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The joy has been sucked out of everything

570 replies

supadoopa · 24/07/2020 22:36

Let me start by saying I’m in Scotland so this isn’t about masks per se, but about the whole silly dance we are being made to do in order to go about our lives at the moment.

I went to a shopping centre today and won't be back.

It’s the first time I’ve worn a mask for any longer than a quick run into the local coop. I was probably in the centre for an hour and a half but there was sweat pouring down my neck. I felt suffocated and silenced. Hated it.

My baby looked at me like I was a monster and my toddler couldn’t hear me when I talked.

But it wasn’t just masks that were the issue. There was a ludicrous one way system, which makes absolutely no sense to me if we are wearing masks and social distancing. Then every shop had a makeshift entry and exit and their own one way system which no one was observing.

At every turn I was being monitored by security guards, eyeballing me in anticipation of a wrongdoing, ready to pounce.

Almost every shop had a guard on duty forcing you to rub gel on your hands and that of my child before entering.

There were queues everywhere. All but one set of toilets shut, so queue for that too, and toilets themselves as dirty as ever because so many people using the same ones and no cleaning.

Inexplicably in most shops all but one set of tills were shut, again forcing people to congregate in long queues.

All the restaurants were again inexplicably closed apart from, yep, McDonalds and Costa. Both under small enclaves at the back of the centre. But in them you are allowed to take your mask off and eat off a table more or less. But in the main, high roofed wide open walkways of the centre, the mask must go back on.

The shops had little stock.

When I dared approach an M&S assistant to ask for a size (with a visor on like all the rest of the assistants at an angle that perfectly channels their exhalations directly at the person they’re talking too) I was barked at as if I was a naughty schoolgirl to the extent that I put the item back on the rack and walked out without buying anything.

Does anyone else think this is all utterly ludicrous?

Shops will not survive this.

We are all adults with our own minds and perfectly able to manage our selves. Why make masks mandatory if we then have to do all this makeshift posturing to appear to be avoiding each other when really we are being herded closer together.

As someone who you might consider a “hobby shopper” as in it’s one of my pastimes (and I’m not interested in any opinions about having a better hobby, if there weren’t millions like me there wouldn’t be any shops at all). I’m someone who will browse and buy, will pick up bits I don’t really need but just want. I will spend my money happily- if the experience gives me pleasure.

But now I think it’s going to be online for me. I won’t be back at the shopping centre. I won’t be visiting our city centre either as it’s just the same.

OP posts:
Ilovegreentomatoes · 25/07/2020 15:11

I guess its weighing up the pros and cons.Yes its protecting us from a virus but what will be the fall out from this?

Alloverthegrapevine · 25/07/2020 15:11

I think that might be tourist areas IntermittentParps, rather than down south.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 25/07/2020 15:12

I think the current restrictions will affect a lot of people's mental health.If you are single and your only communication was going out to the shops to spk to ppl how are you going to feel now.

I can tell you exactly how someone who fits that category feels - isolated and more lonely than I have done even during the worst of lockdown. To see people with masks on is awful - just a lot of blank faces with virtually no ability to communicate via facial expression, like something out of a dystopian novel - but even worse is struggling to wear a mask which means I’m severely cutting back the amount I go to places where masks are required. Mentally I feel like I’ve shut myself away, plus on the times when I go somewhere without a mask I’m worried about the reaction this may cause or whether I’ll get stopped from going into places.

Mental health seems to be being thrown under the bus here, let alone the shops and restaurants which will suffer if people avoid the joyless experience they find there.

ThatsHowWeRowl · 25/07/2020 15:13

[quote Ilovegreentomatoes]@ThatsHowWeRowl you should feel embarrassed for dismissing the current situation we are in.Not terrible enough for you?[/quote]
I am saying that comparing having to wear face masks in the shops (I mean 'muzzles' - really?!) is not comparable to living in fear that at any moment you may be rounded up and sent to your death in a concentration camp.

You're entitled to have a moan if you must, but to compare it to living in a Nazi dictatorship is just offensive to be honest. As I said, get a grip.

Longwhiskers14 · 25/07/2020 15:15

ThatsHowWeRowl Well said. The comparison is, frankly, sickening.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 25/07/2020 15:17

How would you all cope if something actually terrible happened to you? Embarrassing.....

Something terrible did happen to me. I was diagnosed with PTSD off the back of it. I then rebuilt my life but I can't do it again, I don't have the strength or desire.

Right now, I can't see a single glimmer of hope in the darkness. We've tried a few day trips for the kids but it was awful. All the "fun" elements have been removed and everyone seems so bad tempered. We're also in Scotland and dh (who is doing all the shopping) is constantly complaining about the lack of social distancing since masks became mandatory. We went to the Highland Wildlife park last weekend and he took the kids into the shop. Gave strict instructions, don't touch, stay close, put 5 year old ds in a mask which he hates (my fault but he witnessed my panic attack when I was trying to speak to a guy in one) and he came out really pissed off because the family in front weren't wearing masks, letting the kids touch everything, no social distancing so of course ds wanted to know why he had to/couldn't touch etc. Then I took ds into the ladies and a woman complained when we came out even though I needed to so she would have still had to wait. Just lots of little things which all added up to a really negative experience.

tinkerbellla · 25/07/2020 15:18

I agree. I used to love shopping but went today and it was miserable! Not so much the mask wearing, more the ridiculous queues and other points you mentioned in your OP. Only opening one till is just bizarre as there was then a line out of the door with lots of people dwelling in one space.

Downwardfacingdoggy · 25/07/2020 15:19

@OLGADEEPOLGA could - but not gonnaGrin

Ilovegreentomatoes · 25/07/2020 15:19

My comment was in no way meant to compare holocaust victims so if it came across that way my error.

LindainLockdown · 25/07/2020 15:20

It is crap, I was in my local small city last Saturday, it was busy and there was a more normal atmosphere, this is also a tourist destination so during full lockdown it really felt like a ghost town, horrible. I would say 80% of people were not wearing masks, including me - shoot me.

I don't know what is like today as I'm no longer going shopping, from now on it's just going to be a supermarket visit conducted as swiftly as possible once a week. After experimenting I find the disposable masks are the ones I can cope with best which are awful for the environment, so that is shit too.

I do hope some of my favourite shops don't go under so I am still ordering online from the likes of John Lewis.

I have just looked up the death rate for Covid in my ward, it is 12 deaths or 0.0014%, it is fucking ridiculous.

ThatsHowWeRowl · 25/07/2020 15:20

Threads like these always make me feel like MN is some sort of parallel universe. In real life, most people I know are taking precautions and being sensible, but largely starting to get back to a bit of normality. Gyms are opening, hairdressers, restaurants, shops, parks for the kids etc. Yes its different but we are not all still locked up in our homes.

Some of the posts on this thread are just ridiculous.

GoldenOmber · 25/07/2020 15:23

Mental health seems to be being thrown under the bus here, let alone the shops and restaurants which will suffer if people avoid the joyless experience they find there.

I do agree mental health is going to be one of the biggest impacts of this, but I'm not sure the alternative is any better. Shops and restaurants and everything open as normal for another month or two, then back into another full on lockdown with hundreds of deaths a day? Don't see that being great for the nation's mental health either.

It's just shit all round really. I prefer it to lockdown - I'll take 'shops but with masks' over 'no shops at all and stay in your house' - but it's hardly fun times. Will be glad once we can all get back to normal.

IntermittentParps · 25/07/2020 15:24

Yes its protecting us from a virus but what will be the fall out from this

I tend to think of it the other way round. Yes, there are some short-term inconveniences/problems, but it's protecting us all from a potentially catastrophic virus.

Alloverthegrapevine, I'm not sure what you mean, sorry. (not being snitty; genuine question as my comprehension is failing me!)

ThatsHowWeRowl, I agree.

SunnyDeeeee · 25/07/2020 15:29

I have never treated shopping as a leisure experience, I think that might be the difference - other than food and medicine, I've had no reason to set foot into a shop for about 5 years and from reading this thread I'm not missing anything!

Ilovegreentomatoes · 25/07/2020 15:29

I find it sickening the way mental health is ignored. The "im alright so you should be" camp out in full force.

bibbitybobbitycats · 25/07/2020 15:30

@ThatsHowWeRowl

Threads like these always make me feel like MN is some sort of parallel universe. In real life, most people I know are taking precautions and being sensible, but largely starting to get back to a bit of normality. Gyms are opening, hairdressers, restaurants, shops, parks for the kids etc. Yes its different but we are not all still locked up in our homes.

Some of the posts on this thread are just ridiculous.

But it is still so totally unlike "normal" life. It's not just the masks etc, but the fact that the virus is causing so much suffering - not only in terms of death, illness and long term health problems, but the job losses etc as I said earlier. It's difficult to feel positive all the time when our lives are being lived out against that backdrop. Maybe some people are better than others at living in their own bubble and tuning out the shitstorm that surrounds us.
Ilovegreentomatoes · 25/07/2020 15:34

Oh and I guess the disabled and deaf who will now find their lives even more harder than before can just get on with it as well.

Longwhiskers14 · 25/07/2020 15:35

llIlovegreentomatoes I don't think anyone would dispute that some people are really struggling in lockdown and need additional support and enormous understanding. But would it help those people if the Govt threw caution to the wind and ended all restrictions and then the virus ran rampant again? How much worse would their mental health be if we had a new explosion of infections and deaths on a par with the US? I think the answer is to issue lanyards to people who can't wear masks for mental health or physical reasons, so they can at least shop without people judging. Bit like donor cards etc but more visible.

bibbitybobbitycats · 25/07/2020 15:35

@Ilovegreentomatoes

Oh and I guess the disabled and deaf who will now find their lives even more harder than before can just get on with it as well.
Yes, very true.
Nearlyoldenoughtowearpurple · 25/07/2020 15:35

This thread is crazy, has gone off in so many directions.
The op was basically saying that due to social distancing, mask wearing and a myriad of random rules sometimes enforced in an unpleasant hectoring fashion, the joy has gone out of her shopping experience.
All other considerations aside , is there anyone who can honestly say that going out to their local shops for a mooch and browse is as pleasant as it was pre covid. I really think not, and that’s surely the point ?
Surely we are entitled to have a little moan without detracting from the heroics of the NHS that wear masks for 12 hr shifts etc etc it doesn’t have to be competitive misery does it ?

bibbitybobbitycats · 25/07/2020 15:36

@Longwhiskers14

llIlovegreentomatoes I don't think anyone would dispute that some people are really struggling in lockdown and need additional support and enormous understanding. But would it help those people if the Govt threw caution to the wind and ended all restrictions and then the virus ran rampant again? How much worse would their mental health be if we had a new explosion of infections and deaths on a par with the US? I think the answer is to issue lanyards to people who can't wear masks for mental health or physical reasons, so they can at least shop without people judging. Bit like donor cards etc but more visible.
Masks are still a problem for those who lipread though.
Longwhiskers14 · 25/07/2020 15:40

bibbitybobbitycats There needs to be a system where blind and deaf people can also carry cards/wear lanyards and as long as the 2m rule is kept to, shop staff can lower their masks to talk to them clearly. But that would involve some Govt practicalities being put into force, so I wouldn't hold out much hope.

GalesThisMorning · 25/07/2020 15:42

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Ilovegreentomatoes · 25/07/2020 15:43

My cousin is deaf and it's not always a visable disability. So she relies on lip reading in most cases which with masks on she can't do.

GalesThisMorning · 25/07/2020 15:44

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