Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only.

[bearlyactive]

For example:

Q: "How do you cook an egg?"
A: "Fry it on the bonnet of your car, especially in this heat."

My question to you is...
Why do storks raise one leg?

It's because you dreamt last night that you were back in 6th form & you hadn't done your A Level Chemistry homework & hadn't revised for the exam on Friday. Even though you didn't even do A Level Chemistry.
Plus you're hungry!

What's the greatest/best book ever written?

Fifty shades of grey ,I'm thirsty. Shall I have a drink?

No, you should always try eating first in case it's hunger.

Is my mum friend a smug, competitive, condescending bitch?

No she's a beautiful and compassionate friend and you are overcome with jealousy about her ,will Dh remove the dead rat that I have spotted behind the rubbish bin ?( just outside my Garden)

Yes, he will. He'll then use the carcass to prepared two tender steaks which he'll saute and serve with a redcurrant jus, dauphinoise potatoes, steamed julienne carrots and mangetout.

Why does cutting ivy make me itch?

It's the colour that makes you itch, not the ivy

What can I do to stop the constant high pitched whining in my ears

Use cotton wool.

Why is the sky blue?

Because it’s not pink.

Why are my cats not bothered by thunder.

Because cats can only hear high-pitched noises.

What happens if you wear trainers without socks?

Your feel will smell divine ,how will the world end?

Demolished by Vogons to create an inter-galaxy highway.

When will I get a new project?

When the Gods of Projects feel the time is right ,what time will I wake up in the morning?

You'll wake when the OP makes us all pancakes.

Why is dieting rubbish?

(Now I want a pancake 😩)

Because going for a 20 mile run every morning is better.

Which sort of pancakes are best - 'trad' pancake day ones, crepes, American-style or buckwheat?

Country pancakes

Run a mile or jump a stile?

Neither ,bounce for 200 metres on a space hopper ,why is rain wet?

Because it has salt in it.

Where's wally?

Sat on my sofa with the dog ,why does my washing machine lie to me about how many minutes are left?

Because the Russians are in it.

Why is the kitchen always such a tip?

Because my kids are there emptying your cupboards. and the fridge and throwing things on the floor ,who decided the seasons?

Vivaldi's mother

Why didn't my DMum let be watch Tiswas?

Because it was on itv - which is sooooo common darling!!

Who turn the lights off outside? It was daylight when I fell asleep..

Because she had some roller boots to swap.

Why do insects bite me?