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Original poster

Need advice, would you let your 16 yo dd do this?

289 replies

Loopylou6 · 20/07/2020 12:18

Dd has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for a few months, it's all very serious and they stay at each others houses regularly.
Her boyfriend is not English and has gone back to home country for 2 and a half months to visit his other family. Dd had wanted to fly over herself for a week to stay with him, which I said no to. Anyway, shes told me last night that his family are flying over for 10 days to visit him im his home country, and have invited her to go with them, he will pay her plane tickets and she will stay with him in an apartment.
She's desperate to go, but I'm not sure, she's had an extremely rough couple of years through no fault of her own, didn't get to have a prom because of covid etc, and I think it'll be a lovely adventure for her, she gets on well with his family as she spends alot of time at his house.
But she's only 16, altho she's very mature, so i just don't know
WWYD?

OP posts:
Moonshinemisses · 21/07/2020 19:59

Ultimately you know your daughter best and it's a decision to make between the 2 of you. Last year my 16yr old went to Spain with her 18yr old boyfriend to stay with his dad's family. They stayed in an annex if the families main villa. We agreed before she went that she would facetime me every day an she knew if at anytime she wanted to leave I would book her a flight asap. She had a wonderful time. I'd say if you agree to her going (could you even stop her @16?) Put some mutually agreed conditions in place.

EffieD · 21/07/2020 20:16

I would say so, as a lot of people leave home when they are 16 etc. I would make sure to chat to his family before hand though and make sure she knows what to do if something were to go wrong.

EffieD · 21/07/2020 20:16

I would say so, as a lot of people leave home when they are 16 etc. I would make sure to chat to his family before hand though and make sure she knows what to do if something were to go wrong.

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EffieD · 21/07/2020 20:16

I would say so, as a lot of people leave home when they are 16 etc. I would make sure to chat to his family before hand though and make sure she knows what to do if something were to go wrong.

IHaveBrilloHair · 21/07/2020 20:30

I'd have let my Dd, Im not cool, just not freaked out with no reason to be.
The posters calling it a "sex holiday", have had me sniggering on and off all day.
Oh to be young again Grin
Dd and her BF have lived together for a year, they are 18 and 20.

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 21/07/2020 20:37

Dd and her BF have lived together for a year, they are 18 and 20.

Irrelevant. Op's DD is only 16 and has been with this guy for only 7 months, half of them during lockdown.

wifflewafflebiscuit · 21/07/2020 20:45

No

Original poster
Loopylou6 · 21/07/2020 20:50

Wow. Well thank you all for taking the time out of your day to give me your thoughts, I actually really do appreciate it :)
Apart from maybe being called an arsehole and a crap parent 😂

OP posts:
Prettybluepigeons · 21/07/2020 20:57

Loopylou6....what decision have you come to?

dayswithaY · 21/07/2020 20:57

That's Mumsnet for you.

Itsarattrap · 21/07/2020 20:59

EffieD

I would say so, as a lot of people leave home when they are 16 etc.“

Our daughter did. I would have urged her very, very strongly not to go purely because of the state of the world atm. Holidaying in a country that was for quite some time the epicentre of a nasty disease and is still subject to various local lockdowns just isn’t the wisest move. Could she manage a sudden resurgence and stranding in Italy for who knows his long?
Presumably he lives in the UK? I would strongly advise them to holiday here this year.
I wouldn’t be concerned for other reasons. 16 year olds have sex. I would much rather they were open about their relationships and brought their partners home. Many 16 year olds are very mature, confident young women, more than capable of holding their own with frequently less mature 19 year old males. I wash Presumably OP’s daughter is one of them too. If she were not, presumably she wouldn’t want to holiday in Europe with a boyfriend.

Itsarattrap · 21/07/2020 21:00

I was, not wash!

jackspratswife01 · 21/07/2020 21:36

No chance, plenty of time for that when she is older, too risky

Somethingkindaoooo · 21/07/2020 21:54

@Prettybluepigeons

You didnt pay for own driving lessons at 16....cant drive until 17
Some countries have a different driving age?
youmakemewannashoutloud · 21/07/2020 21:55

Yes I would. You do need to speak to the parents but she is travelling with them and he is an adult.

youmakemewannashoutloud · 21/07/2020 21:55

Yes I would. You do need to speak to the parents but she is travelling with them and he is an adult.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 21/07/2020 22:04

I commented earlier about I’d rather this scenario than festivals etc.

BUT what are all these posters on about .... leaving home at 16, like that’s normal! It wasn’t normal in 1984 when I was 16

Starshollowwannabe · 21/07/2020 22:07

No chance... I have a 16 year old daughter too

AppropriateAdult · 21/07/2020 22:12

Non-essential travel to Italy during a pandemic?! Do people think Covid has suddenly gone away? Hmm

cuntryclub · 21/07/2020 22:13

BUT what are all these posters on about .... leaving home at 16, like that’s normal! It wasn’t normal in 1984 when I was 16

People did, and still do.

I was thrown out at 15 because my mother found out I was seeing a married man in his 30's. I needed her. She let me down. I had to grow up, sofa surf, sleep rough and survive. At 16 I had a council flat (it really was a thing back then) and I worked 2 jobs to manage my rent.

A holiday to Italy is nothing.

Original poster
Loopylou6 · 21/07/2020 22:18

@cuntryclub thank you so much for all your comments x

OP posts:
Original poster
Loopylou6 · 21/07/2020 22:21

Also, thank you to all who have commented for, or against without insulting me, I'm feeling pretty delicate at the moment, and that decision has been bloody hard

OP posts:
bee222 · 21/07/2020 23:25

But Italians ( and I generalise with good knowledge here) are not as liberated in outlook as you might like

What exactly is your source of good knowledge? Something to do with travelling to Italy for work? Because you’ve done a lot of generalising about Italians in this thread, and it’s all bollocks.

Deadringer · 21/07/2020 23:48

I have a 16 year old dd, no way in hell would i consider this.

Pashad · 21/07/2020 23:50

Definitely not

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