Are you one of 4+ siblings?

[AdultFishcakes]

Hello

Thinking of going for #4. I’m an only child, DH one of two and we have DC 4, 2 and 1. All going well baby would arrive end next year when I’m 40.

(Under normal circumstances) we have a good mix of flexible work, and childcare, space and the financial ability to meet the costs.

If you’re a sibling from a large family I’d love to know what your experience was growing up, especially in terms of privacy, noise, major pros and major cons of being one of four or above.

Thanks

One of five. All of us childfree by choice. Partly because my mum never gave the impression of liking having children.

my mum never gave the impression of liking having children

Same here. She would deny it now, and she was never abusive - she just seemed to hate her life. yet I know it was she who wanted DC 3 and 4, so it wasn't that my DF pressured her into it. I still don't get it. I can't remember a single day when she seemed to take the slightest pleasure in being my mother. It was only really when I got to uni that it began to dawn on me that other people's mothers weren't like this.

@MrsNoah2020 yep that's my mum all over as well!

4 kids by the age of 28, miserable as sin, we constantly walked on eggshells around her. Only realised this wasnt normal when I became an adult. Havent seen her in years anyway

Isn't it weird? I understand that some women are coerced into having more children but that 100% wasn't the case for my mother. If you hate it, why keep doing it? Who thinks, "I fucking hate being a mother of two, but being a mother of three/four sounds like a dream"?

I'm one of four. I'm nearly 50 now. Looking back, I realise what an amazing woman my mum was. I lost her 18 months ago and I miss her terribly. My youngest brother died in a car accident when he was 20 which was 20 years ago. My oldest brother was driving the car. He developed a drug and alcohol, problem which nearly killed him. My mother was a tremendous support to me when my children were small. I have three and wanted a big family because I felt comforted by the thought of giving the love I had received to my own children. They are teenagers now, and I did find it hard but if I had been younger I would have considered a fourth child.

When she died, me and brothers somehow managed to pull together as an amazing team with my Dad. That was the legacy she left us. My mum still managed to have a career later in life and had more friends than she ever realised.

It's a lot, you have to have strength you never realised but if you can give it everything you've got then it's not a mistake. I don't think my mum ever realised how amazing she was. But for our family four was a blessing. I miss my brother every day and miss her more than I can say.

Your pain comes right off the page @welliesarefuntowear

Sending unmumsnetty hugs xx