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The joy has been sucked out of everything

570 replies

supadoopa · 24/07/2020 22:36

Let me start by saying I’m in Scotland so this isn’t about masks per se, but about the whole silly dance we are being made to do in order to go about our lives at the moment.

I went to a shopping centre today and won't be back.

It’s the first time I’ve worn a mask for any longer than a quick run into the local coop. I was probably in the centre for an hour and a half but there was sweat pouring down my neck. I felt suffocated and silenced. Hated it.

My baby looked at me like I was a monster and my toddler couldn’t hear me when I talked.

But it wasn’t just masks that were the issue. There was a ludicrous one way system, which makes absolutely no sense to me if we are wearing masks and social distancing. Then every shop had a makeshift entry and exit and their own one way system which no one was observing.

At every turn I was being monitored by security guards, eyeballing me in anticipation of a wrongdoing, ready to pounce.

Almost every shop had a guard on duty forcing you to rub gel on your hands and that of my child before entering.

There were queues everywhere. All but one set of toilets shut, so queue for that too, and toilets themselves as dirty as ever because so many people using the same ones and no cleaning.

Inexplicably in most shops all but one set of tills were shut, again forcing people to congregate in long queues.

All the restaurants were again inexplicably closed apart from, yep, McDonalds and Costa. Both under small enclaves at the back of the centre. But in them you are allowed to take your mask off and eat off a table more or less. But in the main, high roofed wide open walkways of the centre, the mask must go back on.

The shops had little stock.

When I dared approach an M&S assistant to ask for a size (with a visor on like all the rest of the assistants at an angle that perfectly channels their exhalations directly at the person they’re talking too) I was barked at as if I was a naughty schoolgirl to the extent that I put the item back on the rack and walked out without buying anything.

Does anyone else think this is all utterly ludicrous?

Shops will not survive this.

We are all adults with our own minds and perfectly able to manage our selves. Why make masks mandatory if we then have to do all this makeshift posturing to appear to be avoiding each other when really we are being herded closer together.

As someone who you might consider a “hobby shopper” as in it’s one of my pastimes (and I’m not interested in any opinions about having a better hobby, if there weren’t millions like me there wouldn’t be any shops at all). I’m someone who will browse and buy, will pick up bits I don’t really need but just want. I will spend my money happily- if the experience gives me pleasure.

But now I think it’s going to be online for me. I won’t be back at the shopping centre. I won’t be visiting our city centre either as it’s just the same.

OP posts:
GachaBread · 25/07/2020 14:32

Out shopping today in a local retail park. In a shop called The Works buying some worthless tat for the kids I witnessed the manager shouting and humiliating one of the workers because she had accidentally let two people enter when she should have told them to queue outside due to maximum capacity. It was not nice at all and the young girl was close to tears.

Around an hour later I came across the young girl sitting outside another shop. I asked her if she was alright and she told me she had just quit as she could not take this bullshit anymore. (Her words) She said it is not a nice experience to work in retail anymore and for the money that they are on it is not worth taking flak from staff or members of the public and the cleaning that they have to do is just too much. She said she will never work in retail why this is all going on.

Made me think how many others feel like this.

GrumpiestOldWoman · 25/07/2020 14:37

It's really shit gacha and I bet the manager's nerves are pretty frayed too.

It's horrible how much pressure retailers are under to be 'covid safe', they're between a rock and a hard place. Sad

Dowser · 25/07/2020 14:41

I think saving the planet has gone right out of the window it’s like everything that we have held dear to us has been swept away
Li,e we are on shifting sands
You think you’ve reached a place of safety where you can take a bit of a breather
Bit no, everything changes
Leaving us feeling powerless with no control over our lives

This is where all the depression is coming in from. The lack of control over our lives bringing up those feelings of helplessness as children and now powerless we once were.

I say that as someone who had a very good childhood who was loved and cared for. I know that wasn’t everyone’s experience but I know how much we can be hit by our childhood traumas.

Kazzyhoward · 25/07/2020 14:42

Masks on, hand sanitiser every few paces, one way systems, warnings about corona.......... the tiny gambling area had people close together tap, tap, tapping all over the buttons and screens on the machines with their hands....... you can’t let it bug you or you’ll go mad - I just smiled to myself at the absurdity of it all.

The gambling customers had a choice - they don't need to go into the tiny area and touch buttons. Completely different scenario to people going shopping and people working in shops.

maggienolia · 25/07/2020 14:43

Gacha, poor girl. Really good of you to check on her.
I went to my local garden centre last week which is normally fairly relaxed. But the EWM concession area had a couple of hefty male staff covering the two entrances.
Literally standing there with their arms folded.
They looked like the bouncers at a woolen disco.
I decided to go online instead.

Another garden centre nearby has the restaurant area being used as a one way"food hall". It looks more like the place that food goes to die.
I'd much prefer a social distanced coffee and cake tbh.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 25/07/2020 14:48

Your experience sounds awful op. I have already decided I will avoid shopping for anything other than food for the foreseeable future.

chillandrelax · 25/07/2020 14:50

I totally agree. Everything feels a bit flat at the moment.

ThatsHowWeRowl · 25/07/2020 14:50

It's like living in a nazi controlled state at the moment.Horrible.

Oh for fucks sake. There is a serious need for some grips on this thread. How would you all cope if something actually terrible happened to you? Embarrassing.....

pigoons · 25/07/2020 14:54

NRFT but I agree OP.

I am in Scotland too and it is grim with masks, especially for my 6 year old. We went to Aldi yesterday - shelves empty, usual products not there - nothing fancy just hand wash and shower gel, bits of plastic sheeting between aisle queues. DS got glared at because we were trying to get a trolley and there was no room between the entrance, the trolleys and a dog tied up and we had to get close to some people. Meanwhile in store - no SD in evidence. Deeply unpleasant - won't bother going back.

People aren't washing/disposing with face masks after wearing - instead they are balled up in their hands or pockets. It's on for in the shop, then off to next shop, then on again - what is the point? Me and DS touch our faces way more because of the trouble with glasses and masks which not one sodding politician has acknowledged (and for all the mask lovers out there it is more than a minor inconvenience not being able to see properly)

And I'm not prepared to run a 60 degree wash for one face mask (don't have anything else coloured that can stand such a hot wash) so I quarantine them. Likewise I am not throwing away a disposable one after 5 minutes wear. The environmental consequences of this are enormous - on my 5 minute walk from car to shop yesterday I saw three masks just dropped on the pavement.

There's no spontaneity any more. We tried to go somewhere last weekend but everywhere we tried was sold out or still closed. And the level of restrictions once you are actually there means that I am thinking very hard if I want to spend the money. One place was charging the same entrance fee but saying you couldn't bring your own picnic and had to use their take away vans - no thank you. I'm also not prepared to book way in advance and be caught with appalling weather - I can't afford to spend what turns out to be a huge amount of money for a poor/short experience.

It worked so much better before. I didn't mind queuing to get in store if it meant there were fewer people and people respected SD, were polite. Now what is the bloody point, queue here, don't touch that, use our paint stripping hand sanitiser (touching the same dispenser everyone else just has), don't take too long, don't pay with cash, no toilets, no discounts even though half the attraction is closed.

Saving my money and shopping online now

Ilovegreentomatoes · 25/07/2020 14:55

Well something terrible has happened a global pandemic killing millions of ppl worldwide.

bibbitybobbitycats · 25/07/2020 14:55

Dowser yes, the lack of control is something that is hard to deal with at times, as is the feeling that we have no idea what is going to happen in the coming months.

SkinSkin · 25/07/2020 14:59

Try working an NHS shift OP. And online shopping?

Can't say why, but it's different. I’ve worked for the nhs for nearly 2 decades and used masks without any problem, but I'm hating this. Really hating it.

bibbitybobbitycats · 25/07/2020 14:59

@ThatsHowWeRowl

It's like living in a nazi controlled state at the moment.Horrible.

Oh for fucks sake. There is a serious need for some grips on this thread. How would you all cope if something actually terrible happened to you? Embarrassing.....

Well, having to live with the worry that my best beloved husband could die if he catches the virus is horrible. Also, terrible things have happened to many people, tens of thousands of people dead, tens of thousands grieving, millions of people losing or at risk of losing their jobs. People who have spent years building up their businesses going bust...
Ilovegreentomatoes · 25/07/2020 15:00

And the world has changed in the sense we cannot live our lives the way we used to.
Depression has increased our young are suffering mental health issues and as op said the joy has been sucked away.

bibbitybobbitycats · 25/07/2020 15:00

But I agree that comparisons to a Nazi state etc are ridiculous.

SkinSkin · 25/07/2020 15:01

@OOAOML

I'm in Scotland and I've been wearing a mask to the supermarket since before it was compulsory. What's pissing me off now is that local Asda and Tesco have ditched the one-way system and there are people everywhere.

I went into the centre (Edinburgh) yesterday and John Lewis, M&S, Primark, none of them had one-way systems but staff were friendly and the shops weren't crowded. JL had someone asking people going in if they wanted to use hand sanitizer but there weren't security guards stalking people. Weird that different shops are so different in different places.

I feel happier shopping when people keep their distance. Queues hand gel and masks would make me more likely to shop.

Totally agree and said exactly the same: it's like masks have killed social distancing overnight. It's now more scary and unsafe than it was before. Much more.
Ilovegreentomatoes · 25/07/2020 15:02

@ThatsHowWeRowl you should feel embarrassed for dismissing the current situation we are in.Not terrible enough for you?

mamma456 · 25/07/2020 15:03

I live in a country where masks are mandatory indoors and outdoors, everyone is temperature checked when you go into a mall or shop, one way systems, etc etc. On the one hand it's well organised, everyone is compliant and generally I feel safer. On the other it makes going out feel exhausting - it really puts me off. Which I think is probably one of the unsaid outcomes. That people will voluntarily not go out because they can't be bothered with the faff, it keeps crowds down and people who don't go out aren't going to catch or spread anything.

formyboys · 25/07/2020 15:04

No I don't agree! I went to Westfield and the staff were all so helpful and kind and it was totally brilliant to shop when it's not so busy. Absolute nonsense. Get over yourself.

Longwhiskers14 · 25/07/2020 15:05

[quote Ilovegreentomatoes]@ThatsHowWeRowl you should feel embarrassed for dismissing the current situation we are in.Not terrible enough for you?[/quote]
She's not dismissing it – she's just not comparing it to the rounding up of six million adults and children to be murdered in gas chambers and anyone who is needs to check themselves.

GoldenOmber · 25/07/2020 15:06

@ThatsHowWeRowl

It's like living in a nazi controlled state at the moment.Horrible.

Oh for fucks sake. There is a serious need for some grips on this thread. How would you all cope if something actually terrible happened to you? Embarrassing.....

Agree with this, and I’m another one finding this time hard and depressing. It is shit and miserable in a lot of ways but Nazi Germany? Dictatorships? FFS.

It’s a miserable trudge at the moment for many of us, but I can cope with it as the least worst option for a few more months. Odds are looking pretty good we’ll have a vaccine by the end of the year, I can wear a ‘muzzle’ ( Hmm ) until then.

Ilovegreentomatoes · 25/07/2020 15:07

I think the current restrictions will affect a lot of people's mental health.If you are single and your only communication was going out to the shops to spk to ppl how are you going to feel now.If you hate wearing a mask so don't go out you may feel even more isolated than before.If you go out and are shouted out it may knock your confidence to go out again.The list is endless.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 25/07/2020 15:08

I am interested in the opinions from other countries. Have they experienced any pushback?

I suspect at least some of the countries where masks are mandatory without exemption don’t give one shiny shit about mental health or the differently abled. So yes, everyone in public will be wearing a mask but there will be those who feel they can’t go out.

As for the poster up thread who said that a toddler who couldn't hear someone speaking though a mask needs a hearing test, give over. A mask muffles the speaker, depending on type, and it’s not hard to understand why that then makes them harder to understand.

IntermittentParps · 25/07/2020 15:08

I'm on holiday down south and omg the difference is incredible and the people are so rude.

I live 'down south' (in That London, in fact) and in my neighbourhood people are almost universally being considerate, polite and friendly.

Kazzyhoward · 25/07/2020 15:10

It's like living in a nazi controlled state at the moment.Horrible.

Yeah, having to wear a mask for a few minutes is just the same as mass genocide isn't it???

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