Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only.

[bearlyactive]

For example:

Q: "How do you cook an egg?"
A: "Fry it on the bonnet of your car, especially in this heat."

My question to you is...
Why do storks raise one leg?

No you should have three starters instead ,would superman beat Spiderman?

No they're weaklings & Mr Tumble would take them both out at the same time with just his bow tie.

Now does the Queen have any secret ambitions?

Yes to be a normal unrecognisable old lady Will Joe Biden make a good president?

If he can find the last bit of Lego that rolled under the sofa, yes, otherwise he might have to use papier-mâché for the head. (Probably still better than the current one though)

What are toenails for?

Toenails are there to save you bending to scratch your legs.

What are we watching on TV nowadays?

The Archers on channel 4

Who will be in charge when Boris goes?

David Coverdale

Why does my cat want to sit on my head?

Quite simply to suffocate you and take over the world.

Why does my dog snore?

To keep you awake,

What’s for breakfast?

A slice of tea and a cup of cake.

Why are horses scared of umbrellas?

Because of Mary Poppins and the freaky animated merry go round!

What time will my parcel arrive tomorrow?

It arrived three days ago and is located in the coal bunker. In five days it will magically appear on your doorstep.

Why is the grass so long after I just cut it?

It’s protesting that you just cut, no colour and blow dry
What should I drink tonight with dinner?

Polyjuice potion with hair of Trump

Will it stay sunny for the rest of the day?

No (as I’ve just resealed a window). Expect 10 foot snow drifts by 3pm.

Do I need steel toe caps tomorrow?

Yes you always need steel toe caps at the supermarket especially on Saturdays.

Why am I too cold with the fan on but when I turn it off I'm too hot?

No I would buy some ballet pointe shoes instead , what shall we have for tea ?

You need to replace the electric fan with a lace one, and with your Earl Gray tea have cucumber sandwiches in the ladylike breeze

What's responsible for the new rotting smell in the garden?

The dead rotting rat that was behind my bin a few days ago Dh ,said he threw it away but he must have thrown it in your Garden instead😳, ,Do you think streaked hair for men will make a come back?

Yes, of course. My Dad looked very cool with the big holey condom on his head whilst the hairdresser hacked at his scalp with a crochet needle and he was the epitome of fashionable!

What should I have for dinner?

Einstein and Marilyn Monroe are popular choices.

How can I make the toy net stick to the bath tiles?

A chocolate Gateux and cream ,will man ever walk on Mars ?

Throw cooked pasta at the wall tiles then the throw the net at the cooked pasta. It will stick forever.

Why is it not over till the fat lady sings?

No because Mars are too small, a small man might be able to balance on a giant Toblerone.

Why is not over till the fat lady sings?

"Why is not over till the fat lady sings?"

Her singing opens a rift in the space/time continuum and we all get sucked in.

Where are my lost (single) socks that I carefully washed with thwir partners?