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Original poster

Just been contacted by friend abroad in dire straits

465 replies

WhatdoIdo2020 · 12/09/2020 09:47

Have name changed.

Several years ago I went on a tour of a country I've always wanted to visit. A very beautiful yet poor country with amazing wildlife. I had an amazing time and the guide was very friendly and knowledgeable. We stayed friends on Facebook and have spoken a few times since then.

Anyway he's just contacted me on Messenger and said that all the tours have been cancelled because of Covid and he's starving. He had a child who he'd saved up for to study abroad and the child recently died in an accident over there and now he's got no money and wasn't able to bring him home for the funeral.

I'm not sure what to do. Just giving? There's another one of the people on the tour who I'm still friends with on FB so I might ask if she's heard from him too.

I feel awful 😥

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
stoppingstones · 12/09/2020 10:10

Scam

Zaphodsotherhead · 12/09/2020 10:12

But why you? Why contact you? If you haven't seen him for years, surely there are people he must have contacted first - those who were on the tour last year, year before?

Just beware. Even if it is genuine, if you respond positively, then what's to stop him passing your contact details on to all his friends, who may also be 'starving' and you being deluged with begging messages from half a continent?

It's hard, but you can't help everyone. And it does sound very much like a scam.

lifesalongsong · 12/09/2020 10:13

@WhatdoIdo2020

He didn't ask for money as such he just said that he's starving to death. I asked if he's got any family and he said his wife died years ago and he lost his child a couple of months back. Then he told me what happened to his child and that he couldn't bring the body back for burial. And that all the tours have been cancelled this year.

Name changed because I don't want anyone linking posts or anyone posting on "news" sites like I've seen before (dunno if that would happen).

He did seem like a good genuine person when I was there. Educated, great English, telling us interesting and funny stories. He keeps saying he's too hungry. There must be a lot of people in these situations it's awful.

No one's saying he's not a nice person, they're saying that most likely a scammer is pretending to be him to get you to send money, these people are very clever at getting you to believe them
lachy · 12/09/2020 10:13

Scam. I can understand why you're upset, but actually that was the overall point. The fact it is tugging at your heartstrings means that its worked and you're tempted to send money.

Please don't. If it does turn out to be a scam then you'll be relieved, but if you do send money, they will definitely contact you for more.

BoobsOnTheMoon · 12/09/2020 10:15

Scam scam scam scam!

Delete and block.

KenAdams · 12/09/2020 10:16

If you're friends on FB wouldn't he have posted about his wife and son dying on there?

FelicityPike · 12/09/2020 10:16

That’s a scam! Please don’t send any money.

WhatInFreshHell · 12/09/2020 10:16

Please don't fall for this OP! It's a classic scam!

user165423256322 · 12/09/2020 10:17

He did seem like a good genuine person when I was there. Educated, great English, telling us interesting and funny stories.

It's called a persona. Earns tips, recommendations, repeat custom.

None of those things mean he can't be manipulative and a con artist.

Somebody contacting you claiming to be "starving to death" and providing a convoluted list of reasons why he has no money is quite blatantly asking for money. I don't know why you're suggesting that isn't what he's doing.

If he's literally that broke how is he contacting you?

BlueThistles · 12/09/2020 10:17

SCAM

but if it makes you feel the need to be altruistic the send him your hard earned cash.

problem solved 🌺

RainbowRaine · 12/09/2020 10:18

Have you got an alternative way of contacting him or a family member/friend of his?

MrsJackRackham · 12/09/2020 10:19

What device is he using to Facebook messenger? If you were starving to death surely you would sell your smartphone to buy some food?

Lollyneenah · 12/09/2020 10:19

Do you have his telephone number OP?

I can see how upset you are, but this is a foreign man asking a nice probably middle class and middle aged lady in britain for cash.

How many women do you think he may have copy and pasted that message to?

I've no doubt in my mind that third world countries must be suffering terribly right now. What country is it and what is the exchange rate like?

Original poster
WhatdoIdo2020 · 12/09/2020 10:20

He is employed through one of the well known tour companies that do trips all over the world, and I think also by one of the more local companies in that country. I wonder if I could contact them?

He said he paid for the child's studies in the other country, but they had an accident while they were over there.

I've screen shot all the conversation and sent it to the other woman asking if she's heard from him.

OP posts:
FOKKYFC · 12/09/2020 10:20

So he's not asking for money to repatriate his child? Just telling you it was something he couldn't do as he has no money?
I'd definitely investigate this further, but if he really is someone of whom you're fond, and you're satisfied he really is on his uppers - I'd probably send a few quid, tbh. Not a lot. Not more than you can afford. If it's a really poor country I'd guess thirty quid is a lot.

PinkPosyPetals · 12/09/2020 10:20

He’s starving but has internet ? I’d rather eat

AlternativePerspective · 12/09/2020 10:23

Tell you what, send me money and I’ll make sure it goes to a good cause. Grin seriously this is 100% a scam. I wouldn’t even go and do any digging into this bloke’s life. Either he is a con artist or his details have been hacked, but I suspect it’s the former.

If you give this man any money you’re a mug.

IrenetheQuaint · 12/09/2020 10:24

Which country is it? Can you cross check his story of lockdown and starvation with media reports of what is going on there?

AlternativePerspective · 12/09/2020 10:25

I've screen shot all the conversation and sent it to the other woman asking if she's heard from him. she most likely has. He’s probably messaged most people in his address book because if one in ten sends him money he’s on to a good thing.

OP you’re not special to him, and no, I absolutely wouldn’t look into it any further.

If he’s got internet and a smartphone etc he’s not starving.

Original poster
WhatdoIdo2020 · 12/09/2020 10:26

I don't have his number, he's just on FB. He's in Madagascar. So much poverty there anyway, let alone in these times. No idea about exchange rates or anything. I need to go out soon anyway.

OP posts:
ScrapThatThen · 12/09/2020 10:27

Being practical, this is either a scam (by someone who is not him, or possibly by him deciding to exploit the contacts he has accrued, with an exaggerated story, perhaps understandably if income dried up) or an individual in desperate straits who you (presumably) cannot afford to support financially indefinitely and whatever donation you send you will not be able to continue when more and more is sought. And be wary of giving this other woman guilt or leading her to be scammed.

Zaphodsotherhead · 12/09/2020 10:28

And his mistake is over-egging the pudding. Not just starving but with a dead child and wife.. next thing his house will have been struck by lightning and he's living in a pothole in the middle of the road...

If he'd stuck at 'out of work and starving' it may have been plausible.

Nousernameforme · 12/09/2020 10:29

Well Whether it's a scam or not only you can judge. I think in that situation I would probably send some but make it known that that was all I could afford and be done with it knowing that if he was in trouble at least you helped. I would rather risk a scam then risk not helping

Kez200 · 12/09/2020 10:29

Ive had similar messages in past. All scams. In one case the person who needed help was stood by me whsn I opened the email!

WunWun · 12/09/2020 10:30

Its possible that he befriends lots of women on Facebook for this exact reason.