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Good-looking people who don't know they're good-looking

189 replies

EoinMcLovesCakeJumper · 01/08/2020 10:30

Do they really not know? I know a friend of a friend who is absolutely stunning - tall, slim, perfect complexion, naturally curly waist-length hair etc. Men go gaga over her, but she always seems to be surprised when it's pointed out.

I just don't understand how someone can be that oblivious. We live in such a looks-orientated world, and people who don't meet the approved standard are certainly told about it often enough. I tend to think that everyone has a good idea of where they stand, and if they say otherwise it's because they think it would be seen as boasting or a lack of humility.

So does anyone know someone who appears to be genuinely unaware that they're gorgeous? I'm sure I've seen a few examples on threads of "my painfully handsome DH who looks like a long-lost Hemsworth brother thinks that all the women throwing themselves at him are just being friendly and he's bemused when I point out that they're coming on to him". Are they for real?

OP posts:
anonm · 02/08/2020 08:47

and never had an issue making friends.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 02/08/2020 08:50

Fascinating thread. Firstly, what is attractive/pretty is incredibly subjective.

I grew up with parents who put me down a lot, I remember being in a restaurant in Italy with them when I was about 16. An Italian man came over to our table and said to my parents how lucky they were to have such a beautiful daughter. My father instantly said no she isn't, please go away. I felt so embarrassed. That comment sums up how they were 😕

If your own parents can't celebrate you in every way, it leaves lasting scars.

I think I'm ordinary at best, and don't believe it when people tell me otherwise. My self esteem regarding my appearance is in the gutter.

Newjez · 02/08/2020 08:55

@Wolfgirrl

Jose Mourinho just reminds me of a silver haired Rowan Atkinson. Not attractive at all.

My DP looks like a less horsey version of a younger Hugh Grant. Not everyone's cup of tea, but definitely mine Smile

Rowan Atkinson looks like a silver haired Rowan Atkinson nowadays. Time has moved on. Actually, I think he looks better for it.
anonm · 02/08/2020 09:12

Didn't Facebook say to workers if you work remotely, pay will be linked to your location? San Fran is ridiculous though, a family member was renting an $11,000 home (work was paying). The home was pretty average!

anonm · 02/08/2020 09:12

wrong thread!

dayswithaY · 02/08/2020 09:32

Attractive women quickly learn not to mention their attractiveness and, if anything, play it down. Other women can be very hostile and unfriendly before they even get to know a beautiful or good looking woman, they judge them on sight due to jealousy and their own insecurities. Sad, but true.

Ghostlyglow · 02/08/2020 09:53

They know they're good looking. Just like I know I am ugly.

Ratonastick · 02/08/2020 10:14

I work with a woman who is not beautiful or stunning but she is incredibly attractive. Objectively, she has amazing intense blue eyes and clearly takes time and trouble with her appearance, wardrobe, etc but has “normal” looks. But she has this incredible presence and is an amazing person. She’s fiercely intelligent and has qualifications coming out of her ears, high flyer, has great empathy, will go before the guns for her team, actively encourages and develops young talent, everything you want in a boss. She also talks about her warm and loving family, lots of good friends, etc. She is clearly loved and is loving as a person.

I can’t explain it but she is probably the most attractive woman I have ever met, but not beautiful at all. Different things I guess.

anonm · 02/08/2020 10:48

@Ratonastick she sounds charismatic

peaceanddove · 02/08/2020 10:54

I grew up with a Mum who never once complemented me on my appearance. She was lovely in lots of other ways, but couldn't bring herself to give praise, ever. Even on our wedding day she couldn't tell me I looked nice. It didn't help either that my long term boyfriend before DH was very good looking, he looked like the love child of Nick Kamen and a young Johnny Depp. Girls would trample over me to get to him, so I assumed I was punching well above my weight. Consequently, it always, genuinely, came as a shock when I got chatted up, which was often. Even when local clubs asked me to do promotional work for them, I just put it down to me being outgoing and chatty. My brothers' friends would inexplicably want to help me with my car, give me lifts, help me move into student accommodation, suggest days out together 'as friends'. I was so dim, I just thought they were being helpful. I had never flirted in my life, wouldn't even know how, so never recognised if I was being flirted with.

It was DH who firstly made me feel pretty. He didn't gush about my looks, like other blokes had (I just thought they were flannelling me) he sort of acknowledged me being pretty as a given, but was much more attracted to who I was, which was much more flattering. Ironically, now I'm middle aged and looks fading, I feel more beautiful than I ever felt in my teens or early twenties, and it's all because of DH.

Looking back at photos I was seriously pretty, but I know I never once felt pretty.

ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 02/08/2020 14:36

@anonm

I am fairly good looking, I don't consider it a burden. I think people are nicer to me & trust me more.
That’s because your ‘fairly good looking’ and not beautiful or truly stunning, you are probably pretty but unthreatening, you won’t intimidate men or women so really you have hit the jackpot, your type of looks make life easy.
funnyonion1 · 02/08/2020 14:43

I don't know how people cannot know they're good looking!

I'm attractive, I'm not girl-next-door pretty, but I'm attractive. I get chatted up all the time, since I was about 14 (I'm early 30s now), I've always dated good looking men etc. and have had plenty of men and women tell me I'm good looking. I take after my dad who was very handsome (but stupid!).

I just don't believe people who are good looking go through life without knowing it, unless they DO know it and are being very very humble.

anonm · 02/08/2020 17:13

@ZaraCarmichaelshighheels you could be right. I used to model for Models One (they were a legit proper agency but don't even know if they still exist). I wasn't particularly successful (never did Vogue). It was the 90s I always told I was too healthy looking (too tanned & chubby I think) 🤣🤣

ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 02/08/2020 17:31

That’s interesting Anon not sure if they still exist but I remember them from back in the day, I had an interview with Select (not sure if they still exist either) they didn’t sign me though said I was “ beautiful but too commercial” for their agency, guess my looks were just not avant- garde enough!

blosstree · 02/08/2020 22:53

I don't think it's always a case of good-looking people not knowing they are good-looking - when people say 'oh she's so beautiful but she doesn't even know it' it always seems to be about someone who is naturally attractive and doesn't seem to put lots of effort in. So, a woman who doesn't wear much makeup, or wear expensive clothes, or get her eyebrows done but still looks very attractive.

I've never really felt like it actually meant that they aren't aware, more that they just don't think about it very much

StormBaby · 02/08/2020 22:59

My DH looks like 6ft 3 version of Kit Harrington, yet he is shy and has quite low self esteem and is completely clueless to other women throwing themselves at him. He thinks he’s punching above his weight with me(he’s definitely not).

Ffsseriously · 03/08/2020 12:54

I find it interesting that all the people saying i never realised i was good looking seem to have hoarded all the compliments they have ever been given. And whilst saying im not good looking gave given enough 'evidence' to prove they are Grin

chuffedasbuttons · 03/08/2020 13:36

@anonm
@ZaraCarmichaelshighheels

Select and Models 1 still exist. I worked in a related industry. Models traipsing past my desk was pretty constant. Models are not the sort of pretty we are talking about. Very rarely. They are quirky. They are very thin. Less so male models - they can be drop dead hotties.

It’s actually a case of being photogenic to be a model. Trends have continued to lead toward more quirk.

Beauty is linked to symmetry. Kate Moss is said to have one of the most symmetrical faces of all time and the symmetry maths is long lost Greek mythology.

This was a few years ago now. www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/kate-moss-perfect-face-according-18041571.amp

Ffsseriously · 03/08/2020 14:15

@chuffedasbuttons case in point i find kate moss meh it really is in the eyes of the beholder.

peaceanddove · 03/08/2020 17:08

[quote chuffedasbuttons]@anonm
@ZaraCarmichaelshighheels

Select and Models 1 still exist. I worked in a related industry. Models traipsing past my desk was pretty constant. Models are not the sort of pretty we are talking about. Very rarely. They are quirky. They are very thin. Less so male models - they can be drop dead hotties.

It’s actually a case of being photogenic to be a model. Trends have continued to lead toward more quirk.

Beauty is linked to symmetry. Kate Moss is said to have one of the most symmetrical faces of all time and the symmetry maths is long lost Greek mythology.

This was a few years ago now. www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/kate-moss-perfect-face-according-18041571.amp[/quote]
DD's friend has just signed with Models One, I think it's called? She's not conventionally pretty at all, but is very tall and very slender. She has a distinct face, rather than a pretty one IYKWIM?

Lurkingforawhile · 03/08/2020 17:10

There's definitely an element of subjectivity. Sometimes I'll see someone who I think is stunning (man or woman) and my OH can't see it at all. I guess we all need to find different people attractive evolution wise!

SurreyHillsGirl · 03/08/2020 17:54

I have always been told I am good looking but I play it down and pretend that I'm a little surprised when I get comments. No one likes a big headed knobber. My DH is v good looking and he plays it down too although he admits to me that he knows he is handsome.

Modesty is a really good trait to have (not that this post is modest Grin)

roundandsideways · 03/08/2020 18:06

I just get embarrassed if anyone says anything. I never feel the need to judge people on what they look like. Everyone has a beautiful quality/characteristic. I can be attracted to someone just based on a crinkly smile, a shared sense of humour, kindness...

roundandsideways · 03/08/2020 18:07

Right now I have a massive crush on someone just because of his smile, kindness, and humour. I had a phone chat with him a couple of days ago, and now can't stop thinking about him again. Yet my friend thinks he's not good looking at all.

anonm · 03/08/2020 18:44

@ZaraCarmichaelshighheels commercial can pay well but tbh I was crap in general at standing still, tolerating cold etc.

@chuffedasbuttons interesting they are still about. I thought modelling was based on insta followers this days. I was very thin but naturally filled out over time. Tbh I think I stand out more in photos then real life if that makes sense. Ive met Kate Moss, she's striking & a brilliant model.