MN vs real life

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

Can we have some (lighthearted) comparisons about what MN is like compared to real life. I'll start

MN: a roast chicken last for 14 days for a family of 5
RL: a chicken is cooked and the carcass is disposed of. At a push, the meat is taken off the bones for soup

MN: Parent and child spaces should only be used for randoms with invisible leg problems. Even if you have 5 children you should park in a normal space and not be so entitled as to think P&C spaces are for you
RL: Parents Park in P&C places and get annoyed when people without kids park in them

MN: Everybody wants a low key wedding with 6 people in the local cafe and the bride wants to wear a nightie she bought for 80p from the Scope shop
RL: most people have a lovely wedding in the region of £20k with a dress bought from a wedding boutique

MN: my child had a cucumber wrap, a banana and carrot sticks with hummus for lunch - cue shouts of 'bananas have too much sugar in them you must swap it for something healthier, also was the wrap a wholegrain one?'

RL: kid has a ham sandwich in their packed lunch every day

MN: you are interfering in your young adult child's life if you express a preference in anything they do

RL: 'Mum what should I do, I don't know how to do this, can you pay for this' etc etc

Random question about kids sports/activities

MN: My DCs are both playing for District/Academy level in very obscure sports and it's very very expensive and very very time consuming

RL: Kids do swimming, play for a Sunday footy team

Or the reverse: No one should top any teams until the kids are 18, your very talented kid should play with kids who can't kick/throw a ball and expect to enjoy it well into teen years

MN: Have thousands of Facebook friends but hate them and act as though FB friends are tiny people who live inside their computer, rather than actual RL friends they have chosen to connect with. Posting on Facebook is an act of attention whoring akin to publishing a billboard of your vagina, and if you mention you’re so much as thinking of going on holiday an army of men in black masks with big sacks with “SWAG” written on them will immediately appear and take all your stuff.

RL: Most people have social media, some don’t. Most people only friend their actual friends and family and people they actually like. Maybe the odd annoying auntie. Most people treat FB like a casual conversation with mates and put random stuff about their day to day lives up, some people use it less, and apart from the odd annoying auntie it’s not a big deal.

Mn: everyone earns 150k in a 9-5 job, has 3 children, numerous paid activities they do with said children, and everyone's life is exactly the same.

Rl: most women don't earn very much, sometimes only in part time work and the most activity their kids get is running across the road to go bother someone else's mother.

Mn: trampolines are evil and bad neighbourly

Rl: every kid I know has one

Mn: I only buy Boden, joules, fat face etc
Rl: primark and new look, with next for nicer stuff

MN: DH, DS, DS, DD, DF and DF.
RL: My husband, sister, son, daughter, father and friend.

Mn - pink babygros for girls and blue for boys.

RL - they wear whatever is clean from the pile of clothes passed on from friends and family.

MN: DH, DS, DS, DD, DF and DF.
RL: My husband, sister, son, daughter, father and friend.

Even better for that:

Mn: my DH has cheated on me
Rl: that cheating scumbag slept with that tart down the road

@Parker231

Mn - pink babygros for girls and blue for boys.

RL - they wear whatever is clean from the pile of clothes passed on from friends and family.

@Parker231

Don't you mean

MN boys and girls both wear khaki non-gendered clothing without tacky slogans or TV characters on

MN : packed lunch for a school trip to the zoo - lightly spiced salad of tabbouleh and feta with a plain rice cake, carrot sticks, and a square of dark chocolate

RL : ham sandwich on white, a frube, a penguin and an apple that will be returned

MN: I've literally been shaking and sobbing all day.
RL: I've just been sitting on my arse as usual, wasting the day on my phone.

MN: ''Hey OP, are you usually this thick and such a twat? It's clear to us that you don't belong here. Have a biscuit''.
RL: nervously looks away and doesn't say a thing

MN: I named my kids Ember Oakley and Hawthorn Flynn because I'm so yoonique and such a cool and free spirit.
The rest of RL: This person is obviously a goofy troll because who puts up such outing info online.

“Someone said hello to my DD in the supermarket.”

MN: You should log it with the police. They’re likely a paedophile, and this might just be the missing piece of the puzzle the police are looking for to arrest them.

RL: aww isn’t that lovely. Did she wave and say hello back?

How long does it take you to clean your house?

MN: I have five bedrooms, three bathrooms, large open plan kitchen/dining/family room, separate sitting room, study, play room. I deep clean twice a week including removing and washing all curtains, scrubbing floors, walls and skirting, cleaning windows inside and out and changing all bedding - twice.

Takes me two hours.

RL: Well, today I cleaned the bathroom and changed the sheets - go me!

MN: 18 year old offspring are fully grown adults, responsible for every aspect of their lIves and decisions. You must not disagree with their choices. All MNetters had 2 jobs, a flat,did voluntary work and managed a degree on the side at 18. And were NC with their families.

RL: " Get up ,it's 2 o'clock. Shift those dirty clothes and that festering plate.
OK I'll drop you off at the station".

MN my son/daughter will not be having sexual relations before the age of 18 and in a long term committed relationship. They are children don’t you know!

RL taking your nearly 16 year old daughter to get the pill and a pack of condoms, she’s been with her boyfriend 7 months and feels ready.

@SingingBabooshkaBadly your rl example is definitely my life!

Everyone of you use this site so why are you calling out (to use a grim phrase) others? You speak to your own experiences here, none of which is cancelled out by other people speaking to their experiences. If it bothers you so much, you feel the culture of this site is so affronting to you, I believe Netmums it up and running again. Maybe go back there. These threads are so sad and chippy.

It's a gentle piss take, midsomer
We wouldn't be on here if we didn't like it. Some of the comments are spot on and highly entertaining

MN: Isabella and Olivia? Booooring. How about Persephone or Sheherezade?

RL: All baby girls are called Isabella or Olivia

@Whenwillow - I misread your post as my MN example being your RL!

midsomer. This thread is neither chippy nor sad. It’s a very good natured thread. If you want a fight you should head over to AIBU.

This thread is hilarious. I’ve laughed out loud! It’s so good to know my life is more RL than Mn in many areas.

Hands up who's never been on Netmums.

MN: A picnic must consist of foodstuffs that can be called "naice".

RL: Sandwiches, crisps, fruit.

@Parker231. This is mumsnet. If you found the thread that funny how come you didn’t snort your tea?

It's monumentally chippy. Angry and sneering about women living their lives more confidently and successfully then others. It's just sad.