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Original poster

Just been contacted by friend abroad in dire straits

465 replies

WhatdoIdo2020 · 12/09/2020 09:47

Have name changed.

Several years ago I went on a tour of a country I've always wanted to visit. A very beautiful yet poor country with amazing wildlife. I had an amazing time and the guide was very friendly and knowledgeable. We stayed friends on Facebook and have spoken a few times since then.

Anyway he's just contacted me on Messenger and said that all the tours have been cancelled because of Covid and he's starving. He had a child who he'd saved up for to study abroad and the child recently died in an accident over there and now he's got no money and wasn't able to bring him home for the funeral.

I'm not sure what to do. Just giving? There's another one of the people on the tour who I'm still friends with on FB so I might ask if she's heard from him too.

I feel awful 😥

OP posts:
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7
AsanteSana · 13/09/2020 18:52

For goodness sake OP, you are being played like a fish on a hook. Delete everything, block, put it out of your mind and concentrate on your own wellbeing - sorry to say, but it seems as though you have invested far too much of your mental energy into this virtual stranger. The modus operandi of the messages bears all the hallmarks of a classic scam, every single element of it; poverty, starvation, widowhood, loss of a child, unable to pay for burial or repatriation of the body, targeting you as the only person who has a heart - it reeks of fraud or attempts to extract money from you.

But you are not listening to all the posters who have told you this. I just hope that your husband is on board with this 'cos I sense that you are going to transfer money regardless.

BigBadVoodooHat · 13/09/2020 18:58

Perhaps I could tell him my husband said that I can't help?

Why? Confused

Just block and move on. You don’t need to make excuses, validate your actions, or hide behind your husband.

In all likelihood you’re not conversing with the person you think you are: His fb/messenger have been hacked.

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 13/09/2020 19:00

You should point out to this chap that things are not so good over here either.
We have to queue to get into supermarkets, or else have someone else deliver it to our doorstep (we have to put it away ourselves though!)
We have to stay 2 metres apart (if you can, if not it doesn't really matter)
We can only meet 6 (six) people at a time.
We have to soak all our shopping in bleach for 36 hours,
We have to wear masks unless we're eating (or doing anything else with our mouth)
We can't have Granny and Grandad round for Sunday lunch (actually this is a bit of a blessing)
If we go on a exotic holiday we have to quarantine for two weeks (or 14 days whichever is the longer) on our return.
It's bloody relentless...

(Just in case... this is light-hearted, except the bit about Granny and Grandad)

Thisisnotnormal69 · 13/09/2020 19:06

As you say, you clearly are very naive and vulnerable to this - I don’t say this in a nasty way. Please don’t be stupid about this Sad

Ardnassa · 13/09/2020 19:06

Block and run a mile, OP. You barely know him and who knows where it will end. Once he realises you are a soft touch it will be relentless. I would not touch with a barge pole. If he is really desperate, why not contact as many people as he can? Or does he have you pegged as a soft touch?

The best thing you can do for your peace of mind is just block and move on. Give some money to a relevant charity which knows what it is doing instead.

AsanteSana · 13/09/2020 19:12

Please OP, can you really not see this for what it is - a very blatant attempt to extract money from you by a fraudster, conman or scammer who may, or may not be, the person you think ( and hope?) it is - someone who was paid to be friendly towards you whilst you were on a guided tour. Tour guides in developing countries are paid a pittance and make up their income with tips, gratuities and gifts from grateful clients. Therefore they befriend those most likely to cross their palm with silver - you are, sorry to be blunt, a prime target, your naivety is obvious from your posts. However altruistic your motives, do not send money or engage any further with this shadowy figure on the internet who you do not know.

dollypartonscoat · 13/09/2020 19:16

Just block him! Seriously.

Why do you need to hide behind your husband? Bizarre. This is a distress scam

AlternativePerspective · 13/09/2020 19:24

I’m sure the virtue signallers will be along in a minute to tell you that it’s probably genuine. Hmm But OP, you are far too invested in this. It upset you so much you couldn’t celebrate your anniversary? You don’t want to tell him no but want to say your husband said no?

If you were my partner I’d be thinking that far more went on on that holiday than you just talking to some tour guide and that his contacting you had brought back old feelings, and memories of your time together.

Nobody gets this over invested in someone they’ve only met for a few days years ago and only ever heard from once after that.

As for the “I would give/you should give something/this is obviously legit” people on here, this is why so many people warn against these things. They’re almost all scams. 99.9999999999% of them. Anyone who actually falls for this stuff is a bloody idiot, and if my partner gave money to some virtual stranger off the back of some spam mail on facebook I would seriously start to rethink our relationship.

SockYarn · 13/09/2020 19:26

@WhatdoIdo2020

My husband hasn't said much about it, thought it was a bit weird. Perhaps I could tell him my husband said that I can't help?
JUST BLOCK HIM!!!!

Jeezo. It's not hard.

mummmy2017 · 13/09/2020 19:27

The Red Cross are active in that country, if you feel you need to redirect him to them, to help him.
You could also make a small donation to the Red Cross.
This should help you sleep at night as £10 sent to them will go on food not to a scam artist.

JacktomyDaniel · 13/09/2020 19:34

Block. He's still got money to pay for data.

HarryHarry1 · 13/09/2020 19:39

Did you say that he is poor anyway? I mean, even when he is working?

You say you liked him and he was good at his job. In that case, if I could afford it, I might be inclined to send him a little something, even if he didn’t really have a dead child and wasn’t really starving, as long as it was understood that I could not give him anything else after that. If he asked again and it became obvious that he was just a chancer, I would then block him.

slashlover · 13/09/2020 19:41

Defend them against the accusation that they are all probably scammers/out to exploit.

People are not saying that OPs acquaintance is trying to scam her. They are saying that someone has probably hacked his account. PPs have said that this has happened to their family members or friends.

You personally knew the people you were sending money to or did it through a charity.

isthismylifenow · 13/09/2020 19:57

OP I live in another part of Africa and yes things are tough. Some people are without food. BUT there is so much scamming going on right now. I see posts every day of people asking for money for food. Many people have replied and offered food. But they have every excuse under the sun they they can't meet the person etc etc and they would just prefer the money. If they were so starving they would accept the food donation being offered surely.

Reading the messages, it looks like a scam.

If you send money, you will be asked again in the future.

InfertilitySukkks · 13/09/2020 20:08

His employer should be dealing with this.
Not you. Whilst in an ideal world it’s great that you have a conscious, I think in this specific situation you’re being naive. You obviously feel guilty from all you have said in your posts.

There is a MNer that posts on what she considers to be genuine-only posts. She’s been MNing since day 1, some will know who I mean. She speaks her mind and doesn’t hold back. The fact that she hasn’t posted on here should tell you all you need to know. I’m not saying yours isn’t genuinely, I’m saying she hasn’t posted because she thinks you’ll go ahead anyway, because of the guilt you’ll feel on the very slim chance of this being someone genuinely from your Contacts.

Please don’t feed the criminals Sad

SittingAround1 · 13/09/2020 20:46

www.anglo-malagasysociety.co.uk/organisations.html

Here is a list of uk charities who work in Madagascar. There are even a few who help people living in poverty. I suggest you donate to them instead of sending this random person money.

ChristmasSnowball · 13/09/2020 20:56

Ask him...

How much he needs?

See an amount , because if his being true, he would be ok with £20 for some food for afew days

ChristmasSnowball · 13/09/2020 20:57

I had messages from my auntie on fb messenger....

But it wasnt her, But it was her account...

No idea how they do it, but this person knew so much, But i caught the person out on 1 question i asked

BlueThistles · 13/09/2020 23:29

OP why are you giving this person all this power over you? this is beyond ridiculous 😱 just block him ffs 🌺

RainbowRaine · 14/09/2020 00:32

@ChristmasSnowball once someone has hacked an account they can read everything you have sent to the persons account they have hacked plus see everything you and everyone else has posted on your Facebook and on the hacked Facebook.

They would be able to build up a pretty accurate story based on all the above.

wildcherries · 14/09/2020 07:30

This is taking up too much mental space, OP. Block.

Prettybluepigeons · 14/09/2020 07:32

Block on everything. Forget about it.

Ullupullu · 14/09/2020 07:41

Why are you engaging op? In literally his first reply he asks for money ("help"). Say bye and block. He has clearly recognised you're a soft touch. You've got great advice in this thread.

Ullupullu · 14/09/2020 07:43

And FFS he's not a "friend"! Raise the bar. He's manipulating you brilliantly

Sparticuscaticus · 14/09/2020 07:44

OP you are going about this all the wrong way.

Please contact your local Trading standards dept they will discuss with you and very likely advise how this is a known SCAM

If his account has been hacked or not you've also landed him in trouble with his employer. I'd stop that right away, if employer replies s-to info damage- apologise and say you believe his account was hacked - don't mess with someone's employment again

If you send even a nominal amount. Far more will be asked for , it'll ramp up and your details will be shared. if they get your bank details in anyway, you'll find £2000 or more has been taken not £20 . Your phone number and email will be passed round , you might end up having to change them. Make sure all your passwords attached to your email and phone number for other accounts are very secure and different to each other.

Just block

It is very unlikely it is your friend, given info you've shared. The "kind human heart" stuff is typical scammer bullshit. They might as well say you're an 'easy mark"