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Original poster

I have no friends

253 replies

tulalulah · 14/06/2020 16:50

Just that really. I have realised during lockdown I have no-one to talk to.
My old friends have either lost contact with me or don't seem to want to know (I always reach out to them and they don't seem interested in maintaining a friendship).
I don't know if it's me. I used to have friends but none of them seemed interested in maintaining the friendship (after eg university) when it was no longer convenient.
I don't know why I'm posting this really, I'm feeling pretty low about it right now.

OP posts:
Traveller2020 · 18/12/2020 14:43

Hi all
I was just wondering how everyone is getting on?

I'm the same, no real friends. Just acquaintances. It is hard, I'm lucky I've got a good family but it would be nice to have someone to talk to who isn't related to me. Someone I can go out with for a drink, meal etc. (once we're allowed)

The FB page sounds good but unfortunately I don't have face book.

It would be nice if mumsnet had somewhere people could message others in the same situation. Pen pals in a way.

I'm in the North west, near Blackburn.

Feg17 · 27/12/2020 23:21

@tulalulah I hope I’m not too late to ask for the link too. Have only just discovered this thread but feel the same as a lot of previous posters

NigelWithTheBrie79 · 27/12/2020 23:48

@tulalulah I know your thread is quite old now but I'm glad it was bumped as I too feel the same as yourself and its strangely reassuring to know that I'm not alone in feeling alone. If anyone can send me the link too I would be very grateful. I'm 42 (almost) and 10 weeks pregnant with my 4th (early days yet). Smile

Mombie · 28/12/2020 00:14

I have only just realised that this is an old thread and I desperately rushed through it to ask for a link too if you are out there @tulalulah. The thread has really resonated with me. I feel as though as life has gone on, I can’t seem to make friendships that ‘stick’. I work with people, I have acquaintances and I know people but not at a meaningful friendship level. I think I have just been so caught up in family that somehow my friendships have fallen away as I seem to have less in common with anyone or become more boring. Maybe it’s me but I would like to think that I’m a nice person and it sounds so cringey but I would love to have some friends again.

NigelWithTheBrie79 · 28/12/2020 04:08

@Mombie you sound like me my lovely. I have 3 people I considered best friends but gradually they left me behind and as usual it took me a few months to get the message.
I do everything right. I'm a good listener. I help people out but I'm not a pushover. However the 3 people I refer to took my help because they were desperate and dh reckons I'm a reminder of bad,sad and difficult times which is why they dump me and I let myself get used. I had a counsellor who disagreed and said it was just unfortunate coincidence and I shouldn't let peoples negativity cancel out a caring quality. I agree with this and still try to be there for others.

NigelWithTheBrie79 · 28/12/2020 04:10

It is tough though as I literally have no one to speak to about anything worrying me.

GingerScallop · 28/12/2020 05:21

Am 43 with a two year old and an 8 week old and without friends. I am in the South East. Even mum's groups don't seem to work for me though I try. Being an older mum seems to make it worse

Itsallpointless · 28/12/2020 08:05

Late fifties here. Christmas, and this year basically, have made me realise I don't have anyone that I am 'special' to.

I joined Meetup a couple of years ago, went fairly regularly to one particular group, and though we may exchange occasional texts, there's not much substance to be honest. I constantly question myself, and that I must definitely be a horrible person, otherwise I'd have this wonderful network around me.

I am outgoing, chatty, 'appear' confident (certainly don't struggle talking to anyone) sociable. You wouldn't have a clue how lonely I feel/am.

OP I hope things have picked up a little for you? Maybe with online forums etc? I plan to 'get out there' once this situation has resolved.

Itsallpointless · 28/12/2020 08:05

Oh, and I am single tooSad

Mombie · 28/12/2020 08:22

@NigelWithTheBrie79 I know what you mean. I feel like I have listened and supported friends in the past but this year has really highlighted that I don’t have anybody that will ask after me. The friendships that I have made have just sort of disappeared as I wasn’t needed.
@Itsallpointless, I can not wait for all of this to be over and start doing things again too. Although, I didn’t do much in the first place so not sure where I would begin! Maybe a hobby of some sort...

AstridAv · 28/12/2020 08:24

I dont know what to say but you are not alone. I dont have any either

Nishky · 28/12/2020 08:28

Could I have the link to the Facebook group please

Cactusclub · 28/12/2020 09:41

Could I have the link too please

Joinedtosayhello · 28/12/2020 14:47

Hello everyone. Hope you’re all doing ok. I echo what the OP and PP have said. I don’t know what the answer is but wanted to say I know how it feels xx

gluteustothemaximus · 28/12/2020 14:51

I have no friends either OP. Through a series of events, that's just how it worked out.

And now I'm older, it's very hard to make friends as everyone already has their own friendship groups, and there's no room for another one Sad

Luckily I am very busy with my DH and 3 kids, and my work. I have no family either. So on the plus side, I haven't felt isolated in lockdown as I have no one anyway.

lbrc84 · 28/12/2020 20:45

So glad I've found this thread and realised I'm not alone. Anyone in the Staffordshire area willing to chat/keep in touch with would be lovely.

Lloydjones · 16/01/2021 17:58

I know this is an old thread but I would love to have the Facebook link!

Glj00711 · 16/01/2021 18:16

Hi everyone,
This is an old thread but it’s really making me feel better. I’m in my late 40s and don’t really have any close friends. I think lockdown has really highlighted this like many of you have said and I can’t stop thinking about it. I have mum friends as I have 2 daughters but no-one close. I have a couple of friends that I keep in touch with but it’s always me initiating our contact. I feel like they all have already lots of friends and although they like me I’m an after thought. I reached out to 4 mum friends if they fancied a walk over lock down but they all said yes then I’ve heard nothing. Pretty sad really. Did you all create a face book page? I would love to join!!

LandGirlJudy · 16/01/2021 19:03

I'm in the same boat and even messaged a few people on here but even on a thread about friendship and loneliness still nobody wants to talk to me Sad

SatsumasOrClementines · 16/01/2021 19:18

@LandGirlJudy do you think that might be the issue sometimes? What I mean is that I know one of the things that stops me having lots of friends is that I’m really not great at reaching out. So if you messaged me I might feel self conscious about what to reply, etc.

Also, making friendships can be a bit like dating: getting to that point where you’re comfortable and it’s really enjoyable, it takes time. Some people want the ready made friendship but not the effort to get there.

Breastfeedingworries · 16/01/2021 19:32

If you’re in the east Midlands I’ll be your friend. :)

2orangey · 16/01/2021 19:51

Hello fellow friendless ones!

I was never the most popular but always had 2 or 3 friends to chat to. Now, honestly there is no-one.

It seems I have only had situational friends not true friends.

I am an introvert and happy by myself a lot of the time. Still, I would like someone to talk to other than DP. My family don't live close by.

I think there are a lot of us in the same boat!

Glj00711 · 16/01/2021 20:16

LandGirlJudy - You should of got a reply but there was a lot of people replying to that thread with the same worries.
SatsumasOrClementines-I think there is some truth in that. I was thinking to myself if I join a Facebook group on loneliness then will all my “friends” on facebook will now that I’m lonely. 😂

Breastfeedingworries- your very sweet, I’m in London...shame.

2orangey- there are a lot of us in the same boat. It would be great to have a group like WhatsApp or something that we could all chat and moan about the friends that we don’t have!

It makes you feel much better that I’m not the ownly one! I think we all blame ourselves I think there’s lots of reasons that we don’t have close friends.

Needsomethingtoread · 16/01/2021 20:19

Can I have the link please @ThunderCrack

user1471435657 · 16/01/2021 20:29

Could I have the link too? Thank you

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