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Original poster

Just been contacted by friend abroad in dire straits

465 replies

WhatdoIdo2020 · 12/09/2020 09:47

Have name changed.

Several years ago I went on a tour of a country I've always wanted to visit. A very beautiful yet poor country with amazing wildlife. I had an amazing time and the guide was very friendly and knowledgeable. We stayed friends on Facebook and have spoken a few times since then.

Anyway he's just contacted me on Messenger and said that all the tours have been cancelled because of Covid and he's starving. He had a child who he'd saved up for to study abroad and the child recently died in an accident over there and now he's got no money and wasn't able to bring him home for the funeral.

I'm not sure what to do. Just giving? There's another one of the people on the tour who I'm still friends with on FB so I might ask if she's heard from him too.

I feel awful 😥

OP posts:
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7
userxx · 12/09/2020 10:49

We had an email from a client saying she had been robbed and was stuck in Spain, could we possibly send her some money, I rang her and she'd been hacked.

GetThatHelmetOn · 12/09/2020 10:49

... and no, I wouldn’t be contacting his employer or other people to confirm his words, if you doubt him, just would not be sending any money, he hasn’t asked for any. Simples

vdbfamily · 12/09/2020 10:50

Hi Op, I don't think this is necessarily a scam. If you can afford to send something then personally I would. It is good for us to give to those less fortunate and if you say you are returning soon you can find out the whole situation when you get there. If you are yourself in financial difficulty then do not give more than you can afford.

BlackSwan · 12/09/2020 10:51

Scam. And even if not, you can’t help everyone

Atalune · 12/09/2020 10:51

Scam.

Georgyporky · 12/09/2020 10:52

Offer to send him a food parcel, & judge his reaction.

GetThatHelmetOn · 12/09/2020 10:52

We had an email from a client saying she had been robbed and was stuck in Spain, could we possibly send her some money, I rang her and she'd been hacked.

I had the same but not from a client but a good friend I couldn’t imagine asking for money no matter how bad the problem was, so I sent her a text before replying to the message and yes, she had been hacked and was unaware someone was asking for money on her behalf.

CodenameVillanelle · 12/09/2020 10:52

Send him £100 by western union if you can afford to lose it but you can't get involved in repatriating his child's body or fundraising for him. Sorry.

DobbyLovesSocks · 12/09/2020 10:52

We had this a few years ago at work. My colleague received an email (straightaway got the spidey senses tingling) from another colleague asking for help as her bag had been stolen with her passports and documents and could my colleague help. We immediately smelt a rat and contacted the person's line manager - turned out they were on holiday but absolutely fine. The plot thickened when we chatted to the colleague on her return from holiday and she told us that her great aunt had received the same message and had phoned her parents to check that £1,000 would be enough to help get her back home. Cue lots of fb messaging and texting assuring friends and family that colleague was ok but had been hacked. Luckily no-one sent any money - or at least not any amount that would be greatly missed.
Apparently if you log onto hotel/resort wifi and don't check its the actual hotel wifi your phone/apps can be hacked (think C1ub Med Wifi instead of Club Med wifi for example)

ZZGirl · 12/09/2020 10:53

Starving to death but can afford the use of the Internet? Red flags!

crankysaurus · 12/09/2020 10:53

If it's genuine, you could offer to support local charities that can help him, as I should imagine they'd check out his story and support him appropriately.

Ponchy · 12/09/2020 10:53

Contact the tour company to confirm what he's saying. If they can confirm the circumstances I'd be inclined to help. Can you somehow send food vouchers?

kevinn · 12/09/2020 10:54

Honestly, how do people fall for this shit...?

vodkaredbullgirl · 12/09/2020 10:54

Scam don't send any money.

Porcupineinwaiting · 12/09/2020 10:54

Unlike most on here I wouldnt be so sure it's a scam. People in developing countries do die far more frequently than those in the West, if the country in question is one that relies on tourism and he's employed in that sector he will be on the bones of his arse and funerals are important in many cultures, even among the poor.

I mean, you dont have to give him anything. You can just block him and carry on with your life if the truth of his makes you uncomfortable.

lljkk · 12/09/2020 10:54

Food security in Madagascar is relatively good right now. They have not been hit hard by COVID cases (young population, of course, no decent mass health care system keeping people with chronic diseases alive). Be very cautious, OP.

Just been contacted by friend abroad in dire straits
Haworthia · 12/09/2020 10:57

Whether his story is genuine or not, doesn’t it seem strange that out of all the people in the world he could contact for help, he’s contacted a tourist he met once at work?

HowFastIsTooFast · 12/09/2020 10:58

Starving to death but internet access and a device to access it on? Come on OP this is clearly a scam.

Can I assume that this message thread was initiated by him, not from you asking how he was? How often have you chatted through messenger over 4 years? Regularly, or never?

Sorry to be harsh but writing as someone inside the travel industry he was never friends with you because you were actually friends, it was so if you ever returned to the area you had an easy contact to give him business again, or to recommend him to others. Can you see how many fiends he's got? I'll bet it's thousands. Everyone he's ever guided, and he'll have sent the same message to them all. Delete it, unfriend him and move on.

SockYarn · 12/09/2020 10:59

You can just block him and carry on with your life if the truth of his makes you uncomfortable.

Passive aggressive much? Hmm

Sending money to some randomer who you don't really know and can't verify the facts is downright stupid. If you are "made uncomfortable" then you do what millions of other people do and support a recognised charity.

PremierInn · 12/09/2020 11:00

It doesn't sound like he has been hacked. I don't know why everyone is in denial about what it must be like to work in a third world country in the tourist industry during covid. Not everywhere does comfy furlough schemes you know. That doesn't mean you need to send money. The part about his child might or might not be true. I wouldn't feel bad if you sent money and it turned out he was just poor, not literally starving. What's the big deal? Equally, if you don't want/can't afford to send money, don't.

3billboardsoutsidebarnsley · 12/09/2020 11:00

My first thought is scam too. Years ago I got a text from a friend saying she was in trouble etc etc. I was immediately concerned and upset for her but then thought why the heck is she contacting me. I’m a friend but beyond the special interest group we are in i don’t see her. She has a huge circle of friends some going back to early childhood. If she can text then why me not one of her really close friends. It was only when my daughter pointed all this out to me I looked at the whole thing again and thought nope this just doesn’t sound credible.

SantanaBinLorry · 12/09/2020 11:00

Santana's DP here

I've been to Madagascar and this sounds completely plausable to me. If I had the money I'd have sent some over to people I knew there by now as they were entirely reliant on tourism. I'd have probably gone through people working at the place I stayed as they were already doing a fundraiser and I know they'd get all the money to the people who need it.

The poverty there is really bad, I was asked to take someone's unborne baby home with me once she'd had it because it would have a better life here. People died on a regular basis while I was there.

Peronally if I had spare cash and knew the guy I'd send the money, how much would he really need to keep him going? £50 would go a hell of a long way there.

stoppingstones · 12/09/2020 11:00

Op you did the right thing posting on Mumsnet for a second opinion. Now you've got it. Please listen to what everyone is telling you. You don't seem to have acknowledged that you are likely being scammed.
My cousin was travelling last year, and some how hackers got I to his messenger account. They were able to read all his previous messages, profiling him as they read all previous correspondence. They got a rough idea of his background.
Then they sent a message to quite a few of his contacts using plausible details they got from his previous messages, enough to make the message sound genuine. The message they sent was very similar to the one you've just received, it made out he was starving and had suffered great tragedy in his life.
If you want to help at all, I'd find a ( different) way of getting in contact with your friend to warn your friend that he's been hacked.
Seriously, this is a very common occurrence and isn't genuine

BlueThistles · 12/09/2020 11:01

Tell him you are also starving and need help. See what he says 🤔

CodenameVillanelle · 12/09/2020 11:01

@lljkk

Food security in Madagascar is relatively good right now. They have not been hit hard by COVID cases (young population, of course, no decent mass health care system keeping people with chronic diseases alive). Be very cautious, OP.
I have family who live in a country which depends on tourism and has very low Covid cases but all tourism has stopped due to closing the borders. They aren't destitute as they thankfully own their homes and one member of the family has been able to work throughout. However they have been given £80 pcm government support per family (and that's only for those in official employment) and that one person is now supporting 3 households including 6 children. I can well believe that people there are living in absolute poverty and destitution. I've been told by the relatives that I would not recognise the place. That there are people fighting in the streets sniffing glue and robbing people with knives because they are desperate. Why wouldn't the story be true? It's actually more likely to be true than one of those holiday scams. Doesn't mean the OP is obliged to help financially.