MN vs real life

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

Can we have some (lighthearted) comparisons about what MN is like compared to real life. I'll start

MN: a roast chicken last for 14 days for a family of 5
RL: a chicken is cooked and the carcass is disposed of. At a push, the meat is taken off the bones for soup

MN: Parent and child spaces should only be used for randoms with invisible leg problems. Even if you have 5 children you should park in a normal space and not be so entitled as to think P&C spaces are for you
RL: Parents Park in P&C places and get annoyed when people without kids park in them

MN: Everybody wants a low key wedding with 6 people in the local cafe and the bride wants to wear a nightie she bought for 80p from the Scope shop
RL: most people have a lovely wedding in the region of £20k with a dress bought from a wedding boutique

MN children all have elf on the shelf and 100 Xmas presents each that are all wrapped a month in advance. RL kids get put to bed early so parents can wrap 10 presents to go under tree.

MN everyone hates their in-laws. RL everyone gets along fine.

RL: Most people have at least one television; having two is not unusual.

MN: Hardly anyone owns a television; if they do own one it has a 5cm x 7cm screen and is only ever used on rare occasions to watch obscure French films.

@midsomermurderess

Everyone of you use this site so why are you calling out (to use a grim phrase) others? You speak to your own experiences here, none of which is cancelled out by other people speaking to their experiences. If it bothers you so much, you feel the culture of this site is so affronting to you, I believe Netmums it up and running again. Maybe go back there. These threads are so sad and chippy.

There's always one

Everyone of you use this site so why are you calling out (to use a grim phrase) others? You speak to your own experiences here, none of which is cancelled out by other people speaking to their experiences. If it bothers you so much, you feel the culture of this site is so affronting to you, I believe Netmums it up and running again. Maybe go back there. These threads are so sad and chippy

I've never been on Netmums, so I have nothing to 'go back' to.

In the nicest possible way, you aren't the thread police. If you dislike the thread then don't participate. One of this site's (many) strengths, is the diversity of subjects.

AIBU to be disappointed not to have ever received a thank you or even an acknowledgement for any of the Christmas or birthday gifts I bought my niece and nephew?

RL: That must be disappointing. After all, it’s simple good manners to thank people for presents. It should never be too much trouble to send a letter, email or text or make a quick phone call.

MN: Oh my God! You don’t buy presents in the expectation or a thank you and you are massively unreasonable to be disappointed not get one. Don’t bother buying presents if you’re only doing it to get a thank you.

It's bloody light hearted @midsomermurderess.

@midsomermurderess

Everyone of you use this site so why are you calling out (to use a grim phrase) others? You speak to your own experiences here, none of which is cancelled out by other people speaking to their experiences. If it bothers you so much, you feel the culture of this site is so affronting to you, I believe Netmums it up and running again. Maybe go back there. These threads are so sad and chippy.

MN: omg I can't believe you are slagging off something you use all the time! If you don't like that much, fuck off to Netmums!!!

RL: let's have good fun in a light-hearted manner, taking the gentle piss out of something we made actually find if... because that's what normal people do

We are all actually fond of*

On that note

MN: nope you can't have an edit function. No. Stop asking. Don't even think about thinking about asking. Can't be done. Won't be done. People will abuse it and rewrite history. No way José. Nuh-uh. .... No.

RL: here you go, edit away!

^RL: let's have good fun in a light-hearted manner, taking the gentle piss out of something we made actually find if... because that's what normal people do* Exactly my dear binary

MN - 'We change the bedsheets every 45 seconds'.

RL - 'How bad do they smell?'

@midsomermurderess - I recognise myself more in the MN versions of this thread than “RL” but I’m still finding it bloody hilarious. Come on - this is so not chippy. It’s a gentle piss take. There are a Million threads on here to put people’s backs up but this is an example of fun that works.

MN : no one should have a child if they havent got enough in savings to pay the mortgage for 6 years and could pay for every item of clothing, school trip, and 5 extra curricular activities until each child is 27.
RL : shit happens , circumstances change and it's ok to whinge about a school trip that cost £800.

MN : only drink half a glass of wine on high days and holidays and only if DH isnt drinking in case a freak accident happens to my (healthy, not accident prone) child and I need to take them to a and e.
RL : both parents enjoy a drink at weekends and in the rare event an accident happened would ask a neighbour/call an ambulance (if appropriate) or get a taxi.
MN : last ate bread in 1992 and can survive the day on 3 spinach leaves and some "high quality protein"
RL : got a meal deal at tesco, and felt peckish later so ate s couple of chicken nuggets off the kids plate.

*EllaAlright

I’m a single parent struggling to make ends meet in a low paying job, I barely see my kids.

MN; hire a life coach and retrain.

RL; not as easy as that for most.

I think you're supposed to take in some ironing

Or just suddenly become a child minder, even though you have no qualification to do so. It's really easy, apparently*

😂😂 yy to both ofthese and "move to a cheaper area"

mn: my teenagers would never take drugs and sleeps over with her childhood best friend at the weekends

Rl: teenager has snorted several grams of ketamine and is passed out on a park bench

Mn: I earn a normal salary (75,000k)

Rl: I am on minimum wage and work three jobs

@MacduffsMuff only every 45 seconds? You minger. I change mine 10 seconds after taking the old ones off.

You must smell but everyone is too scared to tell you.

MN: I feel my family of 7 and 3 large dogs on £25 a week.

RL: How the fuck did the shopping come to £200?

MN : I can tell from 3 metres away (with a mask on) people who have not had at least 3 showers a day and are wearing clothes that have been worn before, and it makes me wretch.
RL : sometimes on the train if it's hot there is an occassional whiff of BO. Everyone survives.

MN: I have a huge zit, do you want me to show you
MN: Film the popping, in 3D with added sound effects, infact get your dh/dw/partner/child to film from another angle.

RL I have a huge zit ..
RL: Why the fuck are you telling me you gross person?

MN children all have elf on the shelf and 100 Xmas presents each that are all wrapped a month in advance

I find it to be the total opposite. On here people say you're spoiling your kids if you give them any more than a book and an orange. Oh and they only wrap using paper they've carefully flattened and reused for the past 20 years.

"On here people say you're spoiling your kids if you give them any more than a book and an orange."

And massive piles of presents are chavvy (but no one ever says chavvy and jumps on you if you do but it's ok to heavily heavily imply it). I fucking loved massive present piles as a child, it was amazing.

RL: “DC are so excited about Christmas, they can’t wait for Santa to come.”

MN: I have no idea why people tell their children about Santa. Do you not realise that you are bringing your child up to have a world of issues when they find out they’ve been lied to?”

It's a different world on here at Christmas

I agree @ItWasNotOK and @AlternativePerspective

Nobody on MN spoils their children at Christmas, I believe I’ve read some sort of bizarre rule of something to read, something to wear, something they need and something they want. What a bloody miserable Christmas more like.

Reading through these posts I have realised that I am a confusing mix of middle class and chav😂