Good-looking people who don't know they're good-looking

[EoinMcLovesCakeJumper]

Do they really not know? I know a friend of a friend who is absolutely stunning - tall, slim, perfect complexion, naturally curly waist-length hair etc. Men go gaga over her, but she always seems to be surprised when it's pointed out.

I just don't understand how someone can be that oblivious. We live in such a looks-orientated world, and people who don't meet the approved standard are certainly told about it often enough. I tend to think that everyone has a good idea of where they stand, and if they say otherwise it's because they think it would be seen as boasting or a lack of humility.

So does anyone know someone who appears to be genuinely unaware that they're gorgeous? I'm sure I've seen a few examples on threads of "my painfully handsome DH who looks like a long-lost Hemsworth brother thinks that all the women throwing themselves at him are just being friendly and he's bemused when I point out that they're coming on to him". Are they for real?

Am I the only one dying of curiosity wanting to know what all these posters look like?

I definitely do think it is possible for exceptionally good looking women not to know. There are so many things that can impact a child/ teen in their formative years, in how they regard their own body.

Kids can be pretty cruel to each other when young. If you don't quite fit in at school and people are sniggering every day that you're weird and ugly - you will come to think it may be true, even if part of you doubts it and can't see what is so strikingly horrible about you.

Lots of teens go through a really awkward stage too, and get accustomed to being ignored by their peers. By the time the come into their own on the looks front, the ingrained beliefs about their attractiveness will be the status quo.

That's even leaving out the whole can of worms of unfortunate young people living in families who are very critical of their entire personhood, looks included.

I’m old now and ok looking for my age but I was truly beautiful from age 18 to about 30 only I didn’t realise it. I was a very plain teenager with bad hair, acne, coke bottle glasses and ugly frumpy clothes. I was hugely insecure about my appearance and didn’t realise how I blossomed after puberty. It’s only now looking at photos I can see it. One of my DDs now looks like I did back then, truly stunning, but she certainly doesn’t see it.

Oddly enough, given how lovely looking I was I didn’t get much male attention. My BFF was much less physically attractive than me but was much more sought after. I think her inner confidence shone out and made her more appealing.

It's a case of being humble/downplaying it because other women can be very hostile towards you. People know when they're gorgeous.

@Valambtine

You know I have always considered myself fat and average looking. My sister was "the pretty one". Looking back at photos of myself in my early 20s, I was nowhere near as fat as I thought I was and I look pretty. I was quite lovely really, but as no one in my family ever said I think I grew up thinking I wasn't attractive. I feel bad for that young woman I was, who had no idea.

I don't think this is uncommon.

Exactly, @Valambtine

When I look at pics of me in my early / mid 20's I can now see i was slim and pretty. At the time I thought I was fat and also ugly. So sad.
I have known some stunningly beautiful (imo) people. All felt similar.

But ALL young people are beautiful I guess.

I’m probably one of those people.

Everyone compliments me frequently, I say thanks but it doesn’t really mean anything to me. I regularly get stopped and told how good looking I am by strangers (men & women). Even today, a man approached me to say I was beautiful. He had drove past me minutes before, parked down the road and then jogged back up to me to say that (which I though was cute). I get lots of likes on social media and always amass lots of followers.

I don’t feel beautiful though. I was an ugly duckling growing up and still remember all the nasty comments. Half of the time, I can’t imagine being a sexual being as I still see ugly me when I look in the mirror then sometimes wonder how the f anyone would find me attractive

Also my friends are family are ridiculously stunning, so in comparison to them I’m nothing special, I just see my looks as “normal”

It's hot even downplaying it to avoid hostility, it happens any way. All it take is a man to pay you attention, and other women hate you. And there is no way to dress down, or anything to avoid it. Ive tried all of that. If a woman hates me on sight, i immediately know. It then, I probably wouldn't want to befriend someone like that anyway

And even if someone is kind to me, or helps me, people will assume it's because of how I look, not the obvious thing, that I'm generally a nice person and treat others well. So people that can get past what I look like, actually like me

I think there are even differences with models though. I think as well as their face, it’s their frame that’s equally important.

And of course some are truly stunning in a classically beautiful way, but others aren’t. Some look striking and quite extraordinary with amazing bone structure and the like but I don’t think men would find them ‘hot’ for example.

Obviously the VS are the epitome of perfection and absolutely stunning insanely beautiful.

I don’t agree that other women hate you

Women always notice attractive womenand might be wary if they are insecure but if you are nice they don’t hate you why would they not all women are consumed with jealousy and hatred for other women it’s such a damaging idea that so many believe

I grew up being told women won’t like me as women don’t like pretty/beautiful women and they had not liked my mother (very attractive) thankfully I got over myself (I was early 20’s) and realised this is absolutely bollocks and so glad I did but if you think women don’t like you because of your looks well how self absorbed and conceited is that

This sounds horribly vain.

I have never liked the way I look. Hated photos, still do. People told me I was pretty, even beautiful and I immediately wondered what they were after.

I look back at photos of 25 year old me now and recognise that they may have had a point. I’m in my late 50s now and still don’t like the way I look, at all. No idea why. Happy life, lovely husband of many decades and fabulous kids. Just don’t like what I see in the mirror, at all 🤷‍♀️
Though thankfully I don’t really care anymore.

This is so awful of me but I'm always pleasantly surprised when a really beautiful person is a really nice person.
I think I feel defensive (probably because I feel inferior) and expect to dislike the person.....and then realise they are just like anyone else...but more attractive!

Some people just aren’t that preoccupied with their looks and it comes as a surprise to them that others are.

Absentminded and Hairthrowaway

Peers at high school called me ugly on a regular basis. I have no photographs from those five years but looking back I was a late developer, not highly fashionable (low income family) and socially awkward.

I have since had many positive comments about my looks over the years from men and women. However I cannot quite accept them although I know I have a pleasant face.

The taunting from almost 30 years ago is still heavily ingrained. I try to appear confident and am told I am assertive particularly at work, however there is always self-doubt at the back of my mind.

I am a knackered, middle aged hag now, but when I look back at old photos of me from 30 years ago, I am struck by how attractive I really was. Even more so because I was so shy and quiet, had no self confidence at all, and genuinely believed I was fat and ugly.

I now know the true meaning of fat and ugly😳

It's all in the eye of the beholder.

Oh well. 🙄