Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only. PART 2

[bearlyactive]

To answer the most recent question...

What to do to stop procrastinating?

Take a nap. Keep procrastinating until it gets boring.

And my next question is...

How long will it take for this thread to fill up?

Because someone has nicked your stairs & ran off with your ladder and whilst you weren't looking the stair/ladder thief smeared super glue all over your chair.

Is a cheese & ham sandwich healthy?
(Bonkers thread in Chat)

Only if the cheese is from a golden cow, the ham from a silver pig, and you gro your own wheat.

Why am I hungry at 3am?

Because somewhere in the world it's actually lunch time.

Why does DD1 like to put her feet in a tub full of Orbeez?

They protect from disease and spiders

Milk or cream in my coffee?

Butter. Apparently it's very healthy....

Will drop off and pick up be less of a mess today?

No, there will be an alien invasion and the aliens will give all the kids sugary sweets which will make them incredibly hyper and uncontrollable.

What should I bake for a socially distanced picnic on Sunday?

A 2m long cake in the shape of a coronavirus.

Why have the police pulled over a lorry by the school and examining the cargo section?

Because the police have intel that there is a shed load of Haribo in the lorry trailer.

How long will schools be open for this time?

Precisely a day and a half ? What time will my Amazon delivery arrive?

3am. Owl post has taken a sub contract.

When can I disassemble the Lego creations?

When the layer of dust on them is more than an inch thick.

Why brambles?

What else is going to earn you about the poisonous fruit you are about to consume?!

What should I make for lunch?

A ham and cheese sandwich.

Why do lorries keep crashing into rail bridges around here?

The bridges see them coming and lower themselves. This stems from a lorry that used to touch rail bridges inappropriately. Now other lorries keep saying "not all lorries", but the bridges are having none of it.

Why do shadows always follow people?

Because they're the ultimate stalkers. You can never free yourself from them. Unless you're Peter Pan, and then you end up regretting it.

Why can't I have hot flushes during the day, when I'm actually cold?

Because the period gods don't want to make it easy for you ?

Where shall I walk to this afternoon ?

I don't know but you should definitely walk like an Egyptian.

Is it too early for gin?

Yes. (Well, it did say wrong answers only).

Why don't Crocs have teeth?

Because people don't like them smiling

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Trumps PA

Where is my cheese grater?

It has aspired to greater things and left for a job in Paris.

How can I stop my kitchen reeking of beer?

Neither, get your pet elephant to squirt western them.

Why is the chair I have been given to work from so bloody uncomfortable

Drink all the beer before it starts to smell

Why don't I refresh the page before I answer the question above

Because you are Queen of the Thread and shouldn't have to refresh anything.

Why do I spend most of my life driving?

Because you are going round the bend.

Why did my Great Granny say that she was 'Going to visit my Aunt' when she needed the loo?