

Wise Angry

I could feel my blood boiling. Do people really think like this?! Still?

I understand I am possibly throwing myself into the lions den somewhat, with the "controversial" strictly debate Hmm as I've seen this being discussed on here before a couple of years ago, but honestly, in 2020 are people still thinking that it looks "wrong" to see a couple of the same sex dancing?

The mother of course went to a totally different level of bigoted and is clearly just a horrible person, but it reminded me how this attitude still exists and it's f@#%ing depressing!

That's it really. Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds this attitude depressing as hell!

OP posts:
DizzyPigeon · 13/10/2020 14:36

I can't believe people are still trying to come up with bullshit arguments about this!

I have to think they are on the wind up, because there's no other rational explanation.

Janevaljane · 13/10/2020 14:40

Oh I don't know. I really like Nicola and think she's great. It just seems really tokenistic, particularly as noone seems to have a problem with men never dancing with men.

Original poster
RumTruffles · 13/10/2020 14:52

@Janevaljane, it might seem "tokenistic" because there has been ZERO representation before now.

As for nobody wanting to see two men dance together, it could have been either....or shock horror, both! It would have been equally as exciting.

OP posts:
Janevaljane · 13/10/2020 14:53

I bet two men won't dance together though.

SleepingStandingUp · 13/10/2020 15:00

@MotheringShites

Surely “the mechanics” refers to the physical differences between males and females and the steps/moves that can only really be accomplished with a significant size/strength difference. Obviously there are male/female couples who don’t have this, but they don’t tend to get very far.

I am a little bemused about why this is necessary. It’s not a dating show or a sexual compatibility contest. It’s dancing. Of course I don’t think it looks wrong for same sex people to dance together, but I don’t see how they can be judged fairly against mixed-sex couples when they might have a disadvantage.

If it's the strength of the woman being able to do lifts etc, o wouldn't have thought the boxing champion really was a concern. I have more faith on her lifts than say the young skinny YouTubers they have on!

Op yanbu to be upset hearing such ignorance, I do think it's a minority view of that's any comfort

SarahAndQuack · 13/10/2020 15:44

@Janevaljane

Why would it make people wonder if the woman professional is gay? confused

Because its only challenging norms if she's gay! Otherwise its just two women who have randomly chosen to dance together.

Yes, you're absolutely right, it's not challenging any norms to have a lesbian dance in a same-sex couple on Strictly, that's why there's been no debate about it at all and no one has ever raised an eyebrow on the subject. Hmm
Janevaljane · 13/10/2020 15:47

I look forward to seeing a male couple in the next series.

SleepingStandingUp · 13/10/2020 16:22

@Janevaljane

I look forward to seeing a male couple in the next series.
I suspect they've had females as Dancing On Ice had two men all they didn't want to be seen to be taking the trodden route
SleepingStandingUp · 13/10/2020 16:27

@Janevaljane

I don't watch it - have they had gay men celebs paired with male dancers?
No that was Dancing on Ice
picklemewalnuts · 13/10/2020 16:28

I'm offended that not agreeing this is progressive, groundbreaking and an essential next step is being equated with homophobia. It absolutely isn't.

Disagreeing with you is not ignorant or homophobic. It's a different opinion.

SleepingStandingUp · 13/10/2020 16:35

@Janevaljane

I'm just not sure why because she's a lesbian she has to have a female partner. Susan Calman didn't. It seems a bit tokenistic to me. Especially as they clearly can't handle having a male celeb with a male partner.
They've not had a male celeb with a male pro cos DOI got there first so they've gone female.
Original poster
RumTruffles · 13/10/2020 16:36

Disagreeing with you is not ignorant or homophobic. It's a different opinion.

Yes, a different opinion, which just so happens to be ignorant and homophobic.

OP posts:
Janevaljane · 13/10/2020 16:43

They've not had a male celeb with a male pro cos DOI got there first so they've gone female

Ah! That makes sense. Thanks.

picklemewalnuts · 13/10/2020 16:46

Ah well. No point discussing it then.
There are many, many reasons I'm not convinced by same sex couples competing on strictly, I've said I'll be watching and interested to see how it goes, and that I can understand why she would avoid dancing with a man, that I would also avoid dancing and training as closely as that with a man, and I can see why she'd like to dance as a man.

If all you can see in that different opinion is ignorance and homophobia, then you must have trouble with a hell of a lot of people.

lovablequalities · 13/10/2020 16:54

In the Argentine tango the partnership was traditionally two males. They learned both leader and follower roles. It makes you a better dancer.

I don't think same sex or opposite sex make any difference. And I don't think it's particularly woke or what have you. Most folk will get over their surprise very quickly.

From a style point of view the contrast between outfits and roles is sometimes part of the choreography so that'll be interesting.

bitheby · 13/10/2020 16:56

Haven't RTFT but surely it's all about the heels?

I'm bi and pretty masculine; don't wear dresses or heels or makeup. If I went on strictly, I'd want to wear flat shoes and trousers as I'd just feel like I was in drag otherwise (and find it impossible to walk). Maybe Nicola is the sand.

bitheby · 13/10/2020 16:56

*same

OLittleTownofBethlehem · 13/10/2020 17:17

I heard Nicola on the radio saying that she said she was happy dancing with a male or female professional. So it sounds like it was the BBC who made the decision not her.

Original poster
RumTruffles · 13/10/2020 17:17

@picklemewalnuts, you're not really making sense. That opinion is bigoted. What are these "many many" reasons you don't like the idea of a same sex Strictly pairing? You sound incredibly anti.

OP posts:
M1ssour1 · 13/10/2020 17:27

I’m shocked people think like this. It is homophobic Do they really think same sex couples don’t dance together or aren’t deemed valid/ worthy of watching and appreciating? Just awful.

Janevaljane · 13/10/2020 17:33

They aren't a same sex couple though, if by couple you mean having a relationship.

Original poster
RumTruffles · 13/10/2020 17:42

In a nutshell @ M1ssour1.

It's all very, 'oh I'm fine with what the gays, I just don't want to see or hear about it, but I'm not a homophobe. Goodness no! I have a gay friend! I'm all for equality, I wholeheartedly support LGBT rights, but do they really need to have soooo many of them in the soaps these days? It's just gone too far now' etc.

OP posts:
WatchTooMuchBelowDeck · 13/10/2020 17:47

That's not really it all, it's more just thinking that sexuality is irrelevant, like it is to almost every single job I can think of.

It seems like the BBC made a decision for her taking her sexuality into account. Isn't that the opposite of progress...?

I'd like to see dancers allowed to pick a male or female partner as they wished, to mix it up a bit. It's not homophobic to think that shouldn't be linked to a person's sexuality.

catpoooffender · 13/10/2020 17:56

@movingonup20

I don't care less whether people have a male or female relationship but I don't see how that has anything to do with dancing - you are dancing with them, not dating them so why do you need same sex partnerships? It does change the dynamics and speaks of political correctness to me. Not understanding why the bbc have done this has nothing to do with homophobia, dancing this style is one man one woman.
Rubbish. Whilst couples who dance together are not often romantically involved, they usually give the impression they are - the way they hold each and look at each other is all part of the performance. It's a romantic art form. So why shouldn't same sex couples be represented?
iklboo · 13/10/2020 18:04

It seems like the BBC made a decision for her taking her sexuality into account. Isn't that the opposite of progress...?

I think they had a proper discussion with her about it first rather than just telling her it was happening. If she wasn't happy with it she would have been able to say so.

I'm looking forward to seeing her dance. She's a pretty inspirational woman.