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The joy has been sucked out of everything

570 replies

supadoopa · 24/07/2020 22:36

Let me start by saying I’m in Scotland so this isn’t about masks per se, but about the whole silly dance we are being made to do in order to go about our lives at the moment.

I went to a shopping centre today and won't be back.

It’s the first time I’ve worn a mask for any longer than a quick run into the local coop. I was probably in the centre for an hour and a half but there was sweat pouring down my neck. I felt suffocated and silenced. Hated it.

My baby looked at me like I was a monster and my toddler couldn’t hear me when I talked.

But it wasn’t just masks that were the issue. There was a ludicrous one way system, which makes absolutely no sense to me if we are wearing masks and social distancing. Then every shop had a makeshift entry and exit and their own one way system which no one was observing.

At every turn I was being monitored by security guards, eyeballing me in anticipation of a wrongdoing, ready to pounce.

Almost every shop had a guard on duty forcing you to rub gel on your hands and that of my child before entering.

There were queues everywhere. All but one set of toilets shut, so queue for that too, and toilets themselves as dirty as ever because so many people using the same ones and no cleaning.

Inexplicably in most shops all but one set of tills were shut, again forcing people to congregate in long queues.

All the restaurants were again inexplicably closed apart from, yep, McDonalds and Costa. Both under small enclaves at the back of the centre. But in them you are allowed to take your mask off and eat off a table more or less. But in the main, high roofed wide open walkways of the centre, the mask must go back on.

The shops had little stock.

When I dared approach an M&S assistant to ask for a size (with a visor on like all the rest of the assistants at an angle that perfectly channels their exhalations directly at the person they’re talking too) I was barked at as if I was a naughty schoolgirl to the extent that I put the item back on the rack and walked out without buying anything.

Does anyone else think this is all utterly ludicrous?

Shops will not survive this.

We are all adults with our own minds and perfectly able to manage our selves. Why make masks mandatory if we then have to do all this makeshift posturing to appear to be avoiding each other when really we are being herded closer together.

As someone who you might consider a “hobby shopper” as in it’s one of my pastimes (and I’m not interested in any opinions about having a better hobby, if there weren’t millions like me there wouldn’t be any shops at all). I’m someone who will browse and buy, will pick up bits I don’t really need but just want. I will spend my money happily- if the experience gives me pleasure.

But now I think it’s going to be online for me. I won’t be back at the shopping centre. I won’t be visiting our city centre either as it’s just the same.

OP posts:
BrightYellowDaffodil · 26/07/2020 15:09

@MadameButterface It was definitely aggressive - for Superdrug the woman tried to tell me I wouldn’t be allowed in if I didn’t use their sanitiser as well as my own and she was really bloody rude. I couldn’t really care less if someone was a bit short but their attitude, frankly, was unacceptable. And it’s not the first time I’ve encountered this - my point is that if shops make an already difficult situation (masks etc) worse then they can’t be surprised if people reduce or stop the amount of times they go. That’s not ‘online bitching’ it’s recounting an experience as part of a discussion about why people are changing their behaviours.

IceCreamSummer20 · 26/07/2020 16:26

@ReturnofSaturn

Jeremy

We will get all that gear but son wont even wear his hood up when it's raining Angry

He really needs to be around children more with the classes etc as he is so far behind developmentally. He's two and a half and non verbal too. Still waiting to see a paediatrician , we have been waiting almost a year.

We are paying to put him in nursery two mornings a week now, we can't really afford it but he needs it.

See the Hanen books online and courses they are excellent to help your child speak. It’s about responding and waiting, simplifying your language to one word, doing loads of non verbal play. Also ‘fill ins’ like going 1, 2.., 3! And anticipating their response.
IceCreamSummer20 · 26/07/2020 16:28

@MadameButterface Most of them earn below living wage. Try not to be a cunt about it. And the gleeful ‘well they’ll be sorry when they all lose their jobs’ is a bit revolting too. sadly I do agree. Some awful comments in this thread n

AgentCooper · 26/07/2020 17:15

@ReturnofSaturn

The one thing I'm personally dreading is a whole long autumn and winter with no toddler groups, playgroups or play centres Sad

One of our local play centre has said they are not even due to be reviewed next until November.

So I assume that means the same with playgroups and toddler groups etc.

It probably won't be a big deal to those will less rambunctious toddlers who only go to these things occasionally anyway.

But my son has behavioural issues and these things were a lifesaver for me.
I'm already dreading the prospect of winter and all the days where we won't even be able to get out to the park.
He's a complete nightmare in the house Sad

@ReturnofSaturn I feel exactly the same Sad my DS will be 3 in October and is very full on. We walk for 2 hours a day just now.

There has been discussion on my toddler group WhatsApp about opening up again with the schools. I desperately hope so.

simonisnotme · 26/07/2020 18:01

talking of masks, in lidl yesterday there was a guy in a full face welding mask i dont think he could see an awful lot Grin

Youngatheart00 · 27/07/2020 13:52

Have returned to work after a week on holiday last week. Returning to work post hol on a wfh basis absolutely sucks. In normal times, within half an hour I’d feel back in to the swing of things, energy levels up from the buzz of the office and seeing colleagues. Today I just feel really, really flat. 😞 scrolling through emails, several zoom meetings but no energy and no one to chat with or catch up with more informally over coffee etc. I hate this new working life.

Deathraystare · 27/07/2020 14:10

I know what you mean. I used to love going into Westfeld (White City) but tried to get into Waitrose and there was a 'pen' herding system and I felt all the joy sucked out.

AgentCooper · 27/07/2020 18:05

I was in Silverburn shopping centre in Glasgow today and saw a coat I liked in the sale. I thought perhaps just trying it on over my clothes in front of a mirror would be ok but when I asked they said no. So I left it because I just couldn’t be arsed. I do feel for shop assistants, they must be losing a lot of sales right now.

Reachfortheasteroid · 30/07/2020 07:35

Cos no clothes ever picked up any germs? Can’t think why they might’ve said noHmm

SamSeabornforPresident · 30/07/2020 08:03

I was the same, saw a nice blazer but would've needed to try it on, and there were some nice dresses but not worth the hassle of buying then returning. I don't see why they can't just open every second cubicle in fitting rooms. People are touching stuff anyway.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 30/07/2020 08:11

We are having to order 3 pairs of shoes and 3 bags and 3 dresses as very tall DD fits completely different sizes in completely different places.

It’s going to be a fucking ball ache returning so much but it would also be a fucking ball ache navigating John Lewis/M&S right now two weeks before the schools go back in never mind in the thick of pen herding systems and other bollocks.

Remmy123 · 30/07/2020 08:13

I wear a thin scarf up over my face and nose when I am near people in a shop.. if I am in an aisle/area on my own I briefly take it down - works well!!

A mask made me feel very panicked

Mumoblue · 30/07/2020 08:16

Of course staff don't want you there.
People in customer facing roles already have a shitty job and now they're at increased risk of a bloody pandemic, I'd forgive them for not falling to their knees in gratitude that you're choosing to shop there.
Of course in the long run they want to have customers to get paid, but I'm pretty sure the pandemic is big in their mind at the moment, on top of being bitched at by people who's attitude is "Well I wont die from it."

Oblomov20 · 30/07/2020 08:30

Agree. Dh and I went shopping for the first time this week. Curry's to get a small coffee machine and M&S and Debenhams to get some bigger shorts for me!

The whole thing was unpleasant and miserable. And the customer service in all 3 shops was appalling. We nearly left curry's twice, once before we even got in, and once whilst waiting to be served. We only got the coffee machine because I insisted DH that we stay.

Like 0P Dh said I don't think I'm going to bother doing that anymore. I'm just going to order online because the whole thing is just utterly miserable. and we agreed.

Newgirls · 30/07/2020 08:37

Shops are handling it all so differently. One shop had a sign saying welcome back! Others are covered in yellow signs shouting ‘masks’ ‘2 metres apart’ etc. Retail is meant to entice you in not shout at you. We know we have to wear masks so why aggressive signs everywhere?

heartsonacake · 30/07/2020 08:41

We know we have to wear masks so why aggressive signs everywhere?

Newgirls Because people think they can get away without wearing one if the signs aren’t there.

Trust me, the signs are needed. Just because people “know” something doesn’t mean they’ll follow it.

Shops are happy to have your custom but at the same time they need to keep their staff safe.

AgentCooper · 30/07/2020 09:56

@SamSeabornforPresident

I was the same, saw a nice blazer but would've needed to try it on, and there were some nice dresses but not worth the hassle of buying then returning. I don't see why they can't just open every second cubicle in fitting rooms. People are touching stuff anyway.
@SamSeabornforPresident that’s what I was thinking. It’s not like it would be touching my sweaty bare armpits. Just my hands, and umpteen other people’s hands throughout the day.
BogRollBOGOF · 30/07/2020 10:05

@Newgirls

Shops are handling it all so differently. One shop had a sign saying welcome back! Others are covered in yellow signs shouting ‘masks’ ‘2 metres apart’ etc. Retail is meant to entice you in not shout at you. We know we have to wear masks so why aggressive signs everywhere?
Ultimately people will vote with their feet and go where they are made welcome.

Sensible businesses are adaptable and tend to see with experience what they can streamline, not solve the whole problem by scaring all their custom away.

SamSeabornforPresident · 30/07/2020 22:11

@Mumoblue

Of course staff don't want you there. People in customer facing roles already have a shitty job and now they're at increased risk of a bloody pandemic, I'd forgive them for not falling to their knees in gratitude that you're choosing to shop there. Of course in the long run they want to have customers to get paid, but I'm pretty sure the pandemic is big in their mind at the moment, on top of being bitched at by people who's attitude is "Well I wont die from it."
I don't think anyone expects them to fall to their knees in gratitude. However, their job is to be polite and pleasant. I'm a little anxious about going back to work but will be pleasant and supportive when I'm there because it's my job.

And I would say the vast majority of staff I have encountered have been lovely, despite (in some cases) extreme provocation.

MadisonAvenue · 04/08/2020 12:00

I’ve just been told off in my local Poundbakery. I decided to go there as I wanted to avoid supermarkets and thought I should support the high street anyway.
It’s a tiny shop and the only one other person in there was being served so I picked up what I wanted and stood to the side for her to finish and move away from the counter.
The man who was serving shouted “use the one way system,” he was really abrupt and the lady he was serving joined in. In error I’d walked into the shop through the exit, although the shop has an open front without doors but there were no clear markings from outside. As there was no one else in there, the lady could’ve walked out the other way.
I just put back what I was going to buy and walked out. Had it been pointed out to me nicely I’d have done what was asked and carried on with my purchase.

If I’d used the one way system I’d have had to wait for the lady to be served so that I could walk past the counter to pick the items I wanted from the shelving near to the exit side, walk out of the shop to get around the display baskets in the middle and then back in again to get back to the counter.

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