Friend’s comment about my new house/being single

[Litza]

I’m probably being over sensitive. Have NC.

I’m 35 and recently broke up with someone. It’s been shit. I’d love to settle down. I’ve lived in my current place for 6 years, a two bed terrace, on the market for 300. I’ve been looking to move anyway because I’ve been a bit bored of this place, first home that was bought when I had no money really and lower salary. Anyway, I’ve decided to move for a bigger garden and to relocate closer to family.

I’m looking at places more countryside way and often the houses are generally bigger and a bit more expensive. I looked at one the other day asking price 525, 4 bed, nice garden, couple of reception rooms and proper parking. It’s not a mansion but a substantial house.

She asked me to send her the link. I did. She sent numerous laughing faces back and said that I would be rambling around it that and she couldn’t imagine me in it.

I don’t know why this has upset me, probably because I feel sensitive about being alone again. But also now I feel conflicted...I have the money to spend and I am on almost double pay since when I took out this mortgage on this small two bed. I wanted to put the money into a new house and climb the ladder but I feel like maybe she’s right, is this going to make me feel lonelier? One the other hand, I don’t want to live in a two bed terrace forever when my life has moved on financially...I would like a utility room and a proper drive etc!

I know the market may crash etc but this isn’t about that it’s just about what she’s said...will I be seen as a joke buying somewhere bigger? I feel like her life is moving on as is everyone else’s but I’m sort of stuck now according to her. She’s such a close friend too and I feel hurt by her comments.

Fuck her.

She isn't going to live in it - or be invited around if she keeps this carry on up.

Go for it OP.

1. You love it.
2. You can afford it.
3. You don't have to live there forever if you decide you don't want to, but since you can afford it, it will surely be a good investment.

" The kind of people who judge that sort of thing, would see a man with a very small house and a small or no car, as unsuccessful and therefore less attractive. That kind of person will see you as setting your sights high, as obviously you could only be interested in a man who is better off than you (and he in you), so you've ruled out all the men with smaller houses from your dating pool."

I agree with this. I'm also single, but I do have children. I live in a nice big house in a nice area, and obviously live a nice life - holidays, car etc. I think it makes people do a double-take when they see a woman doing well for herself and living in a nice property without the help of a man.

I do think your friend is jealous if your lovely big house, you should ignore that and love your space, you totally deserve that.

@Litza

sunshine no she didn’t say I was stuck...I felt like that’s what it is like now.. as in if I don’t meet someone then I can’t justify living somewhere bigger.

I’m v sensitive about it so have clearly read into it a lot..

You said you are stuck according to her which is why I said it. It isn't a big thing but if she said it she is a cow and if you think it give your head a wobble as you are in charge of your own life. Believe it.

Op I think this has particularly hit a nerve because you’re single and your friend said it thoughtlessly not knowing how upsetting it could be. She could have easily been commenting on a six person family living in a two up two down or opting for a sprawling mansion.

In your shoes I’d opt for the nicest area with the best views and the flexible option to play round with layout so that you can develop the house to meet different needs later in life

Live wherever makes you happy. Just that...💕